Things hard to impossible to ever get over

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by ForeverSpring, Apr 18, 2019.

  1. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Forgive, yes. Get over, no. Usually, if you were treated in an insensitive way, those who did so either justified it or did not even realize you were hurt. Or didn't care. Some hard issues are acts of God.

    Here is my short list. I am just reflecting on this right now.

    Death of a loved one, especially if earlier than expected

    A violent crime against you or a loved one.

    A person who should love you not loving you, like a parent. Or someone you love very much romantically not loving you back. These can both break your heart.

    Being disinherited from a family member as a last kiss off to you and the other family members not expressing empathy or offering pictures and/or momentos that the person had that may mean way more to you than any money. This is something impossible to forget, and a bit hard to forgive. But it can be done. Time heals to a certain point. This however tears families apart. One last mean kick from the grave and others not being sensitive is very hard. Nothing in such a family can ever be quite the same unless the others do step in to offer hugs and comfort. One may well never want to see those people again even though you forgive them.

    Any degree of physical, sexual or emotional abuse from anybody. Brutal. Hard. So sad.

    Invalidation of what you say about yourself and your experiences. It hurts but can be understandable. Nobody else really sees or knows everything that happens in our lives. It is OUR story and only we know the details. It is frustrating when others write our story for us, but it is understandable. Still, it is hard being called a liar yet still having any relationship with the person who insists we are wrong about what we experienced. We know. So usually the relationship doesn't survive.

    Infidelity, I imagine. Sounds like such a betrayal from the one whom you promised to cherish to God.

    I cant think of any others right now. I am just musing out loud. If you want to add to the list, go ahead. If not, this was for me. I was simply thinking. No anger involved. No deep sadness. Why do people even treat others this way and not even offer an apology.

    The best way to overcome anything is to have a good life, a loving spouse and children who still drop over a lot as adults, fun activities and happiness. Usually people who are not treated well, work hard to end up with the best things in life. Often those who were insensitive do not end up as happy. As blessed. I believe karma is real.

    If people treat you badly, they will treat others badly as well. They may not even know they are doing so to you or others. They probably think they are nice. Few think they are not nice.

    Thanks for this place.
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2019
  2. BusynMember

    BusynMember Member

    All of these are good.

    I have trouble forgiving drug dealers.
     
  3. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    Yes, all of these are good.

    I guess more specific to me...
    Early death of a loved one
    tops the list.
    (Very close to impossible to get over...but not truly impossible)

    Lately, I have struggled with trying to cope with people who are jealous of me and act unkindly. I have posted about this. People I thought were friends. After decades of great difficulty, when things are better for me , they resent it. Why aren’t they happy for me? Or at least neutral?
    I didn’t realize they almost enjoyed my problems with my difficult child.
    It made them feel superior. Ugh.
    I’m having some difficulty with this.
    Is jealousy just part of the human condition?
    I ended up putting some separation and boundaries between me and these people. Yay! I know how to do that!

    And we do try to have a good life! Yes, this is healthy and important. Not particularly for revenge...it’s just the right thing to do as life is precious and a blessing.