Things people do that annoy you or you find gross

[Lil]

At the risk of further tuning this into a "to tip or not to tip" thread, I agree with SWOT, there are times that servers are simply crazy overworked! I remember having all the other servers call in, being literally the only waitress for a restaurant with 20 tables, and the assistant cook running out to bus tables I was so slammed. Did everyone get good service? I guarantee you they didn't, but I did my best under the circumstances. Those times happen and I definitely deserved more than my lousy $2 an hour or whatever it was that I was getting.

It's not up to patrons of restaurants to subsidize the wages of table servers, so restaurants can enjoy the profit.

Actually, in the USA, it IS and it will remain the patron's tips that enable servers to pay their rent and feed their families until such time as the law changes.

Out of curiosity, have you ever worked as a waitress?

 

[Pink Elephant]

Lil. Everyone, and I do mean everyone at the restaurants we were at when they were crazy busy were served with the very same impeccable style that we were. We watched in awe at how some servers have what seems to be a natural knack at covering a magnitude of tables and needs at once. Kudos to those in the service industry.

I'm happy there are patrons like you and SOT, who, even when provided with poor or sub-standard service, remain committed to unloading your purses.

 

[Lil]

I sure get good service when I go to aa restaurant. The servers remember that Im friendly, easygoing and tip well. So it helps all of us.

You know I have a good friend who is a very demanding patron. She wants things exactly so, this and that removed from the dish, things on the side, food served piping (like scald your mouth) hot, regardless of the order it has to be brought in for that to happen.

And she's very, very nice and sweet to servers, remembers their names, smiles and flatters and, more importantly, TIPS like CRAZY for really good service. As a result, the servers remember her, remember her preferences, and service gets even better. I love going out to eat with her. Bad service? She'll still tip, albeit less, and NEVER sit in that person's section again. Their loss.

 

[Jabberwockey]

The F-Bomb among younger people has become chronic. I see it having a low IQ... little to no education... or a cognisant deficiency related to ones conduct and structure outside of their immediate class or circle.

Not necessarily. I freely admit to having a problem with dropping the f bomb a lot. I could use the excuse that I was in the military or I work in a prison but the fact of the matter is, there are a ton of people with those exact same circumstances who cuss very little if at all. I'm trying to curb this but old habits die hard.

 

[Lil]

Not necessarily. I freely admit to having a problem with dropping the f bomb a lot. I could use the excuse that I was in the military or I work in a prison but the fact of the matter is, there are a ton of people with those exact same circumstances who cuss very little if at all. I'm trying to curb this but old habits die hard.

Yeah...I worked with a lawyer once (when we were both fairly fresh out of school) who dropped the F word in what seemed like every sentence. It was just a frat-boy habit that he had trouble outgrowing; kind of unconscious.

 

[Jabberwockey]

I think it shows bad character.

Sometimes its simply a lack of understanding. I was a poor tipper until Lil explained why I should tip. I've worked in food service for years but it was always fast food so didn't realize how little they were actually paid.

 

[Pink Elephant]

I've never heard of sections before. Here, in our neck of the woods when you sit down in a restaurant, you're served by whoever you get. Sure, if dear husband and I, visited a regular restaurant and enjoyed the same server, time and time again, and the server provided us with top-notch service on each and every occasion we were there, then she or he would be rewarded, and standing firm and committed to my earlier posts related to not tipping, the very same server would also enjoy zero tips from dear husband and I, for poor service.

I wonder what sort of lesson or lessons are learned by tipping people and rewarding them monetarily for sub-standard service? What sort of message does that send to a worker as far as how dedicated they should be or not be to please? In turn, I wonder what sort of work ethics this would instill upon a younger generation worker, to be rewarded for putting in the least amount of effort?

No. I stand strong in my beliefs and will not, have not, and will never reward anyone for a job poorly done. That just isn't reality in my world and it isn't my speed.

 

[AppleCori]

I didn’t mean to start trouble, guys, really.

I didn’t realize that I said anything controversial! I usually think that everyone agrees with me, other than a few ex-mils....

 

[Pink Elephant]

I didn’t mean to start trouble, guys, really.

I didn’t realize that I said anything controversial! I usually think that everyone agrees with me, other than a few ex-mils....

You've lost me, Apple. What's wrong with having a discussion related to the matter and airing how we all feel about something?

So far everyone has expressed their take on the issue, and from everything I see, everyone's knickers are still straight.

 

[AppleCori]

You've lost me, Apple. What's wrong with having a discussion related to the matter and airing how we all feel about something?

So far everyone has expressed their take on the issue, and from everything I see, everyone's knickers are still straight.

Sorry, just trying to make a joke, Pink.

It’s really not my forte.......

 

[AppleCori]

To be clear, I am not talking about tipping well for bad service, but tipping badly no matter how the service was.

Those are two different issues.

 

[Lil]

No. I stand strong in my beliefs and will not, have not, and will never reward anyone for a job poorly done. That just isn't reality in my world and it isn't my speed.

We'll have to agree to disagree. I also stand by my belief that anyone who's actually worked as a server would be unlikely to stiff someone serving them, absent some type of outright rudeness or outrageous behavior. After all, you never know what's going on in their lives. Maybe they've gotten some bad news. Maybe they aren't feeling well. Maybe their baby kept them up all night and they're bone-tired and barely making it through their shift. But the wages they are paid are abysmal. The mere fact they take my order and bring me my food and drink are enough to merit something in my opinion. Despite the name, a gratuity or tip isn't for exceptional service in this country, it's part of their wages, otherwise they couldn't live.

To be clear, I am not talking about tipping well for bad service, but tipping badly no matter how the service was.

Those are two different issues.

Yes, those are two entirely different things.

 

[BusynMember]

The U.S. should do MANY things that other countries do, but we are who we are...lagging behind in many areas. People like Lil and I help servers make it. Soon jobs like cashiers, servers and maybe even cooks wont exist much. We may miss them. Cashiers are already vanishing.

Sit down restaurants with personal service are going the way of department stores as millenials dont like them unless they are unique and have quality food. Otherwise they prefer ordering online and pick ups. Restaurants like Applebees and the Cheesecake Factory and Chilis are struggling and many restaurants are closing. I learned this when I worked at Applebees. Restaurants want to draw in millenials as they are a huge population and they are not like we were. Chain restaurants are not doing well. Look it up. I did. Applebees is trying to update. I know many have shut down.

The restaurant industry is not easy for management or employees. It attracts people of all ages who do not have high educations and most restaurant managers are generous about giving people who messed up a second chance, even if they were in jail. But turnover is huge. Training is a biotch. I had to train. They rush people before they learn due not liking to pay for training (expensive). They get a lot of undertrained employees.

I can understand the appeal of less employees and machines instead of cashiers. I really can. And servers will be competing with pick up orders soon.

The customers can be trying as well. There is the not so odd person who brings in a kid with no shoes on....icky....and one lady let the barefooted kid dance on the table by the adults food. She held the childs hands while the little girl danced on the table next to the food. Couldnt have helped anyones appetite!

That was both horrifying and amusing to see. And the managers were so afraid to offend the customers that they didnt tell her to get the two year old off the table. Ick. Double ick!

Most others who brought in barefooted kids didnt do that but it is still unhealthy to bring in kids without socks or shoes. So this would be another pet peeve of mine.If dining with a child, please put something clean on their feet and dont let them dance on the table.

Soon nobody will have a tipping choice. The chain restsurants are folding and high end restaurants include your tip in the cost, like it or not. Other options: fast food, eat at home.

 

[Pink Elephant]

The servers dont thi k of you as educating nor do most.

When a lesson is taught, I look at that as being education, and education falls under two categories, positive education, and negative education. In the matter of receiving a poor tip, a wise server, as in one who appreciates tip monies, would take the lesson of receiving a low tip or no tip at all, as a lesson in education, where they would learn to pull-up their socks and provide better service next time. Education is a wonderful thing, and while most learn from education, there still exists a percentage who don't, and the ones who don't are the most often the ones we see in the real world that fail to succeed.

So, whether or not a server thinks of dear husband and I, as being educated or educating, is strictly up to them, but one thing is for certain, when it comes to spending our hard-earned money, you can bet your bottom dollar (pardon the pun), that when a server fails to provide dear husband and I, with commendable service, we'll be sure to educate them to the fullest.

Good service equals a tip ... poor service equals no tip . If that isn't a lesson in education, then I don't know what is. To all the servers out there who may be reading this, read into my words what you wish.

 

[BusynMember]

Pink, nobody will think you taught them a lesson (sigh). Servers will just move on and forget. Trust me. I was back there with them...they chalk it up to "whatever" and busily move on. One guest doesnt have that power.....not you, not me, not anyone. Often the server feels she did a good job and the patron was just cheap and everyone moves on fast. No time to ponder the why of it.

Anyhow maybe in Canada you treat your servers better. We treat ours like crap. That is one reason they will cease to exist. In the U.S. many people can make more frying burgers at McDs.

And there ARE restaurant sections. I bet you have them too. The host, that was me, alternated sections. If i sat my first guest in section 1, then the next people were sat in section 2. Each section had a different server. I didnt know about sections until I got hired and had to seat by sections. The next server was the one in the next designated section. But sections changed every night.

Example: Susie could be Server 1, a very desirable section, on Friday night and then Susie could come to work the next night and find that she has Section 5, a very hated section.

Why the difference,?

Section 1 is mostly booths. 90 percent of the guests want a booth. It is also close to the bar and closest to the TVs where the games are on. Applebees is a sports bar and grill.

Section 5 has only two booths and a bunch of tables that few like. If a guest is due to go to Section 5, but both booths are taken and the guest wont sit at a table, which hapoens often, then Server 5 is skipped snd the guest sits at a booth in Section 6, and does not ever see Susue because Bob has Section 6.

To overseat one server, which can happen by default, means worse service. On very busy days, like Mothers Day, never expect the quick service you normally get as it is the busiest eating out day of the year. The more guests, the harder it is for the kitchen to cook good, hot meals fast for all. The servers often get blamed because the kichen is backed up due to mega orders. This is not within the servers control and cooks make more money than servers but the server gets blamed for poor cooking or cold food.

Thats when Applebees would do a waiting list. And nobody liked that AT ALL, except me It slowed things down. (I suspect only the guests disliked a waiting list).

 

[Lil]

To overseat one server, which can happen by default, means worse service. On very busy days, like Mothers Day, never expect the quick service you normally get as it is the busiest eating out day of the year. The more guests, the harder it is for the kitchen to cook good, hot meals fast for all. The servers often get blamed because the kichen is backed up due to mega orders. This is not within the servers control and cooks make more money than servers but the server gets blamed for poor cooking or cold food.

Oh I HATE that servers get blamed for slow service. They aren't the ones cooking! But everyone blames them. I remember once when we were slammed and I was the only server again (keep in mind I was like 20 years old and working for a family friend's smallish restaurant) and a woman ordered the catfish. It was frozen in a block of ice. The cooks tried and tried to thaw the darn thing and it just took forever! Finally after about 1/2 an hour I had to tell the lady that the fish was still frozen and due to a problem in the kitchen, it would easily be another 1/2 hour. I recommended she change her order and mentioned we had very good shrimp. She snarkily said, "Well they're probably frozen too." I had run and run serving people and I was tired and the kitchen was backed up and I just kind of snapped, "Lady, How the Hell else are you going to get shrimp in Missouri?!" She ordered a cheeseburger and tipped me better than 50%. LOL!

I worked as a hostess too, and waitresses will get SO mad if they feel you are passing their section. I remember one having an absolute FIT because the other got all the tables. Well, her section was the smoking section! It wasn't MY fault we had a bunch of non-smokers come in. What was I supposed to do, force them to smoke?

 

[BusynMember]

Haha. None if the servers were snappish to me. The boss kind of put me in charge plus I was a mama bear to the young hosts. If I saw a server picking on a young host....they dealt with me. I loathed when they did that. For some reason, most of the servers respected me and would stop the Mean Girls if I spoke to them. I did get it sometimes but I knew how to deal with the servers...but at 20... Yeah, you would get yelled at.

The job finally got to me and I decided not to do it anymore. It didnt help that I worked every Thursday, Friday and Saturday late night. Its always a hard job. And for peanuts?

I miss my co workers, who were mistly kuds I learned to love, warts and all, and hug then whenever I run into them. I miss most of the guests too. Sone were e deari g regulars, like the 101 year old who always sat at the same little corner table. And the group of boys who made me their honorary grandma.

But I am not sorry I quit.

 

[Pink Elephant]

Pink, nobody will think you taught them a lesson (sigh). Servers will just move on and forget. Trust me. I was back there with them...they chalk it up to "whatever" and busily move on. One guest doesnt have that power.....not you, not me, not anyone. Often the server feels she did a good job and the patron was just cheap and everyone moves on fast. No time to ponder the why of it.

Our world is full of slow learners, SOT. When dear husband and I visit the same restaurant and we see a new wave of servers that have replaced many of the old servers we were familiar with, I see those old servers as people who failed to make it in the industry, servers who didn't get the drift that, if you hustle and treat your patrons as if they're number one, you will be rewarded.

I'm about done hum-drumming the intricacies of all this, but there are many aspects that apply to being a good server and enjoying success, and if you are good at what you do, have a strong patron following, and know your job well, I believe you'll do well, and it is those long-time servers that tend to excel at their jobs that patrons all get to know, because they become fixtures in the industry. They don't have time for excuses. When it's crazy busy, they perform, and at the end of the night their purses reflect success. Sure, all servers will win some and lose some, but overall, the servers that we personally know who are successful as far as enjoying good tips, know their job, and do their job. That's the bottom-line.

As a side-note to this conversation, we, as of last year, quit patronizing a local, well-known, well-established restaurant, because of poor service, poor food, and a sense that patrons didn't matter. We will not go back again, ever. The servers had attitude (young ones), and the owner was out of touch with his patrons needs and concerns. The perfect recipe (pardon the pun) for failure.

 

[BusynMember]

I just dont think it matters if someone is the best. I chose to be a stay at home mom and had many part time jobs in between. I worked hard at all I did, but didnt see driving myself nuts to be a #1 as a way to live. Not for me, at least. I like to smell the flowers one at a time and enjoy them. Being the fastest, hardest driving and maybe therefore best at anything is not a goal of mine. Never was. I try hard but I wont let go of that enjoyment of the simple, smaller, nicer things in life for any job.

I have certain places I like to eat and some not so much. All of us have our own preferences. In my case I like a cozy warm atmosphere and if a place is too busy or expensive I wont be drawn to it. It has luttle to do with servers. I always get my meals.

If I stop going simewhere I dont think that the establishment cares. I am one person. They can afford to lose me.

I do not look down at slower learners nor do I look up to people in Mensa. I judge people by their hearts. I guess thats a form of judging. I care more about the kindness of a heart than anything else. I am not so brilliant, perfect, or successful in school or work to look down at somebody else.

I once stressed about things like that. I wasnt very happy. I like to take life one day at a time, smile at others, drink coffee, pet my dogs and enjoy nature. I do not want to spend my time fighting and stressed or worrying about if others are working up to my standards. Or if I am enough or have enough for others to admire. Or if they have enough for me to admire. The truth is, I dont give a fug about what others have or do. Its not my life. Its not my business.

So again we are very different and we are not better or worse than one another.

I am VERY spiritual (which is not the same at all as religious) but my values are guided more by the wisdom I find, say, in Buddha than in the rat race....I dont look at myself or others as better or worse, smarter or not as smart. I think animals are equal to people in importance. I dont pay attention much to things I cant control. I have a gratitude journal and focus on the positive.

And I am very happy and content. Only one person I can control in this lifetime and that is me. I am telling my story, Pink, but I would never try to change you even if I could. You are amazing, funny and we need diversity of thought or life would be very boring. I am honored to know you

 

[AnnieO]

This whole thread has fascinated me. I honestly think servers should earn a livable wage and tipping should be banished. That said, I will tip according to service - and if it's the kitchen that's the problem, it still affects the tip (though not my treatment of the server), because many places require the servers to share tips with the kitchen personnel!

Breastfeeding. I don't mind if it is done in public if it's discreet. Hang your boobs out for the world to see, and it's distasteful (and disrespectful). I never could... Too self-conscious. However, I will NOT EVER tell a breastfeeding mother to feed her child in the bathroom. Ewww. Diapers? Change 'em out of sight. NOT on tables or booths. I once changed Rose in a Waffle House bathroom, on the little triangular shelf, because the floor was not an option for us - I then asked the server for disinfectant and cleaned it.