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<blockquote data-quote="Nature" data-source="post: 689038" data-attributes="member: 19011"><p>Thank You! To each and all that took the time to post and offer words of support.</p><p></p><p>My sister's brain scan turned out negative so that's positive news that cancer hasn't spread to her brain. I joked about it and told her "if I was asked I would have told the doctors you always think like that" and we both burst out laughing. </p><p></p><p>My son's court date resulted being rescheduled for another 2 wks ( I receive calls from a Victim Assistance Program for updates). I didn't place monies on his books.</p><p></p><p>I placed two of my sisters dogs in a kennel temporarily and brought the eldest one to the vet (they suspect the dog has cancer) and then brought her to my home. I haven't told my sister yet about her dog. I paid for the the dogs medical treatment. I also found someone to feed the other animals when I'm at work and unable to make the drive to and fro her place. I am returning to my sisters home this weekend to clean and perhaps paint if I have the energy and working hard it prevents me from thinking too much. I sleep because I'm exhausted. Hopefully, the house will be clean and nice should my sister be released from the hospital. I do have a partner and he's been supportive but unable to go up there with me as someone needs to be at home with our own animals. Unfortunately he's been called to work many times on weekends as I had to cut back on my own work hours and he's had to pick up hours. There are no other family members as he and I are the only ones. His family is in Europe and my core family only consist of my Mom, brother, sister and I as well as my two sons.</p><p></p><p>Yes, my brother the hoarder who as a result of his obsession has caused my mother to lose the family home. He's had drug issues too since his youth and became a hoarder in his later years. I have tried for years to intervene but my mother always enabled my brother and refused help. Even when the city has sent in crews to clean up and billed my mother who lives on disability pension she allowed him to stay in her home. It breaks my heart. Currently my mother was staying at my sisters home as the bank pulled her reverse mortgage and asked for repayment which she is unable to do. The fire marshall cancelled the fire insurance. As a result my mom can't pay back the bank as she expected the bank to recall that loan when she passed and because of that she will lose her home. It's a huge mess. My sister is executor and is unable and was always unwilling to deal with my brother. When I've tried to intervene my mom saw it as meddling and would cause family strive. I also see my mom is ignoring those bills and is now concentrating on my sister and I'm worried about her own declining health. She is unable to really "help" my sister but at least they had each other for comfort. I was going there several times a week to prepare a weeks worth of meals, take care of her animals and clean the house. When I was cleaning her floors and lifted up one of the rugs I saw my mother had swept all the dirt underneath them. In her declining mental capacities she literally is " sweeping the dirt under the rugs". She is also in denial when it comes to her home and just like my sister is ignoring it.</p><p> Perhaps this is one of the reasons why I "got it" when it came to enabling my own son as I saw what my own future held if I didn't stop enabling. I can't say I'm always 100% on this point as I backtrack and question myself at times but I do understand the dynamics now of the damage of enabling. I can only assist my mom now and offer her a place with me as I have in the past should something happen to my sister. I'm doing the best I can under the circumstances. </p><p></p><p>My other son whom has Aspergers had a 2 hr meeting with his bosses and members of his union yesterday and was told they are going to make a decision in a few days. He has always refused to self advocate and absolutely refused to tell them he has Aspergers although they must suspect it? I couldn't convince him otherwise so it's now waiting a few more heart wrenching days of not knowing. I pray for a positive outcome. They asked him to take classes ( I suspect anger management?) on a condition which he agreed to but they still are going to decide if that is what they are going to do or fire him. He's never known any other job and has been with them for 16 years so I'm worried the effect it will have on him if it's not a positive outcome.</p><p></p><p>But there's that double rainbow! I do think then perhaps it's a sign from somewhere informing me of new beginnings after a storm has passed. (PS thank you for posting that info my friend) Trying to stay positive in spite of all the turmoil. Thank you again everyone for your support and kind words.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nature, post: 689038, member: 19011"] Thank You! To each and all that took the time to post and offer words of support. My sister's brain scan turned out negative so that's positive news that cancer hasn't spread to her brain. I joked about it and told her "if I was asked I would have told the doctors you always think like that" and we both burst out laughing. My son's court date resulted being rescheduled for another 2 wks ( I receive calls from a Victim Assistance Program for updates). I didn't place monies on his books. I placed two of my sisters dogs in a kennel temporarily and brought the eldest one to the vet (they suspect the dog has cancer) and then brought her to my home. I haven't told my sister yet about her dog. I paid for the the dogs medical treatment. I also found someone to feed the other animals when I'm at work and unable to make the drive to and fro her place. I am returning to my sisters home this weekend to clean and perhaps paint if I have the energy and working hard it prevents me from thinking too much. I sleep because I'm exhausted. Hopefully, the house will be clean and nice should my sister be released from the hospital. I do have a partner and he's been supportive but unable to go up there with me as someone needs to be at home with our own animals. Unfortunately he's been called to work many times on weekends as I had to cut back on my own work hours and he's had to pick up hours. There are no other family members as he and I are the only ones. His family is in Europe and my core family only consist of my Mom, brother, sister and I as well as my two sons. Yes, my brother the hoarder who as a result of his obsession has caused my mother to lose the family home. He's had drug issues too since his youth and became a hoarder in his later years. I have tried for years to intervene but my mother always enabled my brother and refused help. Even when the city has sent in crews to clean up and billed my mother who lives on disability pension she allowed him to stay in her home. It breaks my heart. Currently my mother was staying at my sisters home as the bank pulled her reverse mortgage and asked for repayment which she is unable to do. The fire marshall cancelled the fire insurance. As a result my mom can't pay back the bank as she expected the bank to recall that loan when she passed and because of that she will lose her home. It's a huge mess. My sister is executor and is unable and was always unwilling to deal with my brother. When I've tried to intervene my mom saw it as meddling and would cause family strive. I also see my mom is ignoring those bills and is now concentrating on my sister and I'm worried about her own declining health. She is unable to really "help" my sister but at least they had each other for comfort. I was going there several times a week to prepare a weeks worth of meals, take care of her animals and clean the house. When I was cleaning her floors and lifted up one of the rugs I saw my mother had swept all the dirt underneath them. In her declining mental capacities she literally is " sweeping the dirt under the rugs". She is also in denial when it comes to her home and just like my sister is ignoring it. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why I "got it" when it came to enabling my own son as I saw what my own future held if I didn't stop enabling. I can't say I'm always 100% on this point as I backtrack and question myself at times but I do understand the dynamics now of the damage of enabling. I can only assist my mom now and offer her a place with me as I have in the past should something happen to my sister. I'm doing the best I can under the circumstances. My other son whom has Aspergers had a 2 hr meeting with his bosses and members of his union yesterday and was told they are going to make a decision in a few days. He has always refused to self advocate and absolutely refused to tell them he has Aspergers although they must suspect it? I couldn't convince him otherwise so it's now waiting a few more heart wrenching days of not knowing. I pray for a positive outcome. They asked him to take classes ( I suspect anger management?) on a condition which he agreed to but they still are going to decide if that is what they are going to do or fire him. He's never known any other job and has been with them for 16 years so I'm worried the effect it will have on him if it's not a positive outcome. But there's that double rainbow! I do think then perhaps it's a sign from somewhere informing me of new beginnings after a storm has passed. (PS thank you for posting that info my friend) Trying to stay positive in spite of all the turmoil. Thank you again everyone for your support and kind words. [/QUOTE]
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