This is all I can write for now...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by seekinghope, Jul 24, 2008.

  1. seekinghope

    seekinghope New Member

    He ran from the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) with another kid who is 17 and having trouble.
    Headed for Brooklyn NY.
  2. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    I know all too well what you are going through. My daughter ran from her first Residential Treatment Center (RTC) 13 times in 3 months. The worst one being a 5 day stay on the streets of Patterson NJ!!! Ever been there? It is horrible!! I know the worry you are living with right now, can't eat, can't sleep....yada, yada, yada!!! These kids, either don't care about what they put us poor parents through or they just don't realize how much we worry. I'm sure he will be just fine and when he runs out of resources he'll be back. Hang in there and God bless. :)
  3. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Another been there done that and know your hell. Mine ran from upper New England to NYC with a girl 2 years younger than her but 10 years older in experience. My child had never been to NYC, had the street smarts of a puppy and the common sense of a flea. After she got mugged, she tried to turn herself into the first police officer she saw -- he was a security guard and not even remotely interested. It took her 14 hours to find a police station. Fortunately, all turned out well and at least she never ran again after that experience.

    Kids ran from her Residential Treatment Center (RTC) on occasion. Two boys made it to Las Vegas. Most would get to "civilization" (a town with a population of about 500) and either call home, call a friend or call the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). The adventure of getting down a mountain in the wilderness was not their idea of fun.

    Hope he turns around and comes back soon. As strange as it sounds, running can frequently turn into something positive, especially if the experience is bad enough to scare them but not bad enough to seriously harm them.

    No matter what, though, I'm sorry you're going through this. HUGS
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Another been there done that but it was me who ran. I wasnt in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) but I ran away to NYC and ended up on the streets for over two weeks. One thing I did learn was that wasnt the brightest thing to do! I did live through it though.
  5. So sorry that he ran. My heart goes out to you. I hope he comes back soon.

    Sending big hugs to you,

  6. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    How scary for you ... I hope he turns up soon.
  7. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Sending hugs.
  8. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Gosh - I'm so sorry to hear this. Honestly.... these kids. When they show up, you don't know whether to kill them or just hang on to them forever.

    I hope you get word soon that he's safe and sound. Is there a specific place/person they're heading to?

    So sorry!
  9. seekinghope

    seekinghope New Member

    Right now it feels like nothing will ever be right again.
    My baby is gone.
  10. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I'm so sorry- just wanted to send HUGS! Is this the 15 yo? I hope he calls you or something soon.
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh no! I'm so sorry.
    I hope he gets smart and checks in with-someone. You must be a wreck. (And then when he turns up, you'll be an angry wreck.)
    So sorry.
  12. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    So sorry you're going through this. Sending many hugs.
  13. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    It's scary. Fingers crossed that he contacts you soon.

  14. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Any news?
  15. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    I'm hoping there is some news this morning.

    I'm so sorry, I know that you are scared and worried beyong belief. Hugs.

  16. Christy

    Christy New Member

    Sending good thoughts your way. I hope you've heard something. I am so sorry you are going through this.
  17. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    The combo of "honor roll student" and "impulse control" etc. is a hard nut to crack. He KNOWS that he can outsmart everyone and do what he wants to do. Sadly the school of hard knocks is the most successful school for these combo kids.

    I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. It is amazing
    how many "run" and stay completely safe...I'm sure your son will be one of the healthy survivors. Hugs. DDD
  18. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    Adding my good thoughts for your difficult child's safe return, sorry you are going through this trying time.
  19. seekinghope

    seekinghope New Member

    Thanks to everyone for being there.
    He is at his dad's in Brooklyn.
    I have yet to contact the RCT or the police but my ex phoned the detective in his building and I spoke to the PINS officer on my end. He and the probation officer are suppose to be at my house Mon. morning. Anyone who read my previous posts knows that technically my son is not officially on probation or on PINS because he was at the Phos and RCT before this so these actions were put on hold.

    This has been the worst weekend of my life besides the time my father and brother passed away.

    Now here is what's happening...
    My ex lives in Brooklyn in a studio apart. He is in a good section. However, walk for 5 minutes in any direction and the crime and drugs rates are astronomical. I feel he has no chance there. His father has never been the custodial parent. He lasted 7 days the last time we tried this.
    My husband does not want to take him back. He is afraid he and my son will eventually wind-up in a physical confrontation. He actually has rules and enforces them. He will not be manipulated and the anger in my son last time was scary.That is part of why he went to the phos to keep him safe and others safe. He also says that nothing we have tried has gotten through to this kid.
    What brought my husband to take this drastic measure is this... my son called his dad the night he went A-Wall; Thurs. night, eventually my ex convinced him to get into the car and come to his apt. My son who should be scared out of his wits and should be doing anything his dad says is arguing with him. Hi's dad had to pay almost $500.00 to the cab comp. that took him there; another story for another time, call the detective in his building, leave work and drive around for hours looking for him. When they get to the apartment my son refuses to go upstairs to go to sleep. He wants to sleep in the car. His dad after hours and late into the night gives-up and goes upstairs to bed. Same thing repeated last night, wants to sleep in the car. His dad tells him Fri. to stay inside the apartment because all the precincts have not been notified and he is still a missing person and my son spent all day outside.

    So here I am this morning happy my son is alive and so unhappy. I have to choose between letting my son stay there, leaving my husband, I don't know what other options I have. I don't know what to do.

    But I want to thank everyone for posting their support, it helps because I feel I am not alone.
  20. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    I am *so* relieved to see this update.

    I guess I don't understand the situation - I thought the courts were involved, even though he was in Residential Treatment Center (RTC)? Was Residential Treatment Center (RTC) court-ordered?

    I can't imagine how horrible the last few days have been for you. At this point, I think I would leave it to the courts. Sounds like staying with ex is out of the question in ex's eyes. I would think difficult child needs to be returned/escorted back to Residential Treatment Center (RTC)?

    Sorry, guess I'm confused on the details of where he was placed, by who, and why. But - I am just so glad you know where he is and that he is with ex right now, however this ends up playing out.

    Try to give yourself some TLC this weekend - you must just be drained.