This may be the start of Corys jail time

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by DammitJanet, Apr 15, 2008.

  1. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    Cory has court today for his probation violation. They say he violated back in August when he pled guilty to some traffic violations. Wish they had violated him back then because he was already in jail!

    He is asking for house arrest instead of actual jail time because he "needs to be at home to help his disabled mother." LOL. Have no clue if that will work or not. I dont know if it will much matter either because his other charges are coming up the middle of next month...but who knows what they will do on them. Its such a c rap shoot.

    I really am fairly numb to it all. He knows he has done wrong and has really tried hard not to do anything else stupid. I wish they would sentence him to mental health help. That would do the best. Heck even if they put him back in the hospital it would be better. The only thing jail will do is keep him safe from our neighbors.

    But he did the crimes so he has to be punished. We will accept the outcome but let me tell you, I am going to be a basket case if he is in jail and Jamie is sent off. Worrying about 2 of them is just too much.
  2. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Good luck to Cory. Hope the best most productive outcome is the result of Cory being held accountable.
    You may get less worry if Cory is off the streets. Just joking of course. No one rests when their kid is in jail. I wish he actually did help his disabled mother instead of giving you more grief.
    I would think he would get farther if he said he was the financial support for his child or at least I think so?

    Deep breath. You will get through this too. Disengage a bit. All of this is beyond your control. Be the mom and the support but don't put yourself into a tailspin with worry. It won't change anything. Hugs.
  3. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat


    I have to say, you sound better about this than I have ever heard you. Still, you have a hurting, worrying mommy heart, and I have hugs for it.

    Sending you a steady dose of strength to draw from to get through this. Please keep us posted.
  4. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Here house arrest is almost worse than jail. They monitor everywhere you go with ankle "bracelet" and you have to call every time you go some place. Technically you can't go outside unless you call and they really don't even want you to go outside, even on a deck or pool. Almost rather he was in jail than go thru those hoops because it surely leads to another "violation". Got to thinking about how I always feared jail because of the "other" guys in there, but now realize my difficult child is an "other" guy........Best of luck and hope he gets a fair shake.......literally.......
  5. ChefPaula1965

    ChefPaula1965 Oh my aching back!!

    Dear Jannett.. you shure have your plate full.... between one possibly going to jail and the other possibly being sent overseas.. what do you do??
    I know you say you are pretty numb.. but I know that when I "feel numb" it is just a defense mechanism.. My boddy can't handle anymore of the anxiety so it shuts down the emotions for a while.. then it all catches up to me... I know how much you love your kids... have read many of your posts... Each of these two situations would be enough for a mom to handle.. the two together..
    well let me say.. this really prove how much of a "warrior" you are ..... Girl I hope you get some releif from all your pain... emotional and physical..
    big gentle hugs to you
  6. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Hoping for the best outcome, whatever that is.

    I know when J was on house arrest, he couldn't go 10 feet outside of the house. We thought it would be great. The PO gets a print out every day of his whereabouts. Well...being the burdened system as it is, they never looked at it. He finally cut the thing off and went on the run. In CA, the average PO has over 400 people to watch. Imagine that.

    Hugs to you. Sounds like a good time for a massage for you.

  7. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Probably won't work unless he shows up with you in tow and has to wipe some of that drool off your disabled mouth while talking to the judge! ;)

    Best of luck to him with that!
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I hope it's a good outcome for Cory in court. Like you said though, it can be pretty much up in the air til they hand down the decision.

    Why do these things always have to be grouped together? sheesh As if handling just one situation wouldn't be bad enough. But I have faith you'll find a way to get thru. You're tough as nails when you need to be. And we'll be here to help hold to up and to cry on our shoulders.

    Hang in there. (((hugs)))
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    Well I swear if this boy aint lucky! The probation officer didnt show up again...this is the third time!

    His lawyer said that he had talked it over and they are definitely going to recommend house arrest.

    On the other charges front, he talked to the lawyer and supposedly the deal is going to be that they drop everything down to misdemeanors, 30 active sentence (which he already has that on credit from being in jail),60 days house arrest, 6 months intensive probation, restitution, and 30 months unsupervised probation.

    I swear all this is getting to me. I went to my doctor today and my blood pressure was sky high!
  10. Star*

    Star* call 911

    You suppose he can come here and represent Dude?

  11. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Lucky that he got such an absent PO, but hope he understands that he didn't "get away" with anything. Kicking the antics down to misdemeanors is a pure gift! Hope he appreciates this "sentence" and can keep his nose clean. Does this mean he will be living at home? Thought he was living elsewhere, but I guess I lost track.
  12. ChefPaula1965

    ChefPaula1965 Oh my aching back!!

    Oh Cory,
    thake advantage of this and learn from the lesson!!
    Hugs to you dear.
  13. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    Sorry I wasn't here earlier to post my support. I hope Cory KNOWS he is just truly BLESSED!! This is a real GIFT!!

    I hope that he becomes some help to you while he is on house arrest. If he isn't helping you, he should be giving you massages and showing his appreciation in other ways. I also hope he has learned his lesson and can keep his nose clean from here on out.

    Sending many hugs,

  14. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    WOW, Janet- Cory sure is lucky.........not sure you and husband are lucky since house arrest will get old pretty soon for him and you tend to be Cory's targets when things spiral down. :(

    I hope it works out.

  15. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Honestly, I don't think house arrest is the best thing for you, at least not when the house is your home. As Suz said, Cory does take his frustrations out on you and, from everything I've read and seen about house arrest, it is very frustrating. Following it is not easy.

    Glad to hear they're talking about knocking everything down to misdemeanors. That has to be a huge relief to you.
  16. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    I am glad for you to. We could not do house arrest. We were already practically in house arrest anyway. I felt bad for not allowing it but I just didnt know what else to do. Maybe it will work for you. God bless.
  17. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    Im not opposed to or really worrying about him being on house arrest. If he messes up then its on him but I think knowing the outcome of him messing up will keep him in line. I might also get a really clean house out of it. When he gets really bored, he The past few days he has been working in the yard...mowing, weedeating, cleaning up. I will probably offer to pay some of his costs for the house arrest for days he does really deep cleaning. That will be cheaper than a maid
  18. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I hope Cory gets really really bored, and you get a spotless house out of the deal. lol
  19. ChefPaula1965

    ChefPaula1965 Oh my aching back!!

    yeah, and if he is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) like Andre... well your house will stay spoteless.. I would keep many things for him to stay busy with. Make very specific chore lists (including washing shelves in the fridge) etc... I hope, if you have him at home, that he is very loving and helpful to you..
    Big hugs
  20. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    I think he is lucky and wonder if he truly recognizes this. Good to hear that he is doing some hoursehold chores. difficult child had a friend on house arrest and if I recall, the PO officer barely kept tabs on the situation. You mentioned your sky high blood pressure. I do hope that you are able to disengage and take care of yourself.