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Thoughts? Foster Parents, Your Thoughts?
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<blockquote data-quote="dreamer" data-source="post: 11940" data-attributes="member: 1697"><p>I have been confused by the Ks all along, but I am not sure if I misunderstood or missed some of the stuff. I thought first they wanted to KEEP GG2 permanantly--and even went to court and said so? I do not remember if they wanted to adopt him, but am thinking they did want to adopt him.....but then you said no?? and then not long after- they did NOT want him AT ALL.....but somewhere in there first difficult child 2 wanted to stay with them permanant, but then didn't want to and made accusations against them, so they lost him to new placement? </p><p></p><p>I for one have VERY little trust in case managers etc.....but I am biased by my personal experiences and from reading the records, charts and files from my oldest difficult child, youngest, me, and husband. There was so little facts and truth about anything in ANY of our records----even about the simplest tiniest things-----to the point I was certain they gave us the wrong files. (and of course charged us per page to the tune of several thousands of dollars) </p><p>None of the medications were right, one of the names of workers tdocs etc were right, not even the respite agency....and any incidents? what we were TOLD in person by those people did not match up AT ALL to what was in the files. They had us saying things we never said and did not show the things we really did say. </p><p>So---I have zero trust and I always assumed it was that way becuz then it would be such a nitemare mess of paperwork, it would be useless....but it maybe was some warped way for them to CYA? so what I eventually decided was it was somuch pass the buck, CYA and get this out of being MY problem, move it along. </p><p>Yes we did have a respite worker the county sent to us that WE had called CPS on several times for beating her foster kids..she lived across the street from us......I am certain she was not quite right, she hollered across the street to me one day when son was a toddler telling me he was not hers and to go away....um, we were going from our car into our house, we were NOT anywhere near her. </p><p>BUT somehow she HAD fosters AND she was a county supplied respite worker. </p><p></p><p>So- who knows what the REAL story was when Ks and your difficult child 2 parted ways. Yeah, you have your "official story" and you have GFG2s story and I suppose by now you have Mrs Ks story.........and maybe somewhere in between those stories might be parts of the truth. </p><p>And maybe your GFG2s accusations were valid and legit? even liars and manipulators CAN tell the truth sometimes. (yes sadly, how does anyone know when they cry wolf too often?)</p><p></p><p>Anyway, all that to say this- I was concerned when first Ks seemed to want him permanantly and then so very quickly they seemed to let go. seeemed to me they let go far far too easily for someone who had just so recently wanted to keep him. (altho- again- I might have it wrong, might have missed some)</p><p></p><p>Yes, it does sound like something is VERY VERY not right....</p><p>I do understand what Loth said.....and yes, that would SEEM to be the most humane..... but I tend to wonder what MWM said---if Mrs K wanted visitation or whatever------did she even ASK the authorities etc? if not WHY NOT? It does seeem to me that when a child is the age of difficult child 2 I would think (but could be wrong) that if the child wanted to have a relationship with the fosters-----so long as nothing untoward went on, maybe it could be granted.....but has anyone asked difficult child 2 what HE would want re this situation? -in PRIVATE where he would not have to face the Ks? </p><p>I sure hope she does not have any other fosters and hope she is not getting any more if she cannot let go of them per the rules for fostering. I never fostered altho was screeened 20 yrs ago---exactly becuz I feared I would have difficulty letting go. (which IS unfair to the children and to the parents)</p><p></p><p>The more I hear of other peoples problems with fosters, RTCs etc.the more glad I am I refused to be swayed to any of those options, to me they all sound more difficult, more chaaotic and more harmful to everyone involved than ever. </p><p>Janna? it sounds like a NITEMARE. I am sorry you have to be dealing with this bogus crap. I am sure this is NOT what you had in mind.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dreamer, post: 11940, member: 1697"] I have been confused by the Ks all along, but I am not sure if I misunderstood or missed some of the stuff. I thought first they wanted to KEEP GG2 permanantly--and even went to court and said so? I do not remember if they wanted to adopt him, but am thinking they did want to adopt him.....but then you said no?? and then not long after- they did NOT want him AT ALL.....but somewhere in there first difficult child 2 wanted to stay with them permanant, but then didn't want to and made accusations against them, so they lost him to new placement? I for one have VERY little trust in case managers etc.....but I am biased by my personal experiences and from reading the records, charts and files from my oldest difficult child, youngest, me, and husband. There was so little facts and truth about anything in ANY of our records----even about the simplest tiniest things-----to the point I was certain they gave us the wrong files. (and of course charged us per page to the tune of several thousands of dollars) None of the medications were right, one of the names of workers tdocs etc were right, not even the respite agency....and any incidents? what we were TOLD in person by those people did not match up AT ALL to what was in the files. They had us saying things we never said and did not show the things we really did say. So---I have zero trust and I always assumed it was that way becuz then it would be such a nitemare mess of paperwork, it would be useless....but it maybe was some warped way for them to CYA? so what I eventually decided was it was somuch pass the buck, CYA and get this out of being MY problem, move it along. Yes we did have a respite worker the county sent to us that WE had called CPS on several times for beating her foster kids..she lived across the street from us......I am certain she was not quite right, she hollered across the street to me one day when son was a toddler telling me he was not hers and to go away....um, we were going from our car into our house, we were NOT anywhere near her. BUT somehow she HAD fosters AND she was a county supplied respite worker. So- who knows what the REAL story was when Ks and your difficult child 2 parted ways. Yeah, you have your "official story" and you have GFG2s story and I suppose by now you have Mrs Ks story.........and maybe somewhere in between those stories might be parts of the truth. And maybe your GFG2s accusations were valid and legit? even liars and manipulators CAN tell the truth sometimes. (yes sadly, how does anyone know when they cry wolf too often?) Anyway, all that to say this- I was concerned when first Ks seemed to want him permanantly and then so very quickly they seemed to let go. seeemed to me they let go far far too easily for someone who had just so recently wanted to keep him. (altho- again- I might have it wrong, might have missed some) Yes, it does sound like something is VERY VERY not right.... I do understand what Loth said.....and yes, that would SEEM to be the most humane..... but I tend to wonder what MWM said---if Mrs K wanted visitation or whatever------did she even ASK the authorities etc? if not WHY NOT? It does seeem to me that when a child is the age of difficult child 2 I would think (but could be wrong) that if the child wanted to have a relationship with the fosters-----so long as nothing untoward went on, maybe it could be granted.....but has anyone asked difficult child 2 what HE would want re this situation? -in PRIVATE where he would not have to face the Ks? I sure hope she does not have any other fosters and hope she is not getting any more if she cannot let go of them per the rules for fostering. I never fostered altho was screeened 20 yrs ago---exactly becuz I feared I would have difficulty letting go. (which IS unfair to the children and to the parents) The more I hear of other peoples problems with fosters, RTCs etc.the more glad I am I refused to be swayed to any of those options, to me they all sound more difficult, more chaaotic and more harmful to everyone involved than ever. Janna? it sounds like a NITEMARE. I am sorry you have to be dealing with this bogus crap. I am sure this is NOT what you had in mind. [/QUOTE]
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