CRAZY!! I rec'd something in writing stating sd will cover educational expenses of Residential Treatment Center (RTC). But, even though the person doing the medicaid processing assured me yesterday that difficult child would be in the system by end of day, the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) checked this morning and difficult child still isn't in there. The lady hasn't returned a call from 2 messages I left for her this morning and her VM message says she's leaving at 2:00 today. On top of that, the GAL nor the sw from DSS has returned calls from Monday about a county meeting, parental placement into Residential Treatment Center (RTC), or status in general. I'm supposed to talk to difficult child's attny later today, but he can only tell me so much because he's difficult child's attny and his job is to keep difficult child out of detention and in as close to a home environment as possible- even if that means turning against me because I am difficult child's opposing party in this case. I don't know what to do. I can't afford an attny and have not been charged with anything. I'm interested in hearing if the place where difficult child is now has heard anything and they will either call me today or let me know tomorrow morning during our conference call. I am a nervous wreck. My therapist told me yesterday that she didn't blame me for not being comfortable with that written personality test alone being done to get a diagnosis and treatment plan for me. She said it didn't make sense for it to be ordered unless they either thought I was a substance abuser or had dillusional thinking. I told her that they already knew my issues and that I had told them a long time ago that I had not done any illegal drug in over 25 years and if they wanted to give me a drug test, I would be happy to take one, so I don't think that's it. I think it's just their standard test and that doesn't make me feel any more comfortable about it. Anyway, I feel like I should be prepared for the worst- to be trashed in court next week and that my bro will probably be there- ready to take difficult child out of state. Why else wouldn't gal and/or dss be calling me? Two years ago when gal first got involved, she spent more time on the phone listening to my bro's BS and lies than she did with me getting facts and checking them out to see if I was telling the truth. I know this to be fact because of the things she said in court that she ultimately admitted and yet difficult child's psychiatrist said the GAL had never even called him. I guess she must just believe my bro over me or else she wouldn't be handling things the way she is now. I don't see how it can add up to anything else. Someone called my house last night with their number blocked from showing up on caller ID. They never said anything and finally hung up. The place where difficult child is now said if they had any doubt that home was unsafe for difficult child, they would have reported it, not just mentioned something to GAL. I am so scared for difficult child. But I had to call 911 that night- I had to ask the system to step in. No one else would do anything to help because he was already in Department of Juvenile Justice control. My stomach is in knots. I keep trying to say the serenity prayer but I also feel like I need to do somsething to stop this but I can't- I don't know what to do. If the gal and PO honestly beleive that all difficult child's issues are my fault, what can I do about it? difficult child knew that the PO always blamed me if something didn't go right- I think that had a lot to do with things getting so out of control. Do I let him come home with this only being worrse now, knowing he could kill me but either way, enabling him? Do I just sit there in court and not say anything while they turn difficult child over to someone where I know he could get molested and if not, I know he'll be allowed to do things that are illegal and the whole time he'll be told that it's his mother's fault that he has issues- that he doesn't need medications or a therapist?