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Parent Emeritus
Three girls of my own and a homeless teen
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 752794" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>He isn't a fun dad.</p><p></p><p>I am guessing that he is a man-child who is reliving his abandonment as a child and trying to fix it by taking people in and making YOU care for them. He needs SERIOUS therapy in my opinion. Has he had any?</p><p></p><p>An addict is always an addict. The addict has certain personality traits one being self-centeredness. There are many others. I recommend going to Al Anon or Nar Anon. I go and learned so much. An addict can be sober for decades, but is still an addict.</p><p></p><p>in my opinion this marriage is in big trouble as your husband keeps trying to save his own inner child by rescuing people....but expecting YOU to do the hard work. "Fun Dad" who doesn't discipline is a big child, not a father. Fathers set boundaries for their children.</p><p></p><p> It seems that Husband will keep bringing home people to rescue whom YOU have to care for...until he heals his own issues.</p><p></p><p>My own layman's take on this is that the marriage is very dysfunctional and abusive to you. You have no say. You do what your husband says to do or he will leave. That's sort of blackmail.</p><p></p><p>I hope you go for therapy. Sometimes our partners can make unreasonable demands of us yet, because we live with the person, we start to think that we are wrong and our partner is right....we are the bad one. We think.</p><p></p><p>A neutral third party, like a good therapist, can help us see things more realistically and help us cope.</p><p></p><p>Nothing changes if we don't change.</p><p></p><p>God bless you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 752794, member: 23706"] He isn't a fun dad. I am guessing that he is a man-child who is reliving his abandonment as a child and trying to fix it by taking people in and making YOU care for them. He needs SERIOUS therapy in my opinion. Has he had any? An addict is always an addict. The addict has certain personality traits one being self-centeredness. There are many others. I recommend going to Al Anon or Nar Anon. I go and learned so much. An addict can be sober for decades, but is still an addict. in my opinion this marriage is in big trouble as your husband keeps trying to save his own inner child by rescuing people....but expecting YOU to do the hard work. "Fun Dad" who doesn't discipline is a big child, not a father. Fathers set boundaries for their children. It seems that Husband will keep bringing home people to rescue whom YOU have to care for...until he heals his own issues. My own layman's take on this is that the marriage is very dysfunctional and abusive to you. You have no say. You do what your husband says to do or he will leave. That's sort of blackmail. I hope you go for therapy. Sometimes our partners can make unreasonable demands of us yet, because we live with the person, we start to think that we are wrong and our partner is right....we are the bad one. We think. A neutral third party, like a good therapist, can help us see things more realistically and help us cope. Nothing changes if we don't change. God bless you. [/QUOTE]
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Three girls of my own and a homeless teen
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