Hi all. This has nothing to do with a teen but I know the wisdom that lives on this board and this forum seemed a likely place to ask for some wise words. I've posted in watercooler in the past about my sister in law (S/O's sister) and her addiction to pills. Specifically oxycontin and percocets (Oxy's are her choice, percs are her backup if all else fails ... or her oxy "chasers"). A quick recap: She's been hardcore using these for over 2 years that we know of. I believe more than 3 but who knows. She did thousands of dollars damage to her car at the beginning of the summer, while using a rental when car was being repaired, she did a runner when she damaged the rental crashing into a car in a parking lot. 2-3 days after having her car back from the garage, she rolled it and it was a complete write off. She is in her early 40's, married for 20+ years, 2 kids (18 year old refusing to live with her any longer, out of control 14 year old difficult child). She has spent well over $100K on pills in the past couple/few years. Her marriage is in tatters, her husband we have no clue how he is still in this. Her daughter lives in town here where I am. sister in law and her husband and youngest son moved many hours drive away during the summer. She has caused untold anguish in the family, obviously you are all no strangers to that. She used S/O and I for years. As the only family local for years, she was here all of the time. We heard all the stories. We had all the begging for cash for food for kids, for turning power back on when it was cut off, for having heat turned on when it was cut off. We had her show up here so strung out she could not hold her head up (yet she drove here) and could not form sentences. She even attempted to buy drugs from the creep neighbor behind me who brutally attacked and beat my S/O. She came here TWICE to try to "detox herself" because she didn't want to do it in front of HER kids. But she felt it okay to do it in front of us and MY kids. I had to tell her no, can't do this. She left here and of course, bought drugs. She has stolen from us, from other family. When my S/O's step father passed this fall, she was caught by my S/O breaking into my mother in law's safe and stealing from the step dads things he'd left for mother in law in event of his passing first. She was caught stealing hundreds of dollars the day after he died, from her mother. She then went to a dying uncle to ask for pills and knocked on doors asking seniors in her mothers buildings for drugs, claiming her back was out and she needed something to be able to stick around and support my mother in law in her time of need. Does it get any more crass? S/O and i have not spoken to her since she moved out of town this summer. We both flat out refuse. I refused to even allow her in the house when she arrived with her husband and kids the day she was leaving town with the moving truck and showed here to say "goodbye". S/O did go outside to say goodbye to his brother in law and kids, but told his sister that he had nothing more to say to her pretty much. Anyhow, things got worse in the new town. Took about 2 days for her to track down druggies to buy from. Her husband is on course for work out of town often and her eldest moved out right away and came back to my town. Her youngest hides the truth from his father to keep peace but now the truth is out that she has been using hard core. She substitutes her oxy use with methadone she buys on the street when her husband is around, to not appear high to him or actively using, but to avoid withdrawls. We have learned that she did go to rehab. She got absolutely violent and psychotic, lost reality, and her husband drove her straight to ER. This was some months back, probably around Sept. She spent 3 days in hospital claiming sleep deprivation was the cause (OMG! And her husband dropped her and told them nothing, just ignored her until she turned up as released from hospital). He made it mandatory she attend detox and then rehab. She last 3 weeks combined. I guess she did a medical detox then moved into rehab. It was a one year in patient program. She signed herself out on the 20th day. She is actively using again and has gone through over $10K in just about the past 3 weeks. My mother in law called and told us these updates. Until now S/O tries to not discuss his sister with his mother. It's too difficult and we are in no position to do anything anyhow. Well mother in law brought us up to date and said sister in law told her she knows she needs to go to long term rehab but feels she will fail. So mother in law calls US and asks ME (She skipped asking my S/O) to call my sister in law. Tells me that she feels since I'm always able to bolster her daughters self confidence, a call showing our support and encouragement about rehab might give the push she thinks daughter in law needs. Call me harsh, heartless (I feel I'm not, not heartless at least) but I feel in her desperate state of life crumbling, she'd crawl to rehab if she wanted it badly enough. She knows her husband would take her immediately. I can't see a call making a difference. If it would, perhaps it wouldn't be so instantly rejected in my mind. Yet at the same time, perhaps I'd still reject it. This woman sure is in a rough spot and needs help. And support is a huge need for people to get and stay sober. I get that. I also get that S/O were the ones on the recieving end of her **** for those years until she left town. She stole from us, she acted awful towards us. Heck she had someone she drugs with message me online to say I should kill myself and do the world a favor by ridding the planet of myself. I know its drugs talking, she and I were friends. In fact I met my S/O via her. However we've been used, robbed, manipulated, lied to, horribly spoken to, and she's caused so much turmoil here that when S/O and I decided to cut her out, she clearly knew we would NOT speak to her again unless she was a minimum of one year clean AND came to us with a honest apology and clarity in her thinking about why we cut contact in the first place. Accountability I call it. So .... all that said, to ask ... would you call her? I did tell mother in law all of this, that I can't see her caring anyhow what I could have to say. I mean she clearly can't stand S/O and I because we call her to carpet. mother in law said "She needs that, it helps her when she's on the brink of getting help. So here's her number, read it back to me please" and proceeded to give me a number we didn't have for sister in law's new residence, because we dont' want it! Well she's since asked twice if we have called yet. Nope. S/O said mom, I don't want to call nor does Melissa. It will do no good for sister and will cause us more frustration and anger. She needs to do it on her own. (He's a smart s/o let me say!). She called again yesterday while we were gone with my sister to the movies. Left a message about the desperate emotional state of my sister in law and how she is hoping we'll call sister in law when we get her message and to please call her (mother in law) back after the call to tell her if we felt we got through to daughter in law or not. Well obviously we didn't call. Are we just being angry and stubborn? Are we being insensitive? I mean, it feels right for us but in the end if we believed it could help sister in law we'd want that. We also don't want to place ourselves in a position to end up sucked into sister in law's web of garbage again. We haven't missed it. Any input would be fantastic. And if I need a reality check feel free to give it to me. We do really want honest opinions, not just confirmation we are right if we are not.