Thought I'd check in as well....

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by SunnyFlorida, Jun 23, 2008.

  1. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    Hi All!
    I saw Rita's post recently (I missed the "peace" as well ;), but glad things are basically ok.;))

    So.........I thought I'd check in and let you all know that I've sort of become a lurker.:batman:

    My years of being hooked to the computer took it's toll on my marriage, and I needed to stop and rekindle things. Guess I needed to do some more chasing;).'ll remember what I'm sayin'... right? Anyway.....things are better, not great, but better. As you all know, difficult child's can certainly get the best of us.

    difficult child 1 has finished his trade school and is looking for employment. He remains medically stable and hopefully drug free. My grandson is now 3yrs old. We see him every other weekend when they both stay with us. difficult child 1 is now 25yrs old. He is a mess dentally due to poor hygiene and dry mouth from his medications. This is a huge problem. He is still a work in progress and time will tell how well he succeeds.

    difficult child 2 is now easy child/difficult child. He is 20 and still living with girlfriend and her dad and brother. He had been employed for almost a year. He likes his job as a mechanic and enjoys working 4 10hr days with Fridays off. He calls husband on his own and plans things. He has intitiated a relationship with husband without my assistance. He calls frequently asking how we are and maintains a great relationship with us.

    Lurking is where I need to be right now, but please know that I truly appreciate all the help I have received in the past. I hope to become an active member in the future, just not so addicted.
    {{{{sunny hugs}}}
  2. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Sunny, it's great to see you. If you have to be absent from here, I'm delighted to read that it's because you've been chasing husband around the room...and vice versa ;) Good for you!

    It sure sounds like there is other good news coming from the Sunny household. Reading this is a lovely way to start my day.

    Take care.

  3. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    It is SO good to "see" you.
  4. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Yes I am glad to see you too! I was thinking about you. These days I have tried not to post as much either because it just makes me obsess about what I cant control - however it is so nice to have when you need a friend that understands - I will let everyone know what develops with my son. Good to hear from you!
  5. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    You and your hubby should have a mojito and sit under a palm tree....ahhh...enjoy life as much as possible...if I wasn't prone to migraines...this is what I would do. Very happy to hear that you guys are taking more time for one another. As it should be!!!!

    Re: computer addiction
    When I get too attached to my computer, I put a timer next to it. I allow x amount of minutes per day for play time and nothing more.

    Good to hear from you!

    HAVE FUN!!!!
  6. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Sunny--I so understand the dental mess. I'm dealing with the aftermess of difficult child's years of neglect (his own), drugs, and medications. PM me and I will tell you our solution.
  7. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Hey Sunny! Glad you checked in...and you're getting chased. ;)

  8. ScentofCedar

    ScentofCedar New Member

    Problems with the kids DOES take a toll, Sunny. Wondering whether one or the other of us has failed as a parent takes the shine off real quick. husband (whom you've met!) :) and I stayed together in spite of, not because of, the way we felt about each other for awhile, there. The only things that kept us slugging it out together during that time were the problems with the kids and the taking care of the grandchildren. Any time we did have an uninterrupted month or two ~ and believe me, there was a time when that was all we had, year after year ~ our lives had taken such separate paths that it was difficult to come back together on anything BUT the kids or the grandchildren.

    We made it through, Sunny.

    But it takes a long time to really feel it again.

    I think both husband and I are glad we stuck it out.

    I think there was a time when I was addicted to this site, too. This was the one place I could go where those I was interacting with understood, and it made all the difference in the world for me.

    I am not here as often as I used to be, either.

    Wishing you and yours well, Sunny.

  9. Star*

    Star* call 911

    You suppose you could write a little "how to" manual on the chasing thing? lol

    Good to see you Sunny - Hope all is well. ;)
  10. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    It's good to see you, Sunny. I think it's like Barbara said, when they are gone, you have spent so many years making your lives about your difficult children, it's difficult to figure out how to be a couple - or yourself - again, and it really takes an active effort.

    When I read Sunny's thoughts, though, it made me think of Steely. All of our lives change. Our own roles in our lives change. It happens before we even know it's done. But, as much of a struggle as it can be, hopefully we change and grow for the better. (It's nicer when you can include your spouse in that change.) Steely - you hear me? Your life is changing, and it will get better.