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This is just getting too much...laypeople diagnosing others (I am guilty too)
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 653291" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Suzir, you have become my go-to person for sensible, logical responses. Of course, if somebody chooses to point out the selfish and negative things people do (and everybody has these areas they are not proud of), leaving out the good, it is easy for a stranger on a support site to say, "Uh, yeah! Borderline (BPD)! NPD! ABC!" Of course, for their own purposes, they never do mention the positives, even if they way outweigh the negatives. That just makes so much sense. I am so glad you responded and spoke so plainly and truthfully. Anyone can make almost anyone look like a disturbed person. All they have to do is list the bad things they have seen, with some embellishment, and leave out the positive things, the person will seem to be horrible. And that's what happens on these sites. BRILLIANT!</p><p></p><p>Sadly, in my case, I can not think of anything good my mother has done for me or my kids since I turned about twenty five so I have nothing to counteract it. She has been nicer to my siblings, but I don't know exactly what she was like so I can't say. Nor did I say. I posted my own experience with her, which, unfortunately, is not good. And it did go back to childhood.</p><p></p><p>I know my sister can be kind at times. She is not all bad. She is just, of late, very negative to me and, since this is the worst she has been, I assume it has to do with the fact that I would not listen to her talk about her boyfriend anymore. And I could see how she would think my boundary was controlling too. It was. But I had to do it for me. Still...nobody is all bad.</p><p></p><p>My brother is not a bad person. He has lived a very unusual life and has bravely battled a very serious and painful illness and I have some respect for him, regardless of how he feels about me. But he does not understand family life, as in children and spouse. He can not relate to family problems. His students are his kids, but that's not the same thing.</p><p></p><p>Can I diagnose them based on all that?</p><p></p><p>Of cousre not.</p><p></p><p>Nor can they diagnose me based on the negative while rejecting the positive.</p><p></p><p>It is too bad the U.S. is so steeped in diagnoses. We can not get help without diagnoses. Our mental health system is broken. Hopefuly, this will change, but I'm not exactly waiting for that day. If you don't live in a big city, you will not get the quality you get in that big city.</p><p></p><p>Thank you for your excellent insight.</p><p></p><p>I wonder how many people post about family members on places like Borderline (BPD) Central and other sites that promote the personality disorder bit while that same person posts about them...lol.</p><p></p><p>Life is really kind of funny <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> People are interesting. I've always been a people watcher.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 653291, member: 1550"] Suzir, you have become my go-to person for sensible, logical responses. Of course, if somebody chooses to point out the selfish and negative things people do (and everybody has these areas they are not proud of), leaving out the good, it is easy for a stranger on a support site to say, "Uh, yeah! Borderline (BPD)! NPD! ABC!" Of course, for their own purposes, they never do mention the positives, even if they way outweigh the negatives. That just makes so much sense. I am so glad you responded and spoke so plainly and truthfully. Anyone can make almost anyone look like a disturbed person. All they have to do is list the bad things they have seen, with some embellishment, and leave out the positive things, the person will seem to be horrible. And that's what happens on these sites. BRILLIANT! Sadly, in my case, I can not think of anything good my mother has done for me or my kids since I turned about twenty five so I have nothing to counteract it. She has been nicer to my siblings, but I don't know exactly what she was like so I can't say. Nor did I say. I posted my own experience with her, which, unfortunately, is not good. And it did go back to childhood. I know my sister can be kind at times. She is not all bad. She is just, of late, very negative to me and, since this is the worst she has been, I assume it has to do with the fact that I would not listen to her talk about her boyfriend anymore. And I could see how she would think my boundary was controlling too. It was. But I had to do it for me. Still...nobody is all bad. My brother is not a bad person. He has lived a very unusual life and has bravely battled a very serious and painful illness and I have some respect for him, regardless of how he feels about me. But he does not understand family life, as in children and spouse. He can not relate to family problems. His students are his kids, but that's not the same thing. Can I diagnose them based on all that? Of cousre not. Nor can they diagnose me based on the negative while rejecting the positive. It is too bad the U.S. is so steeped in diagnoses. We can not get help without diagnoses. Our mental health system is broken. Hopefuly, this will change, but I'm not exactly waiting for that day. If you don't live in a big city, you will not get the quality you get in that big city. Thank you for your excellent insight. I wonder how many people post about family members on places like Borderline (BPD) Central and other sites that promote the personality disorder bit while that same person posts about them...lol. Life is really kind of funny :) People are interesting. I've always been a people watcher. [/QUOTE]
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This is just getting too much...laypeople diagnosing others (I am guilty too)
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