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<blockquote data-quote="JMom" data-source="post: 760946" data-attributes="member: 19892"><p>Hi Waiting,</p><p></p><p>Something that helped me when my son was addicted and acting out was to ask myself-"what would you do if a stranger/friend or acquaintance did this to you (said this to you)? Would it change how you react? We can often get caught up in the love side of things. We, as parents have a longing to provide food, shelter, and clothing. Would you provide those things to someone who did this to you or your family, if they were not your children?</p><p></p><p>I completely understand buying time. We have probably all done it a time or two or three. I encourage you to see a counselor to gain strength. I am proud of you for going to the police. I have done it and it is gut-wrenching but sometimes necessary. </p><p></p><p>If you feel the need to balance what help you have given your daughter with that of your son, perhaps scale it back to something matching his skills. Does he work? If so, what can he afford? You might be doing him a favor to teach him to live within his means. You will not always be there to be so generous. I doubt anyone will step forward to pay his rent when you are unwilling or unable.</p><p></p><p>I am astounded by your generosity. I sense that you are someone that the children (young adults) lean on for advice, care, concern, and financial stability. Please know that you are STILL that person, even if you have to withhold or limit funds. I am proud of you for reaching out. We have all leaned on one another for support here. Continue to visit, share and keep us updated. I think you are on the right path and have no doubt that you will be stronger than ever in no time. </p><p>Hugs,</p><p>JMOM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JMom, post: 760946, member: 19892"] Hi Waiting, Something that helped me when my son was addicted and acting out was to ask myself-"what would you do if a stranger/friend or acquaintance did this to you (said this to you)? Would it change how you react? We can often get caught up in the love side of things. We, as parents have a longing to provide food, shelter, and clothing. Would you provide those things to someone who did this to you or your family, if they were not your children? I completely understand buying time. We have probably all done it a time or two or three. I encourage you to see a counselor to gain strength. I am proud of you for going to the police. I have done it and it is gut-wrenching but sometimes necessary. If you feel the need to balance what help you have given your daughter with that of your son, perhaps scale it back to something matching his skills. Does he work? If so, what can he afford? You might be doing him a favor to teach him to live within his means. You will not always be there to be so generous. I doubt anyone will step forward to pay his rent when you are unwilling or unable. I am astounded by your generosity. I sense that you are someone that the children (young adults) lean on for advice, care, concern, and financial stability. Please know that you are STILL that person, even if you have to withhold or limit funds. I am proud of you for reaching out. We have all leaned on one another for support here. Continue to visit, share and keep us updated. I think you are on the right path and have no doubt that you will be stronger than ever in no time. Hugs, JMOM [/QUOTE]
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