They took away my license.

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Californiablonde, Jun 6, 2012.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I was dreading this. Was hoping this wouldn't happen. Got home Monday night and checked the mail. DMV sent me papers saying my license has been suspended from May 14th through November 14th. My mom had to drive me to dmv on Tuesday to apply for a restricted license. That set me back $120. From now on I am only allowed to drive to and from work and to my alcohol classes. I am not allowed to drop off or pick up my kids from school. I am not allowed to go to the grocery store and get food. I can't do anything.

    When I explained to the lady at dmv that I have kids and there are no buses that can pick them up and take them home, she gave me a number to call and said that maybe they would be able to help me. I called the number. The lady on the phone told me that the dmv person had no idea what she is talking about. There was nothing I could do about it and I am absolutely forbidden to take my kids to school. I asked her if there was anything else I could do. She said no, and told me I had some nerve asking her for help when I chose to drink and drive and get a dui. She started going off on me. Told me I obviously wasn't thinking about my kids when I was drinking and driving.

    I calmly explained to her that I didn't drink and drive. My doctor prescribed me a strong medication that did not agree with me and I got in an accident. She told me that I was even worse for taking drugs and driving. Told me I didn't care about my kids. Insinuated I was a drug addict. Then she hung up on me. Nice. I felt like a criminal. My boyfriend told me I should call back and complain to a supervisor, but my heart wasn't in it. I was hoping to come out of this dui without being judged but I had somebody who doesn't even know me judge me harshly. I am heartbroken over this.

    We do not have bus service to the school and back, so I am having to sneak and take the kids to school and pick them up from the boys and girls' club after school. I am hoping and praying I don't get caught. I don't know what the consequences are for driving on a suspended license. If I have to do jail time I am gonna lose it. I will lose my job and lose everything. I am in a constant state of panic right now because I'm scared to death I am going to get arrested. My current medications aren't helping. I am still suffering PTSD from my arrest and now it's worse. I can barely sleep because this is constantly on my mind 24/7. I feel like a prisoner in my own mind. I really hope my Prozac starts working quickly or I am in danger of losing everything...sigh.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Get a lawyer. There ARE legal ways around things, but it has to be somebody else fighting this for you.

    Do NOT - ever - drive without being within the rules. They WILL catch you. Neighbor was only suspended for 30 days, and only drove twice... and got caught. Lost his CAR. Plus no license for minimum 2 years.
  3. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Well since the kids' school is on my way to work, my mom thinks it will be okay. I'm not so sure. I will call my lawyer today and see if there is anything I can do. I really don't think there is since I already discussed this with him before the hearing, but we'll see.
  4. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    IC is right. The penalties for driving without a license are brutal. You will probably have your car impounded, sit in jail, and have to pay a hefty fine as well as probation and losing your license for a long time. The gov't frowns heavily on driving without a license and make it bad enough that the person will NEVER do it again. I am sorry the idiot judged you so harshly and that you're having to pay for a medication reaction. difficult child 1 is suffering legal consequences for the same reason and it is so completely not fair. I am sorry you are having to go through all this.
  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Do you have to drive them ALL the way to school?
    What I'm thinking is, can you stay on the straightest path between home and work, AND have a drop-off/pick-up spot there? And they can walk the last few blocks?
    Still wouldn't do that without talking to the lawyer...
  6. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Yikes! Sounds like a mess. I hope your doctor can educate the judge about medication reaction.
  7. buddy

    buddy New Member

    OH dear, I am so sorry for all of this. The strange lady on the phone has no clue. Frankly even if you had been drinking and driving she had no business saying anything or being so unprofessional. My sister had her license suspended for several months...with the work only restriction for a first offense. If TV is to be believed 1/8 people in our state have had a dui. You are certainly not alone. People make mistakes, not just drug addicts or alcoholics. And others have what happened to you...... So, you know in your heart you are not irresponsible nor an addict so let the nasty lady's comments go (I have been judged for Q's behavior and told I must be an awful parent to have a child like that etc....people are stupid).

    Such a harsh thing, I am really sorry. Check with your lawyer and any others that might do free consults and see what you can do....
  8. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Well I just spoke with my lawyer and he says there is nothing I can do to override what the dmv says. He did say it is HIGHLY unlikely than an officer is going to take me in for taking my kids to and from school on the way to work and back. In his twenty years, he's only seen a handful of people get busted for driving with a restricted license and in all the cases, the people were driving to and from bars late at night. He says the cops are basically making sure I am driving within a certain time frame. My alcohol classes are from six to eight and I if I am driving home from a class and stop to get myself something to eat at 8:15, it's still within the time frame allowable. I also have NA meetings I need to attend on weekends and I'm allowed to go to those too. My lawyer says I'm probably worrying for nothing. Both kids' schools are on my way to work and home, so hopefully if an officer stops me for any reason they would be understanding, as my lawyer says.

    Dropping the kids off and picking them up at their dads is another story. I won't be doing that anymore. He is going to be SO mad at me. He makes me drop them off at a meeting place half way between our houses on Friday, and on Sunday he makes me drive an hour and a half to pick them up at his house. I am afraid when I tell him about this that he is going to refuse to see the kids until this is all over. I wouldn't put it past him. I so totally need the break but I just know he is going to be an ass about this. There's no way getting around telling him about the suspended license. I'm afraid he is going to use it against me when he tries to take the kids away from me. Hopefully he changed his mind and is no longer planning on doing so. Right now I have no idea what is going on in his head, but I know he is going to be so very ****** off at me when he finds out. I am planning on telling him next week. I want to put it off as long as possible.

    Then there's the issue of summer. My last day of work here is June 29th. I am on vacation until September 1st. I will be stuck in the house with two difficult children for two months. No more park, beach, or movies. Thankfully my mom is offering to take us a few places, but even that will only be about once a week or so. I already feel trapped. So much for having a nice relaxing summer. Most of it will be spent doing my community service, going to my alcohol classes, and staying home with difficult children doing heaven knows what. Usually I look forward to summer every year but not this time. I just want to get it over with.
  9. buddy

    buddy New Member

    If you dont have the gas expense can you use a taxi twice weekly (or so) to go to a beach or activities?
  10. keista

    keista New Member


    I'm so sorry they did that.
    Please stop this negative thinking. If he refuses to see the kids you can use that against HIM! As long as you are following the law, the judged can't hold it against you. You break the law and concede to drive the kids halfway? That would be a problem.

    Sweetie, ((((HUGS)))) this guy did a number on you and you really have to turn your thinking around. Forget what he "can" or "might" do, think in terms of what he hasn't done and use it against him. My idiot thinks he's gonna get custody and/or get out of paying support. Doesn't realize that the General Magistrate on our case already considers him a complete deadbeat for everything he FAILS to DO.
  11. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Good idea buddy but the beach is far and I think the cab would be too expensive. I am on a very tight budget in summer and now it's even worse because I am paying $226 a month for these classes. Thankfully we have a pool so we can go swimming at least. My mom is offering to help out a little, too, God bless her heart.
  12. keista

    keista New Member

    Brilliant idea!
  13. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Because the ruling has already been made, it's likely that all you can do is follow the rules. Judges tend to be of the opinion that once a case has been ruled upon, the parties have had their day in court and there is no room for further evidence. In their opinion anything that could have been said should have been said that day. You don't want to put yourself in the position that the judge remembers you as someone who resisted his authority should there be any reason that you are before him again.

    I hope that your ex will be reasonable about the children. But I would be uber-careful to not do anything that could further jeopardize your driving privileges. If you want to stop for dinner, I would be absolutely certain that this was not a violation of the conditions of your suspension before you do it. Make arrangements with a shopping service to do your groceries. Find an activity within your neighborhood that will get you out of the house. But don't take any foolish chances!
  14. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Oh No!!! I'm so sorry about this. I agree that you shouldn't worry about your ex not seeing the kids. That would back fire on him if he went to court. Yes, he is going to be yucky about this. If it wasn't this he'd be yucky about something else. Its who he is.

    I'm sorry they are making this as difficult as possible, and that person you called needs her eyes opened by a few medication reactions of her own. Nothing else will change her mind. There is nothing you could've done differently to prevent this.
  15. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Despite my lawyer making me feel a lil bit better, I'm stressing about the drive home. Gotta do what I gotta do. My kids come first so I'm just going to drive extra careful and hope for the best.
  16. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I do think you are stressing way too much about this. Cops arent marking your car with a great big glow in the dark sign so they know you have a restricted license and they can be on the lookout for you.

    My son has had his license permanently suspended for as long as I can remember. This is Cory Im talking about. I know he got it right after he turned 18 then he got a seatbelt ticket and refused to pay it and it was over. He got tons of driving while suspended, driving while revoked, driving with no insurance, driving with fake tags, and then combo's of all above. I think he has spent a total of 2 months total in jail for all of that. And that is combined. Cory just got his first ticket for DWLR the other morning after not getting one in almost two years. He paid a bail and got out and was on his way to work in an hour.

    I think you can easily take your kids to school and back. Isnt your license called a provisional license? Actually go online for your state and read exactly what the rules are for that license. They cant tell you that you can only go to work from this time to this time if they arent saying that for everyone. I am more expecting it to say that the provisional license says you can only drive from X am to Ypm
  17. keista

    keista New Member

    Hmmmmmm. I had a restricted license once. I got pulled over exactly one time on it - by the cop that made me loose my license (small town). I was quite pleased to show him the paper giving me the restricted status. It was 4:30 in the morning and I was coming home from a bartending job.

    So, do you have a paper certifying where you are working? What proof are you to show a cop of your job or classes if you get pulled over? what if you get a part time job? Can you go get another "certification" of job?
  18. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Check with your town/village. Many know have vans or small buses that you can make an appointment to be driven anywhere in town. I think ours is $1.25/person.
  19. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    My temporary paper license has "may drive to and from course of employment and alcohol program" hand written on it. It doesn't specify a time frame, but my lawyer says that if an officer pulls me over, he is basically looking for what time of day/night it is and if it's likely that I have been driving to my restricted areas only. I don't know how to prove or disprove any of it. My classes are twice a week from six to eight and I work Monday through Friday from seven thirty to four. I also need to attend NA or AA meetings on weekends. I am going to my first NA meeting this Saturday. It is at a park and I am going to take the kids with me since I will be having them all this weekend. I was told that NA meetings are a part of my program so I will be allowed to drive there and back. I'm assuming that the officer will have to take me at my word if I get pulled over.
  20. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hey....can you go to MORE NA or AA meetings than just ones on the weekends? Like...say you need to go to the grocery store you can go to an AA meeting and stop at the grocery store on the way back! If you get stopped you just pull out that slip of paper showing you were at that meeting.

    Honestly I dont think they are going to be that strict. This is your first DUI I think right? I am astounded they actually did all this. Here it takes having at least 2 or more DUI's before you get more than a fine.