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Substance Abuse
They don't get what they put us through....
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 687308" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I truly understand this, especially this minute because there is another thread (Walrus) dealing with when is enough, enough and is it OK. More or less that is the theme.</p><p></p><p>And I really support her as having had enough. Because there is a time when the relationship is mainly hurt. And when you are dealing with adults, and we are--there is no excuse for that.</p><p></p><p>We are all on the same page I think. We just differ on what to do. So I really support your daughter in her decision to no longer have any part of it. And I really get that your son needs to clean up his act. It is really on him.</p><p></p><p>So I am not sure why I am repeating everything you are saying but it has to do with I do not want to give up the fantasy that everything can be OK someday. Perhaps it is my grief about how everything turned out in my family. But I really hold onto the idea that there can be coming together even after real ugliness and hurt.</p><p></p><p>Maybe what it is is a principle, understanding that while each child and parent is an individual, and has a right to think of and preserve self, that there is an ideal too, that we can learn to put into practice. </p><p></p><p>I come from a family that over a couple of generations lost all family. The families that up until 100 years ago were 12 to 14 kids, unified, loving. Even though I write about the human condition as being to separate, I hold in my heart the desire for a loving and supportive family.</p><p></p><p>How very sad. I think about this and grieve it all the time. </p><p></p><p>TL you are such a fighter. You hold your kids so close in your heart. Your loyalty to each of them is so strong and your understanding of each of their needs realistic yet almost selfless. I so admire how you are doing this. How blessed are your kids. I really believe that in the end the model you have lived will triumph and what you seek, will come. I believe that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 687308, member: 18958"] I truly understand this, especially this minute because there is another thread (Walrus) dealing with when is enough, enough and is it OK. More or less that is the theme. And I really support her as having had enough. Because there is a time when the relationship is mainly hurt. And when you are dealing with adults, and we are--there is no excuse for that. We are all on the same page I think. We just differ on what to do. So I really support your daughter in her decision to no longer have any part of it. And I really get that your son needs to clean up his act. It is really on him. So I am not sure why I am repeating everything you are saying but it has to do with I do not want to give up the fantasy that everything can be OK someday. Perhaps it is my grief about how everything turned out in my family. But I really hold onto the idea that there can be coming together even after real ugliness and hurt. Maybe what it is is a principle, understanding that while each child and parent is an individual, and has a right to think of and preserve self, that there is an ideal too, that we can learn to put into practice. I come from a family that over a couple of generations lost all family. The families that up until 100 years ago were 12 to 14 kids, unified, loving. Even though I write about the human condition as being to separate, I hold in my heart the desire for a loving and supportive family. How very sad. I think about this and grieve it all the time. TL you are such a fighter. You hold your kids so close in your heart. Your loyalty to each of them is so strong and your understanding of each of their needs realistic yet almost selfless. I so admire how you are doing this. How blessed are your kids. I really believe that in the end the model you have lived will triumph and what you seek, will come. I believe that. [/QUOTE]
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They don't get what they put us through....
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