They think my mom had a mini stroke and now I'm terrified.

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Brodi, Nov 5, 2015.

  1. Brodi

    Brodi New Member

    My mom's neurologist thinks she may have had a small stroke.

    Several weeks ago we went shopping in a nearby town. I went out to wait for her in the car. She pays for the stuff and comes out to the car. Puts the groceries in the trunk and puts the cart in the cart return. She gets in the car and is unually quit, with an upset look on her face. She tells me she just had an "out of body experience" where she does not remember the time between her checking out and reaching the car. She tells me she thinks she has had a breakthrough seizure (she has medication controlled epilepsy) and becomes really upset and starts having trouble speaking/understand. I call 911 and they take her to the hospital.

    The ER doctor (a useless man who told my dad he would need his gallbladder taken out, when in reality all he had were some really small kidney stones!) agrees that it was most likely a breakthrough seizure. Gives my mom some Diazepam and tells her to get a referral to see a Neurologist. She goes to the neurologist a week later and fails the memory portion of the test. doctor orders an MRI and EEG. EEG is going to be done on Nov 27 and they still have to schedule the MRI.

    She is going to be 58 next week and has been having memory "issues" for about a year now. Word substitution, "word salad", problems following a GPS (at times unable to figure out which road to turn on) and has almost caused wrecks by pulling out in front of cars twice (both times I was with her).

    She also told the doctor in the ER that she felt like she was about to pass out while we were going almost 70 on the freeway!:eek:

    She does have a history of Schizophrenia that required hospitalization multiple times, so I have no idea if that plays into any of this.
  2. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    You are doing everything you know to help her, Brodi. Even if it is scary news, it is best to know where we stand so our future decisions will be informed ones.

    Prayers for you and your people, and especially, for you mom, Brodi.

    My child, who is 41, has similar issues. She describes her reality as bewildering, and tells us that her memory problems leave her uncertain about whether the positions she takes and the things she believes are viable, reality connected things. It gets to be a question of wavering personal integrity, and is so disconcerting for her.

    You are there for your mom Brodi, supporting her and helping her face whatever this is.

    Holding you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, Brodi, I am so sorry.
    She is a complicated case. Epilepsy AND schizophrenia? And out-of-body experience? It's very good that she's getting an EEG and MRI. Those tests will help a lot. Sigh.
    In the meantime, I hope that someone can be with her at all times.
    And I am so glad that she was able to verbalize what she was going through. That is so helpful. Wow.
  4. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    prayers for your situation and that the doctors will get to the bottom of it.
  5. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    Prayers for you and Mom. This is tough and you are so strong. Hang in there Brodi. Can you get someone, services helping you there? A support system? I know you posted early on that you rely on Mom to drive you. I do hope you can get some help dear. It is rough facing health issues with our parents.
    Rougher for you still with all you face.
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2015
  6. Brodi

    Brodi New Member

    I'm not sure about services. The only relatives that could help live several states away and they don't really know me. One of my uncles (mom's oldest brother) is going to be visiting next week, but she is refusing to tell him about it becuase my workaholic* dad has to fly out the day before my mom drives uncle to an airport an hour away (this uncle CHOSE that airport, his GFGness* is showing:mad:) and she is worried that he won't want her to drive him! So far only me and my dad know the situation. My mom is super paranoid about everything and buries herself daily in her newest obsession (computer coding).

    The future is my biggest fear. We live in a run down trailer we are renting from a man who calls himself a slum lord and has been arrested for various things and is under suspicion for the disappearance of an ex-wife, we have WAY too many animals (namely cats, my mom's main obsession, and we have four litter boxes in this small space), we are so isolated it is not even funny. I am desperate to move, but we don't have the money and my dad can't quit his job (who would hire a 60 year old man who is definitely somewhere on the spectrum?). He will retire in 6-7 years and then and only then can we move.

    *Both my dad and my (late) grandpa were total workaholics. My dad joined the army and didn't see me till I was several months old. I rarely saw him growing up, even after he retired from the army and got a "normal" job. At one point he forgot what grade I was in and another time he complained about feeling bored and useless when my mom was recovering from foot surgery! The man literaly cannot stand to NOT WORK! He has gotten other people sick because he refuses to call in sick, has moved as back and forth between two states (TX and OK) and even finds ways to work every time my uncle comes to visit. They get along great, it's just he can't to be idle.

    *Uncle is the oldest of 5 kids born to a type A personality school teacher who had a stroke in the 1980s and his wife, a homemaker/nurse/world traveler who we have suspicions of having had some form of mental illness (most likely depression), she died in 2010. Grandpa gave all the money to a church and the family barely scraped by, never had enough food, etc. difficult child Uncle is super smart and can talk is way into and out of everything, Vietnam included. His nickname is "Sir (uncle's name)" due to his high and mightiness at times.
  7. Brodi

    Brodi New Member

    She is never alone, since I can't drive I go where she goes. Next week we have a relative visiting so another set of eyes watching her.
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Brodi, is there any way you can work on getting a driver's license amidst all of this? It will really help you in the future. You have got to plan for your independence.
    And see if you can sneak a cat or two to the local shelter when your mom isn't looking. :) The idea is to cut down on your responsibilities, and ramp up on your independence.

    So ... what's your plan with your uncle? I say you've GOT to tell him. You cannot handle all this alone. Unless you just think he'll be a pain in the b*typical teen and won't help out at all ...
  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    How is she?
  10. Brodi

    Brodi New Member

    I have a liscense, but cannot drive. I have very little depth perception and visual spatial issues. It is WAY too dangerous for me to drive, I can't judge how close the other cars are to me and I can't judge how quick they are going. I literally walk into walls I can see. It has been determined that the brain damage caused it.

    I would love to sneak a cat or two to the shelter. We have 6 cats, 2 are mine and the rest are hers and my dads. My mom also manages a feral colony that it took me three years to talk her into getting them altered and vaccinated there a trap and release program. She was terrified that they would either run away or be "mad" at her. I think at times they take the place of children for her, I really don't know. Two of the indoor cats are older (around 10), while the rest are between 2 and 3 years old. We also have 4 dogs, 3 parakeets, 30 chickens and 3 goats.

    My mom talked to difficult child uncle today. She told him he would need to get a rental car (he has more points saved up then there are people on this planet) and filled him in on what is going on.

    She is doing well today. Though yesterday she had an "episode". While driving back with me from a doctors app I had in another town, her hands and feet started going numb and she had to pull over several times. The numbness went away and she then felt "wobbly" and her thinking was slowed. Later that night she was too nauses to be able to eat. She refused to go to the hospital.
  11. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Your mother is putting both of you and everyone else on the road at risk. Your mother should not be driving at all.
  12. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    If she is having mini-strokes, it is essential that she get medical attention immediately. She is at risk of having a major stroke, at any time. It could even happen when she is driving. She is not in control at this point - and the mini-strokes may already be affecting her thinking. Can your dad help get her to a doctor or emergency room?
  13. Brodi

    Brodi New Member

    When she had the episode on Friday my dad was not home (he was stuck in another city waiting for a flight ).

    I agree that it is dangerous when she drives, but neither of them see it that way. My dad thinks she is "fine" when she is not having an episode. Neither of them really understand. My dad does not appear to understand the magnitude of the situation, and just thinks life will go on b the same as always.

    I have be on to them for several years about the fact that they are getting older and won't live forever. For some reason they never planned for what would happen too me once they where gone, even after it was obvious I'd need help.
  14. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    You will be fine. Your case managers need to get involved now to prepare for the future. It is time for you to start moving in the direction of perhaps living in a supervised apartment situation. It will probably mean living in Austin or San Marcus. I think you would love it. there are lots of opportunities for supported education/training, making friends your age, and transportation.

    Right now, the concern should be for your mothers well being and everyone's safety.
  15. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member


    Wow, I am so sorry for your mom! She has so much to deal with.

    Maybe the uncle's visit could be a blessing?

    Your dad doesn't want to deal with the reality of the situation right now. Maybe it is just too much for him at this moment.

    if you have a private talk with your uncle about these issues, maybe he can help you to make some decisions.
  16. Brodi

    Brodi New Member

    I will try and talk with my uncle. He doesn't really know the extent if my issues. That side of the family has some communication issues.

    My dad can be really clueless about situations at times.
  17. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Hi Brodi,

    How are you doing?
  18. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Saying prayers for your mom and for you. Hang in there.
  19. Brodi

    Brodi New Member

    We took her to the ER on Thurs since the earliest the VA could get her in to get an MRI was Dec 11. She had been having small "episodes" Weds-Thurs and we didn't want to wait several more weeks. The ER doctor did blood work and a CT. All came back negative. doctor thinks she might have MS. She has an appointment with a civilian doctor on Tues.
  20. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member


    I am so sorry for what you are going through with your mom right now.

    Sending my prayers for her health and for your family.

    Don't get me started on the VA!

    I know exactly what you are going through with them, as my step-dad has been going through similar problems in getting care in the VA system. It Is a travesty.