This is never going to end is it?

[JKF]

Good morning everyone! Sorry I was quiet over the weekend but I had a pretty busy weekend. I guess it was good that I was busy because I didn't really have too much time to sit and dwell over difficult child.

I read all of your replies several times over the weekend. I appreciate all of your advice, kind words, and caring thoughts. I'm a tiny bit better today. Not as frantic with worry as I've been. I 'think' it gets a little easier with each day. He's been on the streets for 5 nights now and he's managed to survive so far. I heard from him a few times over the weekend. He slept in a laundromat Saturday night but yesterday morning I was able to convince the director of one of the better shelters to let him in even though he has no ID. I explained the situation to her and she was so nice and helpful. She said this is her job, but she's also a mother and a grandmother and completely understands how I feel. Because of this whole situation, I'm finding that there are a lot of genuinely nice, kind people out there in this world.

This morning difficult child is nowhere to be found but he did spend the night at that shelter. The director text messaged me saying he's not there but that a lot of their clients leave in the mornings so he's probably out with them. She said he can come back for lunch and spend the night again and that they are going to try to help get him back to NJ. The biggest hurdle with that is that he needs photo ID in order to get the bus ticket. Not sure how that's going to work since he has NO ID but one step at a time. At least there are kind people out there helping him and he has shelter and plenty of food! The first thing he said last night when he called was "Wow Mom, they feed us ALOT"!

So my next step it to try to figure out with the help of the CMO exactly WHERE difficult child will go when he returns to NJ. I would like for him to voluntarily go into the psychiatric hospital and get on the right medications but I know that will be a fight. CMO is going to try the Office of Temporary Assistance today and I will also be calling some shelters in the area to see if they can take him. difficult child wants to return to NJ ASAP but he doesn't realize that there's some leg work that needs to be done first. He's so impulsive and doesn't think about what NEEDS to be done BEFORE he can return so that he's not out on the streets here as well. Uggggh!

On a side note - I got the discharge papers from his former group home. I was reading the diagnosis section and apparently their doctor recently diagnosed difficult child with ASPERGERS. That's something that's NEVER come up in any of his diagnosis's over the years. He definitely fits some of the characteristics such as he can't pronounce his "R's" correctly, he becomes infatuated on one topic (electronics/video games) and that's alllllll he wants to talk about, etc. A lot of the symptoms do seem to fit him. I'll have to look into it more.

 

[InsaneCdn]

The Aspie diagnosis often gets missed, and missed and missed... When they have "normal" (or above) intellegence, they figure out to some extent how to fake normal, how to deliver "what is expected" for just long enough that they don't quite "look" Aspie. But they are wired differently.

 

[JKF]

The Aspie diagnosis often gets missed, and missed and missed... When they have "normal" (or above) intellegence, they figure out to some extent how to fake normal, how to deliver "what is expected" for just long enough that they don't quite "look" Aspie. But they are wired differently.

I read that Bipolar and Aspergers have a lot of the same symptoms and that they can definitely coincide. He's DEFINITELY bipolar but I never even thought of the possibility of him being Aspie. Hmmmm. Lots of research to do today.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Yes the two can go together... complex kids, these are!

 

[JKF]

I'm almost scared to say it but everything seems to be working out for now ***KNOCK ON WOOD*** I've spoken with the CMO who is working on housing for difficult child. The shelter director is allowing him to stay there through the holiday and they are going to provide him with transportation back to NJ on Monday the 26th. He won't need an ID to get back which is great. CMO will pick him up when he gets back here and take him directly to the office of temp assistance. I just hope, pray and everything in between that difficult child actually stays there and doesn't try to get back here on his own. He's SO impulsive and when he wants something he does it. He doesn't stop to think about things before he does them. I really hope he stays until we can get everything here coordinated. If not than he's on his own because I have put everything I have into getting things to progress this far for him!

 

[recoveringenabler]

You sound a lot better today, glad you are feeling better too. I've also found many kind folks willing to help.

by the way, my sister has been diagnosed with both bi-polar and Aspergers. She is an unusual person, had dramatic teen years not unlike your son.........I raised her from 11 on, it was harrowing at times......... however, she has a Masters Degree in Fine Art, is presently an artist and makes a good living at it.......is brilliant and has succeeded in life on her own terms after much turmoil and a hospitalization after a mental breakdown (which although horrible in many ways, put her on her own right path)........she does much to help others too, so you just never know how it will all turn out..............

You're doing great, hang in there.............(((HUGS))))

 

[recoveringenabler]

I just read your last post, great job, you got it all together for him and as you said, if he makes impulsive moves now, it's on him.

And, just so you know, my sister also won't take any medications, she says it takes all her creativity away and leaves her "flat." As an artist/writer/musician/poet, without the medications, she is a creativity firestorm...............so sometimes they make choices we just don't understand..............

 

[JKF]

I just got a call from some weird guy saying he saw difficult child earlier and that difficult child is looking to get back to NJ tonight. This is the same guy who called me at 3 am the other morning and left some weird 5 minute long rambling message on my cell phone. I calmly explained to this guy (who I could barely understand by the way) that difficult child's CMO, the shelter director, and I have been working our butts off to put a plan in place for him. Right now the plan is that difficult child is to stay at the shelter until Monday and that come Monday morning the shelter will provide him with a bus ticket back to NJ and his CMO worker will pick him up at the bus station and take him to get ID and housing. Apparently difficult child wants to come back now and not wait until Monday. I want to scream!!! I had a feeling he would pull this s**t because that's what he does. He does what he wants when he wants with no thought in between. Uggggggggh!!!! I told this guy that when he sees difficult child to let him know that if he decides to mess up this well thought out plan and all of the hard work we've put into it, that he's on his own. I'm so angry and disgusted right now that I'm actually sick to my stomach!

 

[recoveringenabler]

JKF, is your son sitting tight waiting it out until Monday or did he go into the wind?
You did a lot of work for him, I hope he follows the plan.................and appreciates what you've done too.
I hope you have a peaceful Thanksgiving....................
(((HUGS))))