Those who have kids with Aspergers...can you tell me about them?

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brendan

Guest
I was wondering what they were like. I am planning on taking my 9 yr old to a Neuropsychologist, but just wanted to see what the others were like. I love it here, can't wait to respond to some posts and get used to these abbreviations!!

M
 
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HaoZi

Guest
While you're waiting for an in-depth response here (I'm also hoping to get my daughter tested for AS or NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD)), there is an Asperger's Awareness on Facebook. The status comments are from people who have it or parents of children with it, and it can give you some insight into how far-ranging the spectrum of AS can really be.
http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/aspergersawarenesspage
 
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ML

Guest
One thing I like to remember is that our kids are not aspergers, they are not defined by it. Having said that, there are some commonalities. The first of which is anxiety. This anxiety manfiests in different ways and can look like extreme defiance but often these kids are just afraid.

Manster is bright and funny and has a wicked sense of humor. He makes his friends laugh all the time. He doesn't like attention brought to him and embarasses easily. He also has adhd and mild tourettes so I think his behavior is worse than those with just AS. Luckily he is a street angel/house devil and saves his meltdowns for home. Don't even let anyone tell you aspies don't have emotions. They simply have trouble regulating them and expressing them. Actually I think they are often more sensitive than average. Manster is a great cook and a talented writer. He is also complicated and challenging and has been my greatest teacher on many levels.

I look forward to hearing from others.
 

Fran

Former desparate mom
It reallys shows itself differently in different people. Not to mention that the lines are pretty blurred between Asperger's, Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified and a few other diagnosis' that have very close overlapping symptoms.
Most Aspie's tend to be socially awkward or shy. My difficult child is out going, hyper verbal, good natured and more flexible than most. He is definitely not the average but at the core, his social skills are not what they should be for someone who is 26. He has an innocence and even a superficiality. He'd much rather talk about comic books, super heroes, video games, Halloween or whatever his interest, or sometimes obsession, is than ask how you are? or even care to know someone's name he just met.
They are self absorbed but not because they are bratty but because their world is totally revolving around them. They can't seem to see the world unless it relates to them.
I would suggest that you start to read, research, and join sites that are about Autistic spectrum disorders. None of our kids seem to be the same. Good luck.
 

hexemaus2

Old hand
difficult child 2 carries a Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified diagnosis, but when he was diagnosed, the team told us the only reason he missed an Aspie diagnosis is that he had no obsessions.

In public school (up until 3rd grade) he was "normal" to most people, but a holy terror at home in terms of violent outbursts. He had no frustration tolerance to speak of, was anxious about the most obscure things (too much sunlight, roofs falling in on him) excelled in academics, and got along well with other kids in guided activities.

As an early teenager, he was absolutely confused by social situations. He didn't understand jokes, couldn't tell if someone was picking on him or teasing him about something, and spent the majority of his day playing video games by himself in his room. He still excelled in academics, preferred the company of adults, would never talk to people he didn't know, and loved to draw.

Now, at 17, he's a very sensitive guy. He still struggles with theory of the mind, projecting future outcomes, putting himself in someone else's shoes, etc., but he tries really hard. He wants to do something professionally to help kids like himself. He gets upset when he slips and looses control of his temper (although now it's just verbal stuff.) He's an excessive worrier (scared of driving because he might get mad and hurt someone, scared of living on his own, etc.) He's most comfortable talking to people online rather than face-to-face, but he's making conscious efforts to be more sociable. He loves cars and the idea of rebuilding them (so long as he doesn't have to drive it.) People notice he's kind of quirky, but mostly in a geeky, awkward kind of way. He's very analytical and loves philosophical debates, digging for deeper meaning in things. Accomplishments, even small ones, mean a lot to him. Emotionally and maturity-wise, he's probably closer to a 14 or 15 year old than a 17 year old, but intellectually he's more like a 40-something guy. Think big, kind of clumsy, sweet, and over-sensitive, and you have my difficult child 2.
 
B

brendan

Guest
difficult child 2 carries a Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified diagnosis, but when he was diagnosed, the team told us the only reason he missed an Aspie diagnosis is that he had no obsessions.

In public school (up until 3rd grade) he was "normal" to most people, but a holy terror at home in terms of violent outbursts. He had no frustration tolerance to speak of, was anxious about the most obscure things (too much sunlight, roofs falling in on him) excelled in academics, and got along well with other kids in guided activities.

As an early teenager, he was absolutely confused by social situations. He didn't understand jokes, couldn't tell if someone was picking on him or teasing him about something, and spent the majority of his day playing video games by himself in his room. He still excelled in academics, preferred the company of adults, would never talk to people he didn't know, and loved to draw.

Now, at 17, he's a very sensitive guy. He still struggles with theory of the mind, projecting future outcomes, putting himself in someone else's shoes, etc., but he tries really hard. He wants to do something professionally to help kids like himself. He gets upset when he slips and looses control of his temper (although now it's just verbal stuff.) He's an excessive worrier (scared of driving because he might get mad and hurt someone, scared of living on his own, etc.) He's most comfortable talking to people online rather than face-to-face, but he's making conscious efforts to be more sociable. He loves cars and the idea of rebuilding them (so long as he doesn't have to drive it.) People notice he's kind of quirky, but mostly in a geeky, awkward kind of way. He's very analytical and loves philosophical debates, digging for deeper meaning in things. Accomplishments, even small ones, mean a lot to him. Emotionally and maturity-wise, he's probably closer to a 14 or 15 year old than a 17 year old, but intellectually he's more like a 40-something guy. Think big, kind of clumsy, sweet, and over-sensitive, and you have my difficult child 2.


Thank you so much. B is missing a couple symptoms also. He doesn't easily remember phone numbers/birthdays at all. But I think it is because he just isn't interested in it, because he is obsessed with other number things. Clocks, timers, scales, calculators, etc. I don't see any outward physical clumsiness either.
 
B

brendan

Guest
It reallys shows itself differently in different people. Not to mention that the lines are pretty blurred between Asperger's, Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified and a few other diagnosis' that have very close overlapping symptoms.
Most Aspie's tend to be socially awkward or shy. My difficult child is out going, hyper verbal, good natured and more flexible than most. He is definitely not the average but at the core, his social skills are not what they should be for someone who is 26. He has an innocence and even a superficiality. He'd much rather talk about comic books, super heroes, video games, Halloween or whatever his interest, or sometimes obsession, is than ask how you are? or even care to know someone's name he just met.
They are self absorbed but not because they are bratty but because their world is totally revolving around them. They can't seem to see the world unless it relates to them.
I would suggest that you start to read, research, and join sites that are about Autistic spectrum disorders. None of our kids seem to be the same. Good luck.

Thank you Fran. I plan on taking him to a Psychoneurolgist soon and I hope to get some kind of diagnosis.
 
B

brendan

Guest
One thing I like to remember is that our kids are not aspergers, they are not defined by it. Having said that, there are some commonalities. The first of which is anxiety. This anxiety manfiests in different ways and can look like extreme defiance but often these kids are just afraid.

Manster is bright and funny and has a wicked sense of humor. He makes his friends laugh all the time. He doesn't like attention brought to him and embarasses easily. He also has adhd and mild tourettes so I think his behavior is worse than those with just AS. Luckily he is a street angel/house devil and saves his meltdowns for home. Don't even let anyone tell you aspies don't have emotions. They simply have trouble regulating them and expressing them. Actually I think they are often more sensitive than average. Manster is a great cook and a talented writer. He is also complicated and challenging and has been my greatest teacher on many levels.

I look forward to hearing from others.

Thank you ML. Brendan, also, can make his friends laugh when he chooses. I wish he could handle himself at school. He just says whatever he thinks and blurts it out. He cannot lie. Like if a host of a party asks if he had fun he'll say "No" He won't give a waitress his order...I could go on and on
 
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HaoZi

Guest
My daughter likely has AS but doesn't have the clumsisness either. She likes to draw, though, and works very hard at it, which might (along with video games) help improve her hand to eye coordination.
 
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