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Thinking about the collateral damage
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 633260" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>dstc, among easy child kids, it is normal to bond and be interactive with your mom. Don't give up on her because of your experience with difficult child. My easy child was EXTREMELY close to me until the middle of her junior year. Even now, though, we are emotionally close and never leave each other with saying "Love you" and we hug. A difficult child is not the example of a "normal" teenager. They are all different. Jumper and I used to have Mom/Daughter dates...Sundays out to eat. We still do girl time sometimes and she is eighteen.</p><p>Most of of Jumper's friends are close to their mothers. Some have problems with them, but most are ok with them even though the teens sometimes think we are hopeless...lol. You do need to set boundaries with your easy child. Like with my other kids, Jumper was not allowed to be disrespectful. She was allowed to speak her mind, about anything, but s he had to do it in a respectful way. An angry tone was ok, but not mean words. Because she was responsible, we gave her far more latitude about w hat she could and couldn't do than we gave our difficult children. Each kid is different. "All" teens are not the same. Take your own easy child's lead and follow her <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> If she is needy but nice to you, frankly, I'd give her all the attention she wants. If you have trouble doing that, maybe it is you who need therapy to see why you feel uncomfortable. This suggestion is NOT meant to be an insult...I have been in therapy since age 23, and I think I had some form of attachment disorder early on (along with all my other 100 diagnosis...lol) because, seriously, my parents were not nice to me and I was afraid to bond with most people. Sometimes that even happens with your kid. My mom never bonded with me. (((Hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 633260, member: 1550"] dstc, among easy child kids, it is normal to bond and be interactive with your mom. Don't give up on her because of your experience with difficult child. My easy child was EXTREMELY close to me until the middle of her junior year. Even now, though, we are emotionally close and never leave each other with saying "Love you" and we hug. A difficult child is not the example of a "normal" teenager. They are all different. Jumper and I used to have Mom/Daughter dates...Sundays out to eat. We still do girl time sometimes and she is eighteen. Most of of Jumper's friends are close to their mothers. Some have problems with them, but most are ok with them even though the teens sometimes think we are hopeless...lol. You do need to set boundaries with your easy child. Like with my other kids, Jumper was not allowed to be disrespectful. She was allowed to speak her mind, about anything, but s he had to do it in a respectful way. An angry tone was ok, but not mean words. Because she was responsible, we gave her far more latitude about w hat she could and couldn't do than we gave our difficult children. Each kid is different. "All" teens are not the same. Take your own easy child's lead and follow her :) If she is needy but nice to you, frankly, I'd give her all the attention she wants. If you have trouble doing that, maybe it is you who need therapy to see why you feel uncomfortable. This suggestion is NOT meant to be an insult...I have been in therapy since age 23, and I think I had some form of attachment disorder early on (along with all my other 100 diagnosis...lol) because, seriously, my parents were not nice to me and I was afraid to bond with most people. Sometimes that even happens with your kid. My mom never bonded with me. (((Hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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