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This Jody had to make a new account-Need advice.
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 636061" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>What part of the country do you live in, Jody? The reaction by her peers and their parents will be different in different places. I think that I hear you saying that you are fine with her sexual orientation <em>and</em> that you worry for her happiness if she is made fun of for it. I think that is normal and caring.</p><p></p><p>I come from a very open minded part of the country recently transplanted to a very closed minded part of the country. So, I'm fairly open minded. I'd ask you to have a conversation with yourself about your daughter's openness about her girlfriend from a purposely skewed point of view - as if her girlfriend were a boy. (Because you love your daughter no matter what and you want the best for her - it's clear from what you have written.) Ask yourself:</p><p></p><p>"Does she love him?" "Is he more good than bad for her?" "Will he treat her well?" If the answers to those questions is "yes", or even "mostly yes", then I feel that you should recognize that it doesn't really matter that "he" is really "she". Kids are pretty open minded now about sexuality, even in more conservative areas. At the same time, if your daughter was dating a boy who had a physical deformity or was the class nerd her classmates and their parents would notice that as well, and some of them might pick on her for it. How would you deal with that? Would you support her and her boyfriend under those circumstances? Of course you would. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>The pot smoking, the cigs, the missing school... ugh. All problematic and all of her own doing. She's not going to stop any of that unless and until she sees the benefit in stopping. Her sexual orientation is probably not something she "decided". It may be a fad, but probably not. Have you talked to her about it? Has she always been this way? Of course you love her so it doesn't matter whether she was or not, but she may need to hear those words from you. You've always loved her and you always will, and who she loves isn't going to change that.</p><p></p><p>{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 636061, member: 99"] What part of the country do you live in, Jody? The reaction by her peers and their parents will be different in different places. I think that I hear you saying that you are fine with her sexual orientation [I]and[/I] that you worry for her happiness if she is made fun of for it. I think that is normal and caring. I come from a very open minded part of the country recently transplanted to a very closed minded part of the country. So, I'm fairly open minded. I'd ask you to have a conversation with yourself about your daughter's openness about her girlfriend from a purposely skewed point of view - as if her girlfriend were a boy. (Because you love your daughter no matter what and you want the best for her - it's clear from what you have written.) Ask yourself: "Does she love him?" "Is he more good than bad for her?" "Will he treat her well?" If the answers to those questions is "yes", or even "mostly yes", then I feel that you should recognize that it doesn't really matter that "he" is really "she". Kids are pretty open minded now about sexuality, even in more conservative areas. At the same time, if your daughter was dating a boy who had a physical deformity or was the class nerd her classmates and their parents would notice that as well, and some of them might pick on her for it. How would you deal with that? Would you support her and her boyfriend under those circumstances? Of course you would. :) The pot smoking, the cigs, the missing school... ugh. All problematic and all of her own doing. She's not going to stop any of that unless and until she sees the benefit in stopping. Her sexual orientation is probably not something she "decided". It may be a fad, but probably not. Have you talked to her about it? Has she always been this way? Of course you love her so it doesn't matter whether she was or not, but she may need to hear those words from you. You've always loved her and you always will, and who she loves isn't going to change that. {{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}} [/QUOTE]
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