Threw her out today

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by elizabrary, Sep 30, 2011.

  1. elizabrary

    elizabrary Member

    It's been a rough month with-Kat- rougher than usual because she started having some serious internal medical issues that the doctors. were having trouble diagnosing and resolving. in my opinion they didn't take her too seriously at first because she's young, thin as a rail, tatooed and on Medicaid. I think they thought she was pain medications shopping, but after a couple weeks things got better, but she had been unable to work, so I extended her move out date to the end of Oct. Well, this Wed. evening she was supposed to be at class and I was babysitting KK (who has started calling me "Mommy") but I found out she had skipped class and gone to meet her last boyfriend- the awesome guy who has refused to give her any of her personal belongings back since she moved out of the house she was living in with-him and his newest girlfriend. I absolutely lost it with her and she kept lying and saying she went to class, blah, blah, blah- you know the drill. So I have been very unhappy with her. Today we were going to run some errands since I was off work and she wanted to use the car to go to a BBQ tonight and was taking KK with-her. Of course, her car isn't working again, so I said OK. We got into an argument because she had used my towels (one of about 1,000 little things she does repeatedly that bother me that I have repeatedly asked her not to do) and it blew up into a huge fight. The last straw was when I told her she could not go with me to run errands and could not use the car tonight. She replied, "Fine, I'll get a ride. I'm not gonna keep my a&% home because you're some crazy b*tch." That was it. I told her to get out. I have had it with her ridiculous behavior.

    When I got home she had left me this note about how awful I am and how she doesn't need me for anything- she has a job, she makes money. She also told me she called my mother and told her everything. Of course my mom had called the house because she was worried, so I called her back. I knew Kat was trying to get money out of her. She didn't come right out and ask, but told her she only had $3, no car and was going to pawn a CD player from her car. My mom was practically hysterical and wanted to know where she could send her some money. I told her emphatically DO NOT SEND HER MONEY. My mom is worried about KK, and I am worried sick about her too, but there's nothing we can do at this point. I'm trying to stay focused on me and not lose it, but this is pretty bad. Thanks- I just needed to get all this out!
  2. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    {hugs} You did the right thing, try to stay busy.
  3. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry Eliz. Your scene sounds all too familiar, unfortunately. I know that the fact it "ended" like this is extremely stressful and painful, but I hope it also brought you some sense of relief, somewhere inside. It can be a strange contradiction, the combination of worry, pain, sadness, and relief.

  4. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I am so sorry that this is happening and that a child is in the middle of it. If your and your mom's worries are for the child's welfare perhaps it is time to consider getting CPS involved. I understand all the reasons why someone would not want to do this; but I also understand why sometimes it is the best course of action. -RM
  5. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Everytime I hear one of these stories I am struck by how they are all the same and the players just change. It's always our fault because we are crazy b*******. Their lies and behavior are never the problem.

    It was coming to this so now it's time for her to grow up.

  6. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry things got to this point, Eliza. Many hugs.
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    You have made a well thought out decision not an emotional reaction to a circumstance. Just remind yourself that you are doing this for her..not against her. Sending supportive thoughts your way. Hugs. DDD
  8. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I'm so sorry for all of the struggle you are going through. I have not experienced this but it seems so difficult. Will keep you in my thoughts.
  9. elizabrary

    elizabrary Member

    Thanks everybody! Your words of support are more helpful than you can imagine! And RM- I have gotten CPS involved twice before, so I won't hesitate to do it again. Kat told my mother she is staying at a friend's house, and if that's true I don't feel too bad about it because this friend is stable. I actually believe it too because I know she picked Kat up at my house, and honestly she is about the only sane person left who will still have anything to do with-Kat. It's a tremendous worry to me, but at the same time a relief as you said Crazy. It is so much more peaceful in my home and I actually looked forward to coming home after work today, which I haven't done in several months. Although I'm sad and concerned I definitely see a silver lining to this cloud- some peace for me!
  10. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    I am so glad you are able to finally have some peace!!

    I know it is hard right now, but hang in there.

    It is true, all of our difficult children seem to have the same rationalization - it is alway our fault - never ours. Sigh. Hugs.....
  11. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

  12. justtired

    justtired New Member

    and more (((hugs)))..