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Things are tough
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 704814" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>This is the exact think I struggle with. Except with marijuana.</p><p></p><p>I came to the point where I made it a condition that my son not use marijuana when he lived with me or a place I owned. This was impossible to enforce short of throwing him out, which we did.</p><p></p><p>This is the exact crux of the matter, that Tanya has put her finger on. And there is no right answer, for me. Do I insist as a condition of my support, that he live as I choose? Knowing that if I do insist this, that he will conceal the marijuana use, and lie to me?</p><p></p><p>Or do I keep the boundary, insisting that he live away from me, as he may? Because if I do this, he is proven thus far that he goes from place to place. He either falls back more, or makes meager gains.</p><p></p><p>With me, he really did get better. Became more stable, more hopeful, worked steadily for us, etcetera. I was happier, too. </p><p></p><p>With alcohol and soon, marijuana, with the legal legitimacy and cover that society gives, our dilemma is just that, a dilemma.</p><p></p><p>My concern TL is the loan of your car, because of potential liability for you, should somebody be injured or killed.</p><p></p><p>As far as living with us, while using, I do not know, for me. Because I do not want to force my son into deceiving me. Nor do I want to force my son into a rootless, desperate life, in order to win a battle only he controls.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 704814, member: 18958"] This is the exact think I struggle with. Except with marijuana. I came to the point where I made it a condition that my son not use marijuana when he lived with me or a place I owned. This was impossible to enforce short of throwing him out, which we did. This is the exact crux of the matter, that Tanya has put her finger on. And there is no right answer, for me. Do I insist as a condition of my support, that he live as I choose? Knowing that if I do insist this, that he will conceal the marijuana use, and lie to me? Or do I keep the boundary, insisting that he live away from me, as he may? Because if I do this, he is proven thus far that he goes from place to place. He either falls back more, or makes meager gains. With me, he really did get better. Became more stable, more hopeful, worked steadily for us, etcetera. I was happier, too. With alcohol and soon, marijuana, with the legal legitimacy and cover that society gives, our dilemma is just that, a dilemma. My concern TL is the loan of your car, because of potential liability for you, should somebody be injured or killed. As far as living with us, while using, I do not know, for me. Because I do not want to force my son into deceiving me. Nor do I want to force my son into a rootless, desperate life, in order to win a battle only he controls. [/QUOTE]
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