This might help someone....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Robinboots, Feb 26, 2010.

  1. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    I found a website, which of course is bookmarked on my laptop and not here but I should be able to add later, which talks a LOT about how "outsiders" tend to fall for these kids' wild stories and believe every.single.lie.

    A couple days ago, I got into it with my son-in-law. BAD timing on his part, lol! Part of our "discussion", via email, was that he took GFG17-then16 to an MLM meeting. Why? Who the heck knows - can't sign up till you're 18 anyway. So dingy sister in law tells me that difficult child told him he didn't feel "supported" by his family and wasn't interested because of that. sister in law told me that I had a negative attitude.


    So I told sister in law a thing or two: that difficult child has ISSUES, that he's a pathological liar, that at 18 he'll likely be diagnosed with Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) and that right now, even, he's CD. That sister in law was nowhere to be found when difficult child falsely accused husband of abuse, that sister in law's solution was to involve difficult child in a couple charity events but then TWICE STOOD HIM UP! I also told sister in law that I had enough to deal with besides thinking of HIM and his so-called business 24/7 - which precipitated the "discussion" - when trying to handle difficult child, my husband's cancer diagnosis, and this little thing called LIFE, duh! I told sister in law that if he'd EVER exhibited any kind of caring and concern for THIS part of the family, I'd never seen it.

    [[trying to breathe]]

    sister in law's last communication was that he'd work on his empathy if I'd work on my negativity.

    I'd really like to smack him.

    Point is, NO ONE outside "gets it". It takes years, plenty of exposure, and constant discussion. It takes someone being scr*wed over by a difficult child, maybe more than once, before that person "gets it". And even then, of course, they don't live with it...THEY can escape, or forget for awhile.
  2. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

  3. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    What you are exhibiting is not negativity, it is reality.

    Sounds like your sister in law needs a good dose of it.

    Give him time. He will either learn he doesn't know everything after all, or else he will travel through life in a rose-tinted haze oblivious to reality other than the one he invents for himself in his own imagination. In which case - there is no point trying to get through to him, he would be too well insulated.

    So he will either learn for himself over time, or he will never get it. So don't waste your energy trying to smash information through his thick skull. Save your energy for where you can really have some impact.

    But I don't blame you for saying what you had to say.