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This is just getting too much...laypeople diagnosing others (I am guilty too)
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 653079" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>It has been helpful to know there are names for repeated patterns of hurtful behavior in those we love. It gives us another perspective on why they do what they do. There is not a way to know whether the label is appropriate, but when we recognize the repeated behaviors of a loved one toward us as possibly a manifestation of illness, rather than something personal, it helps us to heal.</p><p></p><p>It was nothing personal.</p><p></p><p>The abusive behaviors are about the abuser, not the abused.</p><p></p><p>I've heard it said that every psychiatrist will diagnose the same patient differently.</p><p></p><p>I've heard it said that many diagnoses are assigned more for the sake of meeting DSMI IV (or whatever version they are using these days) insurance requirements than because the patient's symptoms match the illness listed.</p><p></p><p>So, you are in the clear too, about whether what you believe may be happening with someone you love is "correct". You are trying to make sense of things. You are trying to determine the meaning of things already happening to you. You did not go out and buy a bunch of magazines to justify judging anyone else.</p><p></p><p>You did what you did to help yourself.</p><p></p><p>In the process, you helped me and many others of us. </p><p></p><p>You are already coping with senselessly hurtful things, with hurtful patterns that affect who you believe yourself to be.</p><p></p><p>You are using every tool at your disposal to come through healthy.</p><p></p><p>I applaud you for that.</p><p></p><p>I have posted before about being uncomfortable with the way medical diagnoses, especially psychiatric ones, label and dehumanize the person behind the symptoms, no matter whether it is a professional doing the labeling or not.</p><p></p><p>So though I am uncomfortable with psychiatric diagnoses in general, I have learned enough through the things you have posted for us here to be able to put a little space between my abuser's actions and the perceptions of self I was taught at her hands.</p><p></p><p>And that is a priceless, amazing thing.</p><p></p><p>Additionally, there was something very healing in the knowledge that there is nothing personal about abuse; that abusive behaviors are about the abuser, not the abused. That understanding also came from the listings of behaviors common to a particular diagnosis.</p><p></p><p>Everything, anything that helps us see our ways through is very good for us to have access to.</p><p></p><p>You have nothing to be ashamed of or to feel badly about.</p><p></p><p>Your postings have helped me put distance between my abuser and myself, and I appreciate it.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 653079, member: 17461"] It has been helpful to know there are names for repeated patterns of hurtful behavior in those we love. It gives us another perspective on why they do what they do. There is not a way to know whether the label is appropriate, but when we recognize the repeated behaviors of a loved one toward us as possibly a manifestation of illness, rather than something personal, it helps us to heal. It was nothing personal. The abusive behaviors are about the abuser, not the abused. I've heard it said that every psychiatrist will diagnose the same patient differently. I've heard it said that many diagnoses are assigned more for the sake of meeting DSMI IV (or whatever version they are using these days) insurance requirements than because the patient's symptoms match the illness listed. So, you are in the clear too, about whether what you believe may be happening with someone you love is "correct". You are trying to make sense of things. You are trying to determine the meaning of things already happening to you. You did not go out and buy a bunch of magazines to justify judging anyone else. You did what you did to help yourself. In the process, you helped me and many others of us. You are already coping with senselessly hurtful things, with hurtful patterns that affect who you believe yourself to be. You are using every tool at your disposal to come through healthy. I applaud you for that. I have posted before about being uncomfortable with the way medical diagnoses, especially psychiatric ones, label and dehumanize the person behind the symptoms, no matter whether it is a professional doing the labeling or not. So though I am uncomfortable with psychiatric diagnoses in general, I have learned enough through the things you have posted for us here to be able to put a little space between my abuser's actions and the perceptions of self I was taught at her hands. And that is a priceless, amazing thing. Additionally, there was something very healing in the knowledge that there is nothing personal about abuse; that abusive behaviors are about the abuser, not the abused. That understanding also came from the listings of behaviors common to a particular diagnosis. Everything, anything that helps us see our ways through is very good for us to have access to. You have nothing to be ashamed of or to feel badly about. Your postings have helped me put distance between my abuser and myself, and I appreciate it. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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This is just getting too much...laypeople diagnosing others (I am guilty too)
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