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Substance Abuse
They don't get what they put us through....
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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 687192" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>TL</p><p>I really think you are looking at the whole picture too much rather than taking one day at a time.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes our D_C's say things to hurt us and don't really mean it but are mad because we're not doing what they want us to do, they are trying to manipulate us.</p><p></p><p>I remember telling my son during sober times in between the madness how much he hurt me, how nervous he made me, how physically sick he made me, etc. and he said "I don't mean to". I thought that was just a crazy response but I now understand that he really didn't MEAN to. We have always been very close and he is my youngest so I thought surely if he knew how deeply he was hurting me he would just STOP. Well he didn't.</p><p></p><p>I am still on the journey but when I think back to all the sleepless nights, cold sores, running to the bathroom, fights with my husband, STRESS, breaking out in a cold sweat, not enjoying anything in my life that is good and now see that it didn't do him or me a damned bit of good, I try to protect myself from all of that now. It is just complete madness I know. It's like you cannot believe the vortex you are in because you are in the vortex with them. It's hard to pull out of it but if you focus on yourself and the good things in your life every day you can do it little by little.</p><p></p><p>There are so many knowledgeable people on here that have helped me with all of this and better understand the "big picture". It's hard when you are in the middle of it. The best thing we did, and something you really can't do until they are at least 18, is have him not in our home any longer. I feel so much peace now and I sometimes feel guilty but I have not lived my own life for 5 years and now I am trying to just be happy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 687192, member: 15032"] TL I really think you are looking at the whole picture too much rather than taking one day at a time. Sometimes our D_C's say things to hurt us and don't really mean it but are mad because we're not doing what they want us to do, they are trying to manipulate us. I remember telling my son during sober times in between the madness how much he hurt me, how nervous he made me, how physically sick he made me, etc. and he said "I don't mean to". I thought that was just a crazy response but I now understand that he really didn't MEAN to. We have always been very close and he is my youngest so I thought surely if he knew how deeply he was hurting me he would just STOP. Well he didn't. I am still on the journey but when I think back to all the sleepless nights, cold sores, running to the bathroom, fights with my husband, STRESS, breaking out in a cold sweat, not enjoying anything in my life that is good and now see that it didn't do him or me a damned bit of good, I try to protect myself from all of that now. It is just complete madness I know. It's like you cannot believe the vortex you are in because you are in the vortex with them. It's hard to pull out of it but if you focus on yourself and the good things in your life every day you can do it little by little. There are so many knowledgeable people on here that have helped me with all of this and better understand the "big picture". It's hard when you are in the middle of it. The best thing we did, and something you really can't do until they are at least 18, is have him not in our home any longer. I feel so much peace now and I sometimes feel guilty but I have not lived my own life for 5 years and now I am trying to just be happy. [/QUOTE]
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