This semester is pretty much a wash

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Californiablonde, Jun 11, 2013.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    difficult child's last day of school is next Thursday. I already pretty much know her grades. She is failing three classes which are art, ceramics, and English. She is failing partly due to lack of attendance and partly for doing minimal class work. You would think that art and ceramics would be easy classes but they are not. There is a lot of writing and essays involved and that is difficult child's biggest weakness. She has an aide that goes into those classes and helps her but she still struggles. So she will need to make up the credits next year. Her English teacher says difficult child frequently puts her head down in class and refuses to work so that is why she is failing that subject. Her strength is math so she is getting by with a C in that class despite poor attendance. Her grade for PE went from an F to a D+ so at least she won't have to make it up in her junior year if she passes both semesters next year. Her grade for Science is a C so she gets to pass that one. She is going to have to go to summer school to make up her English credits. In our district summer school is independent study so she will go to the school one day a week and pick up the work then do it at home. Thankfully my mom hired a student tutor for the summer and she is going to work with difficult child two hours a week to get the work done. I have zero patience and I am pretty much the last person that difficult child will listen to so I am very thankful to have a tutor help her with most of the work. Hopefully difficult child passes her summer course. I am hoping for a better year next year. As of now I'm just grateful she isn't failing everything with her bad attendance and poor attitude.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I'm not about to bash you on this but I'd like you to think about that statement.
    If you treat her like she has a "bad attitude", then... my experience? bad attitude is exactly what you will get.
    She gets enough of that from school.

    Your Mom's approach of hiring a tutor to help with that English credit? Good idea. One-on-one instruction often helps. I hope it's some good-looking guy, or at least somebody difficult child can relate to on some level. There's gotta be something in it for difficult child beyond "marks".

    As for those "easy" classes with tons of writing?
    IEP re-write time.
    Have her do double the art-work and a quarter of the writing.
    Have her do verbal or visual presentations of things the others are writing about.
    Have her do a "survey report" of the other students' findings on a particular subject... they research and do up their "results" and hand off to difficult child. They do their essays based on the "results", and difficult child pulls all the results together into an "overview". Stats etc. where that is possible, because she's not bad at math.
    Make use of her skills...
    (can you tell we've been down this road?)
  3. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry but I am trying my hardest to figure out what I wrote to make you think I treat her like she has a bad attitude? Where in my post did I say I treat her that way?
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    The last line of your post... says:
    "As of now I'm just grateful she isn't failing everything with her bad attendance and poor attitude. "

    You may not really believe it's "bad attitude", but the attitude of teachers etc. does tend to get under our skin. been there done that. Big time. School almost killed difficult child. I had to examine my own beliefs about difficult child, and then examine my language concerning difficult child. When I changed both is when the battle started to turn in my fight with school. It wasn't so much that I thought he had a bad attitude, but ... my language was starting to make it sound that way, because school was rubbing off on me. I had to reverse that.
  5. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I am always really positive with her and don't treat her badly at all. She talks down to me and treats me like **** and I am extra careful with my words around her and never say anything negative. I am posting about her attitude here where she can't read it. I don't bring it up around her or tell her she has a bad attitude at all.
  6. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    CB: I don't think IC means you would accuse your daughter of bad attitude when she is there to hear it. But if you, in your own mind, start to word it like school words it and think of it as a bad attitude, you have already lost half a battle with school to actually treat her issues and not just label her as a kid with the bad attitude.

    This is something I have to check myself all the time. And my difficult child is an adult and certainly able to have a bad attitude and at times does have one. But it is so easy cop-out for me and everyone else to just consider this and that and that as a bad attitude and shove the problem back to him even when it is not about attitude or at least it is not something he has tools to change.

    Your kid is younger, and because of that, bad attitude is mostly just an unacceptable cop-out from school's part and something you shouldn't let get yourself sucked into. I understand things can be difficult because you work in same school she goes, but still, as a mother, you should not accept cop-outs from school's part.
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I'm going to stick up for CG. I have naver seen her refer to her difficult child as in any way a bad kid with a bad attitude. I think she believed she was ill before the school did and I think she has been very much her advocate.

    Having a good attitude toward your child, by the way, does not always work. Kids do not always do well just because you act like you expect them too. All kids are different.

    CG, I think you're doing the best you can with a child who has been through a lot this year and has some mental illness. Keep up the good work :)
  8. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    How wonderful that your mom will pay for a tutor! You guys have had a very rough year. Both of you are probably glad it is over.

    What we've done with difficult child 1 and hard elective classes is to have him change classes. Yes you could redo the IEP and I guess if difficult child 1 really liked the subject I would. Mostly I keep my battles for the core classes like math, history, English, ect...

    Sounds like your difficult child really hates writing. Why is that? Is it a thinking problem? Can't organize thoughts or gets distracted or ? Is it a physical problem? Hand get tired or can't think and write at the same time? If you can pin point why she hates writing maybe you could fix or help the problem and life will be better for all of you during the summer.
    *At least where the English class is concerned.
  9. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Thank you MidwestMom for your kind words. I am extra careful around difficult child and positive to a fault with her cause her dad is so intent on putting her down. I feel like I have to be extra supportive when it comes to her because she is so used to hearing negative from all directions. I am doing my best to try and get her in a positive mind set. She hates everything right now. Hates school, hates her dad and stepmom, and says she hates her life. I feel bad for her cause this really was a tough year due to her illness and changing schools. She hated her last school for months but finally turned around and started making friends. I am really hoping the same thing will happen next year at this school. As far as English is concerned, she has an aide that does most of the writing for her. But she has learning disabities and sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation is her weakness. I am happy that she is going to have a tutor helping her with it this summer. We may even keep her on next year if needed. As for electives next year I don't think we will be doing art and ceramics again. The classes are too structured and difficult child does not like them. She is a very talented artist but does not like projects they have been doing and has no interest in making things out of clay. Her counselor says next year they are thinking of putting in a choir class and difficult child loves to sing, so that is an option for her. They also have computer and drama classes so those are a possibility as well. This year has really been difficult in many ways so I am going to be relieved when it is finally over. I am looking onward to summer vacation and spending time with both kids and I think we all deserve a relaxing summer break. I am counting down the days till June 29.