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Parent Emeritus
Thought I'd give an update
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<blockquote data-quote="HeadlightsMom" data-source="post: 635989" data-attributes="member: 18284"><p>GuideMe -- First, thinking of you with a full heart. As others have said, you just plain don't deserve that.</p><p></p><p>Second, I think I'm coming to this story mid-way through. I understand your difficult child is an adult and abusive. I understand that you mention possibly having her evicted. </p><p></p><p>My question is this....... If it's your home and she's an adult, why can't you boot her out without getting an eviction? Can you just kick her out? I'm guessing, though, that if you do that, you may want to have a safety plan of some sort in place prior to doing it. Take precautions. Have others with you?</p><p></p><p>Ya know, I'm trying to think of how it happened when we booted our 16-yo difficult child out. It was right after another bizarro police incident and he was high. A huge fight erupted and I said, "That's it, you're OUT! NOW!" He refused to go and I knew I had to remove myself from our home before it got worse. So, I stepped outside and walked around the block (with phone in hand -- ALWAYS HAVE PHONE IN HAND FOR 911 CALL, IF NEEDED). I returned 10-15 min later and he stormed out saying he didn't have to take this any more. He was on probation and, apparently, we both called his probation officer at same time (I on my cell phone, he on our landline) leaving messages that he had to go. PO called back pronto (landline) and told him to go to his sister's house. He left -- didn't even pack.</p><p></p><p>It was a very tense event, but, in the long run, it set a new series of precedents that remain in place. He has stayed here in short spurts, but he has never (and will never) live here again. We, like you, feel good about helping him from afar whenever it's wise. </p><p></p><p>But we need our home to be a safe sanctuary. We all wish that for you, too, GM. Like Scent of Cedar said, stay close to this site and let us know how you're doing. We're here, we care, and we support you!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HeadlightsMom, post: 635989, member: 18284"] GuideMe -- First, thinking of you with a full heart. As others have said, you just plain don't deserve that. Second, I think I'm coming to this story mid-way through. I understand your difficult child is an adult and abusive. I understand that you mention possibly having her evicted. My question is this....... If it's your home and she's an adult, why can't you boot her out without getting an eviction? Can you just kick her out? I'm guessing, though, that if you do that, you may want to have a safety plan of some sort in place prior to doing it. Take precautions. Have others with you? Ya know, I'm trying to think of how it happened when we booted our 16-yo difficult child out. It was right after another bizarro police incident and he was high. A huge fight erupted and I said, "That's it, you're OUT! NOW!" He refused to go and I knew I had to remove myself from our home before it got worse. So, I stepped outside and walked around the block (with phone in hand -- ALWAYS HAVE PHONE IN HAND FOR 911 CALL, IF NEEDED). I returned 10-15 min later and he stormed out saying he didn't have to take this any more. He was on probation and, apparently, we both called his probation officer at same time (I on my cell phone, he on our landline) leaving messages that he had to go. PO called back pronto (landline) and told him to go to his sister's house. He left -- didn't even pack. It was a very tense event, but, in the long run, it set a new series of precedents that remain in place. He has stayed here in short spurts, but he has never (and will never) live here again. We, like you, feel good about helping him from afar whenever it's wise. But we need our home to be a safe sanctuary. We all wish that for you, too, GM. Like Scent of Cedar said, stay close to this site and let us know how you're doing. We're here, we care, and we support you! [/QUOTE]
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