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Third time is NOT the charm
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 694002" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi Denise, I am so sorry that your son did not use the chances you have given him to better his life. I found through the many many chances we gave our two that they just did not make an effort to change, ended up dragging the household into the chaos of their lives. Seems that we were just a "watering hole" for them to kick their feet up and have a staycation from life. Out on their own, they have to learn to fend for themselves and make it work, or not. Needless to say, we will not be around forever to "rescue" them, the sooner they learn to be self sufficient, the better.</p><p> Feel what you have to feel and <em>get it out</em>. It is better than stuffing it down and going numb, it will find a way to surface.</p><p>It is a grieving we go through with all of the stages.</p><p> Yes, yes, yes. Time to get on with your life. You matter.</p><p> We have no control over what our d cs do, whether they are in our homes or not. Those chances you gave your son are proof of it.</p><p> I like this idea, D, it is what I use as well. It reminds me of the Victor Frankl talk, to become an idealist, to project in our minds the best possibility for our d cs. It goes hand in hand with the power of thoughts and words. Now, when I talk with my two, I tell them that I know they can make the best out of this life, they have the skills, the brains to achieve. No mention of drugs or rehab. Keeping this in my mind helps me to live my life. I don't want to be stuck in the muck and mire of what their choices are. It is not just a fantasy, but a positive possibility........</p><p>Hang in there D. You and your husband have done the the work, instilling values and life lessons, now it is up to your son to use that knowledge and move forward. You have given him that opportunity to prove himself by "liberating" him, setting him free to find his purpose.</p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 694002, member: 19522"] Hi Denise, I am so sorry that your son did not use the chances you have given him to better his life. I found through the many many chances we gave our two that they just did not make an effort to change, ended up dragging the household into the chaos of their lives. Seems that we were just a "watering hole" for them to kick their feet up and have a staycation from life. Out on their own, they have to learn to fend for themselves and make it work, or not. Needless to say, we will not be around forever to "rescue" them, the sooner they learn to be self sufficient, the better. Feel what you have to feel and [I]get it out[/I]. It is better than stuffing it down and going numb, it will find a way to surface. It is a grieving we go through with all of the stages. Yes, yes, yes. Time to get on with your life. You matter. We have no control over what our d cs do, whether they are in our homes or not. Those chances you gave your son are proof of it. I like this idea, D, it is what I use as well. It reminds me of the Victor Frankl talk, to become an idealist, to project in our minds the best possibility for our d cs. It goes hand in hand with the power of thoughts and words. Now, when I talk with my two, I tell them that I know they can make the best out of this life, they have the skills, the brains to achieve. No mention of drugs or rehab. Keeping this in my mind helps me to live my life. I don't want to be stuck in the muck and mire of what their choices are. It is not just a fantasy, but a positive possibility........ Hang in there D. You and your husband have done the the work, instilling values and life lessons, now it is up to your son to use that knowledge and move forward. You have given him that opportunity to prove himself by "liberating" him, setting him free to find his purpose. (((HUGS))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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Third time is NOT the charm
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