This day can end.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Shari, Nov 12, 2008.

  1. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Picked difficult child up from school, spoke with the director. She wasn't happy that I was called when all this was taking place, but most of the staff has never seen him like that, and it sounds like he was every bit as manic as he was yesterday at BT, but shorter lived. The teacher who called said he wasn't welcome to stay after instruction, and the director wasn't happy about that, but again, she's not the one that deals with him during that time, so... But she's still willing to work with him. The teacher he slapped did not seem nearly as upset as the teacher that called me and the parent of the child he yanked on. Director will be talking to the other teacher that belittled him yesterday - she beleives it happened.
    I talked with the school director and then we both talked briefly with difficult child. He was sorry, he said his brain just tells him to be wild, and he tries to say no, but he can't.
    Later, at home, impulse control was noticibly less, but otherwise he was ok, so I didn't make a big issue of it. We burnt leaves, then put some wood on the fire for hotdogs. Standing by the fire, he said "Mom, will you kill me?" Of course, I said "no, why would I want to do that!?!?" He said "Because I'm so bad. I'm a bad, bad boy and I don't want to live like this."
    He's chewing on his shirts again as of the past 3 days, so tomorrow, I will dig out the Crocs, the chew necklace, ande plan for him to only attend a half day, as the teacher he doesn't like will be back tomorrow, and I can't fathom what kind of explosion that might bring on. Will try to set up another meeting with the director - in my humble opinion, he MUST be kept away from the other teacher, no matter what it takes. Regardless of how she changes, I think it will take a long, long time for his perception of her to change, and they are gas and fire together.
    I have asked BT to write up the 2 incidents and express how she beleives they are connected. In-home has been in touch, as well, tho she is out of town.
  2. Jena

    Jena New Member


    You have had a rough week. I"m glad he was calmer when you returned home, yet I"m sorry that he said what he did in regards to how he is feeling as of late.

    I agree with you he can't be around that other teacher, the one that handled herself like a A-HOLE yesterday at all, it'll just trigger him again.

    So, a meeting with the director sounds like a good idea. Do you think it's linked his behavior today and yesterday to that teacher? Sounds to me as if it could very well be.

    So, how will he handle a half day tomorrow? Will he ask why?

    Wow, i'm sorry you have had a rough few days. Just keep deep breathing, and get some well needed rest tonight. Is he still on the medications you have listed in sig??
  3. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Oh this sounds like such a drag.
    We are cutting some of N's days in half due to anxiety. Though she is only in pre-school.
    Tonight she asked me about me and husband dying... she is spinning again and climbing on us more... lots of those things as well.
    I wish it was easier for the poor kid. and you!
  4. lizzie09

    lizzie09 lizzie

    When my difficult child was in school we had lots of bust ups with one particular teacher. In my opinion she found difficult child scary at the best of times and her vibes rubbed off on him causing blow ups. She had no idea how to handle him.
    Some teachers are not good with our type of kids and overall are quite frightened of a child that exhibits different moods and this was Special Education school.
  5. Mayapple5

    Mayapple5 New Member

    It seems our kids are very good are reading people, especially the people who are "afraid" of them. We as adults can't even tell what others are feeling towards our kids as well as they can. Take your cues from him and keep him away from her. Perhaps she could attend some conferences and some continued ed to learn more about such conditions in children like your son, or maybe she just doesn't care, is which case she's in the wrong business!

    Seems he needs lots of reassurance right now that he is a good kid just has some behavior he needs to overcome and be aware that he can control as he gets older if he catches it in time, and that's where mom can help, perhaps.
  6. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    I think you handled the situation well and are definitely on top of things. I agree that your difficult child shouldn't be around that teacher. My brain is a bit fried this morning. I don't have much to add to what the others have already said. I just want you to know I'm thinking of you and hoping today is a better day for you and your son. WFEN
  7. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Glad to hear that the school director is on board and that the BT is writing reports to back you up. Also great that the in-home is keeping in touch even though out of town.

    I agree with your decision to keep difficult child home whenever that teacher is likely to be present. Honestly, her behaviour toward difficult child has been emotionally abusive. Even if she were to change, her presence would bring on issues for him which might escalate his behaviour. I also wouldn't be surprised if he has a great deal of fear and a measure of PTSD from dealing with her.

    Sending {{{{{HUGS}}}}}