This is big enough Buck news I am putting it here.

[DammitJanet]

So far no news yet. Tony had the audacity to try to tell me we could have Buck move here to help take care of me! Hahahaha. I started to go get a gun. Im in no mood for this.

I am absolutely not backing down on this at all. Tony seems to think Buck needs to come down here to get his things but I am saying no to that as well. I dont care what happens with Buck, he is NOT coming back down here. Tony keeps telling me I shouldnt be saying Buck is MR or MI because he isnt. I keep saying oh yes he is. Actually what I want for him is the best and nicest thing for him. He might not think so at first but to not have to work and to have a roof over his head that he wont have to worry about paying for will be good for him. Im actually being nice. Bringing him back here only means I might kill him.

 

[Mattsmom277]

What on earth is it going to take for Tony to get that you are NOT dealing with Buck? I don't care if he does have some crazy idea that he thinks would work with Buck there. Bottom line, you are his spouse and you are NOT dealing with Buck. Period. Full stop. I don't understand what on earth Tony thinks he is doing when he keeps trying to push this topic on you. It is absolutely unfair and it is NOT what a spouse should do. This isn't a negotiable issue, and it doesn't matter what Bucks "issues" are, where they stem from, or what his needs are. The bottom line is, you are NOT dealing with Buck. Which should mean, given the fact that you have remained adamant about it, that your spouse should drop the topic out of respect for YOU and not bring it back up again. Tony needs a reality check. I swear Janet sometimes I want to give you advice re; Tony that I realize isn't fair so I keep my mouth shut. I remind myself that you and Tony have survived nearly three decades and there is more to the relationship than the sum of the problems you share. I just wish like heck that I could shake rattle and roll him for you sometimes. I would be a raving lunatic woman by this point if I was riding the Buck topic merry go round. I tell you, if I win the mega lottery, I'm setting you up in your dream little spot with all of your needs met. A housekeeper and a dog walker and a chauffeur to trek you about where you need to be. With the stipulation that for Tony to join you, he shows you more respect and NEVER even utters the word "Buck" in your presence again. And I'm not joking. Ugh. Hang in there.

 

[susiestar]

I truly think you ARE being nice, and kind, and even loving to suggest and urge that Buck does not ever return to your area. A little while ago I looked up some things because I wanted to suggest something to you and I was shocked. Flabbergasted actually. Why?? NONE of the resources that I thought were available everywhere except maybe far out in some of the national forests or the middle of the Mojave Desert were available in your area. Looking at the population of your area, there is NO reason or excuse for those things not to be there. The only reason I can think of is that someone pocketed a whole boatload of tons of money for programs for your area. It truly shocked and upset me because I know less populated areas that have a lot more help available.

If Buck stays up there, esp if he gets the MI or MR label (which of course he is, his basic reasoning skills show that, duh), he will get pretty much free everything for life. No more tring to find jobs to pay him to stand around and do nothing. No more time constraints that dig into his drug use and whatever else he does because no one will expect hm to go to work. For a man who has the attitude that everything should be given to him (which he sure seems to have, and I am pretty sure he even told you that when he first moved in, didn't he?) and who delights in manipulating and stealing, this should be the best gravy train around ever.

If he comes to your area, he will end up homeless, more seriously ill, and unless he can get someone to take him to a hospital, he will likely die from lack of medical care. Esp given his drug use. I don't CARE what he or Tony or anyone else says. He is NOT clean and sober. No. Fumbling. Way. You don't steal someone's ketoprofen if you are clean and sober. in my opinion he didn't have a clue what they were and was looking for a high. He didn't get one, so he took more and more. One of the dangers of some of the NSAIDs is that they handle pain so well that you can bleed to death from an ulcer before you know you have a problem. You don't hurt because the medications take care of it so well.

Much as Buck likes free stuff and hates working, I would think he wuold jump on the MI/MH thing except for what his ignorant prejudices have told hm about psychiatrists and medications etc...

If it would help, I would write a note to tony about how it would be in BUCK"S best interest to stay where he is, and how it would be the most loving gift he could give him to encourage him to stay where he is to get the help he can't get in your area.

 

[DammitJanet]

Honey, if I had much of a chance for change, I wouldnt still be here. However, Im not allowing Buck to run me out of the home I bought and paid for with my own money. I will never be able to buy another place for myself and my parents are dead. I have no siblings unlike Buck and Tony. However I dont expect anyone else to take care of me when Im old, I plan on a nursing home. I wouldnt expect my family to do that. I cant imagine myself calling my cousins up in MA and asking them for help! I would be too ashamed.

Tony and I had it out again tonight. Somehow he always manages to throw in at the very end of the fight that one day I just might be in Bucks position because he can walk out the door at anytime and I will be left disabled and alone. I have no clue why he wants to make those comments to me. I dont say them to him. It reminds me of what Dr Phil calls "right fighting". Well actually it isnt even that because Tony isnt right in this case. I have worked incredibly hard on learning how to fight fair but Tony just takes it to the mat when I attempt to fight fair. If I even slip one iota he takes that one word and uses it as a weapon. And always at full volume. It is very hard to fight and argue when you have a mouthful of gauze!

Im trying to say that my feelings (notice feeling words!) are that Buck was obviously not as happy as Tony thought he was down here because as soon as he got a chance he hightailed it right back to where he had lived for most of his life. I said the best thing for him would be for him to stay up there because we cannot afford to take care of him and he doesnt have other friends down here. We cannot be his be all and end all. He is better off up there all the way around. Tony just goes off on me about how I just dont care and work against him and blah blah blah. Beats the hell out of me.