This must be some weird type of Karma...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by ThreeShadows, Mar 15, 2010.

  1. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    So, difficult child 2 has been living with his fiancée's g'parents. They are nice people but major enablers. Their household includes their only daughter. She stays holed up in her room watching the QVC channel (spending her money), is on disability for chronic pain, will often go for days without bathing or getting out of her pj's. She has been addicted to pain medications for years, it seems she found a doctor who just keeps on handing out the prescriptions without monitoring her usage.

    My son, who put us all through Hades during his drugging days, decided that his fiancée deserved to have a healthy mother. He took away her medications and put them in a safe, handing them to her according to the proper schedule. He drew up a contract with her, stating that she knew he was not a medical professional and agreed to his helping get her clean so she will not sue him if something goes wrong. She got taken to the ER, the staff spoke with the prescribing doctor, he will not be giving her any more addictive medications. They set her up with a 3 day addictions program (how is such a short time going to help?).

    difficult child 2 is using tough love! If she gets illegal drugs he will ask her to leave. It's not even HIS house!

    Now, I say that she needs to WANT to get clean, but what do I know? I'm only a mother and I used tough love on this young man. It didn't work until he matured some more and it became worthwhile to him.
  2. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    The 3 days is probably detox. Some pain medications can not be simply weened. You have to go through medical detox. Coming off Oxycontin is like heroin withdrawal. I've seen it, and it ain't for the faint of heart. Coming off some can cause seizures and heart issues.
  3. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Do you think he is BS'ing me? She goes home at the end of each day. This sounds strange. How can you detox that way?
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    The outpatient part reminds me of a methadone program......They go pick up their medication, go to some therapy and go back home. Maybe they've set her with a program that does something similar but with the pain medications??

    I dunno. Sounds a bit off, but I've heard of some pretty strange set ups.

    I went thru withdrawls from Morphine once. Long story. Thanks to a doctor error I was getting double dosed for weeks. I was getting it in the fanny and by IV. If I'd known (I thought the fanny shot was for nausea) it would've never happened. As it was I lived through 3 days of pure hades on earth. And that was with still getting a lower dose of opiate because my pain level was still too high to do anything else.

    I still use Morphine in hospital. Kidney pain is some serious stuff and I'm allergic to demerol. But I'm extremely careful to get off of it as soon as I can tolerate the pain.

    Sounds like he actually heard what you were saying and got the message.........Although the saying he'll kick her out of her own house part I think might be a tad exaggeration or boasting. lol
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911

    1st - not BSing you - it's very cost-effective especially if someone is iffy on recovery as far as SHE WANTS to do it. This may give him an idea ESPECIALLY since he has already been through it and knows what the evils of addiction are.
    2nd - GOOD for YOU. I mean without you doing this for him? He wouldn't be able to help her, so kudos to you whether you will ever get the credit for it or not. Not that you have ever tooted your own horn or ever would - (that's what you have friends for).
    3rd - ANY intervention whether attempted or failed is still an intervention and is worthwhile especially if it's the first one, because as you and anyone else knows that has assisted in this endeavor? It can take several before (if) it ever sticks. We all just pray that it sticks.

    I wish them all the best. As far as coming off Oxycontin? ((((((shudders)))) Yeah - count me in the group that says "OH was that 360 hours of community service at the land fill without latex gloves and a safety suit vs. staying with the guy coming off of oxycontin for a week?" and you know I'm a germophobe. Told DF if he EVER EVER entertained that idea with his PMD again? I'd use one foot for each of their behinds.
  6. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Sounds pretty amazing to me, especially the part about him caring enough about another person to such a degree. I hope it's not BS and that the woman heals. I also hope that your son doesn't become too much of a codependent!