Thought this time was going to be easier... right...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by tammybackagain, Nov 20, 2012.

  1. tammybackagain

    tammybackagain New Member

    Sos G/difficult child has been acting up a little for few days... but figured it was just being a "boy" today told him I expected him to be good or else next few days off school will not be good. well phone rings during "nap" time for me. School come pick him up. He didn't like movie. so acted up hit teacher principal and hid from both. sitting in time out now. TV I get to watch what I want for next 6 days. Had officer come over and talk to him he still don't think he did anything wrong. thanks for letting me vent, this is second time around for me and trying to do it right this time.... although difficult child#1 has been trying to help telling ggfg that if he behaves for 2 months more days good than bad he will buy him a Xbox... (told him i've been good i want a WII) lol j
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Darn. Those phone calls are truly awful to get. I hope he can hold it together when at home.
  3. tammybackagain

    tammybackagain New Member

    feel mean, he came home at 11, sat in time out, then ate lunch, then back to time out till school out now in room no electronics or TV's just Train set and cars.
  4. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    One thing that I learned with my difficult child is that simply telling him to "be good" does not always work because in his mind he WAS good and he couldn't understand why the rest of the world doesn't see it his way. And telling him to be good for two moinths is a very long time, and sometimes they just don't have the concept of exactly how long that is

    I think that you have to be very specific about what you expect of him. Give him a list of what your expectations are of what he should be doing and what he shouldn't be doing. See if the teacher will get on board with something along those lines. The word "good" is subjective. He needs to understand what exactly you want of him when you want him to "be good". Know what I mean??
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    If my son is told he has to behave a certain way for x amount of time..

    ESPECIALLY if is offered a powerful reward, the pressure of that guarantees he will not earn it, early on......

    I.agree that saying be good or polite or respectful all are words that are too general for a difficult child and also so subjective to those judging him that one person may think a small infraction is a violation of the day and others may not.
    Also if he has an issue early in a given day, what is the incentive to do well for the rest of the day. My son would actually say, "What's the point?"

    Forgive me, I don't know your history. Has this son had any evaluations to help figure out what his challenges are? If I put my son in that scenario anything from the volume or sounds in the movie could have set him off plus he rarely can watch a movie with alot of talking because of the language processing challenges. It's just too fast.

    He is offered an option on Friday movie day....he can be on the computer with ear phones or in another room with an ipad or book.

    Any way your S/O could use more of the collaborative problem solving idea ....and start by targeting a specific challenge? ( a la The Explosive Child, Ross Greene type of idea....prioritize what behaviors to target and reward building skills that will allow him another way to handle things)??
  6. tammybackagain

    tammybackagain New Member

    We have been working with him basicly his mom abandoned him he has ADHD He does decent in school and does get daily reward for being good "computer time" this is an added incentive his normal IP teacher was out sick so he decided to act up. he is my difficult child's Son, that due to housing difficult child can't take, 2 girls and 2 bedroom house. so we have him.