This is VERY good news about difficult child

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by hearts and roses, Jul 25, 2011.

  1. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    It has been six years since she was lured off the internet, kidnapped and taken out of state, then sexually assaulted on the way back home. As you may recall he was arrested and sentenced to 10 years jail, etc. He was let out in January and was paroled but in May his parole was up, now he's just on probation and has registered as a sex offender. He's not allowed near difficult child (and quite frankly, I don't think that he would anyway, so not worried there).

    When this all happened, difficult child was 15 and already in counseling, however, after this happened, she was not cooperative and tried as hard as she could to just ignore, deny and block it from her memory. Last year, while sitting around the campfire drinking wine, she spilled a lot of stuff to me. At that time, I urged her to find a good therapist who had experience with sexual assaults and she said she would, but then never did.

    Now for the good news: SHE FOUND A THERAPIST AND HAS HER FIRST appointment TONIGHT!!!!! OMG, I am so HAPPY that she's taken that first step for herself. Lately, some things have come up with her and E (boyfriend) and she said it's freaking her out and that she now realizes that she's got stuff to work through. And she's hoping that E can join her as well at some point.

    I am so happy about this, I had to share.
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2011
  2. keista

    keista New Member

    So glad to hear! I'm very happy for her as well as you. Dealing with those buried hidden feelings can be really scary, but I'm glad she's found the desire and strength to face them.
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh that is wonderful Jo. Sex abuse can linger for a long time, let me tell you. It can really cause some very difficult problems with serious relationships. I know that I could have all the meaningless one night stands in the world but I found it incredibly hard to have a relationship that I felt safe in. I couldnt let myself be open and trusting and let go if you know what I mean.

    Good luck to her.
  4. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    Such wonderful news. I hope she finds peace and healing.
  5. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    That is wonderful. Thanks for sharing it with us.

  6. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I'm glad she realized she does need the help and not only is getting it but is willing to let her boyfriend be part of her healing. I hope he is helpful and understanding and that she landed a great therapist.
  7. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    How wonderful that she has taken this first enormous step on her own initiative!

    Love, Esther
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    What a wonderful giant step for her. It may not be the easiest thing she's done, but she'll never regret that she's done it.
  9. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    That's wonderful! Hope her appointment went well.
  10. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    She said it went well and that she likes the woman she's seeing (I actually saw this woman years ago to help me deal with loco-sister).

    difficult child said they mainly went through the preliminary info, but so far she feels comfortable with this woman, so fingers crossed, sounds like it may be a decent fit. difficult child told me some of the family history she gave and I noticed she wasn't saying much about her bio-dads family, but she got to that and I guess told her that stuff as well.

    The thing is, because I was almost always there for the family background sessions and difficult child wasn't always a willing participant, I doubt she has any real knowledge of her dads bio-info that is accurate. In her eyes, his family is the normal one, lol! But, as I've been becoming well practiced, I must let this go.

    After all, her therapy needs to be based on her truth-not mine. Thanks for the encouragement, I'm just so happy SHE chose this.
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2011
  11. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    That she is taking the steps needed is awesome news. Instead of being led to the water...she has identified her thirst for help all by herself. The chances of success and resolution are really great when self generated. I'm delighted. DDD
  12. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Way To Go difficult child!!!
  13. Steely

    Steely Active Member


    Awesome glad difficult child is deciding this based on her own needs and terms. Very encouraging.
  14. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    I'm so glad for both of you.
  15. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    That is wonderful news that she took the steps to start dealing with her trauma and that she likes and trusts the therapist.

  16. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Good for your difficult child for reaching out for "self help".
    That is a sign of some maturity that you can really be proud of!