Ticked at the school and feeling bad for Tink

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Big Bad Kitty, May 6, 2008.

  1. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    So last night, upon going through Tink's take-home folder, I found a note saying that this week was teacher appreciation week.

    Great! I don't think the teachers get nearly enough appreciation. And I really do like Tink's teacher.

    It goes on to say please send a flower with each student to class on Tuesday, May 6th. Because the teachers will each have an empty vase on their desks and then the kids can put the flowers in there for their teacher.

    Very sweet idea. Except I am reading this note on the evening of the 5th.

    See, she came home, and the one friend that she gets along with (remember, she is a difficult child and does not get along with all that many kids) was able to play, so I let her play. She got home at 6, and we had dinner. at 7 we did homework. By 7:30 she was in the shower and I was reading the note. Yeah, I'm not running out to the store right now to get a flower. Besides (and not that this is any of their business), I am broke as a joke, and I am down to doing things like rationing my gas for a trip to the dentist tomorrow and a trip to the psychiatrist Thursday. I don't have the luxury of just running out whenever I feel like it. It is embarrassing and it stinks to high heaven, but that is how it is. And then to get this note the day before they wanted the flowers?

    They couldn't have sent this note home, oh, say last Friday?

    So I wrote a note back, right on their note, saying that while I very much appreciate Mrs. R., a little more notice would have been nice. We picked up the same little girl that she played with yesterday (we carpool) and drove to school. She didn't have a flower either.

    I'm looking around at the kids on the playground, and early EVERY kid had flowers. Now I feel bad. This other girl is not in Tink's class, so it's possible that each of them may be the only kid in their respective classes without a flower. I really feel awful.

    I did see a few kids with more than one flower (makes me wonder if there would have even been any at the store if I had gone) so I can hope that one child can share, or something.

    Argh. Nothing I can do about it. Just venting.
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I hate last minute notice for stuff like this. It simply isn't fair to parents!! OR KIDS -- kids have no control over whether their parents can do this or not.

    Maybe sometime next week you can make a craft with Tink for her teacher. I can send you some links to craft sites if you want.

    Our school has Thursday Folders. Every thurs ALL the papers come home. And if it is a friday event it MUST be in the folder a week before, otherwise teh school refuses to send it home.

    Hugs to you and Tink.

    I hope the other kids share flowers or dont' make her feel bad.


  3. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    If it comes up ever again -

    Have her draw a flower,

    Have her cut and paste a flower

    -look for a weed - a dandelion is still a flower.

    Or hand her an apple with a note and tell her that one time - at band camp - this apple WAS a flower.

    Hugs -

    Gosh I was thinking - AT LEAST my precious brought the note HOME!!!!!!! GO TINK!!!! Dude never brought any notes home - and that is probably why I can think on my feet - like a cat out of a 10th story window to a trampoline below - and after your video yesterday? I would have CAT YODELED.....I'm still laughing.

    ps. The slice marks on my face and arms have determined that my cat, while not the sharpest rock in the litterbox - does not enjoy yodeling. NOT AT ALL. - The dog thought it was hysterical though.
  4. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    I think it is really pathetic when the school can't get it's act together and give parents appropriate notice when students are supposed to bring in items!!! I would be angry too!!!

    I like Susie's idea of letting Tink make something for her teacher. When easy child was about Tink's age, I gave her an inexpensive picture frame and cut a piece of construction paper to fit inside it. easy child drew her teacher a picture and wrote a short note letting her know how much she appreciated her. The teacher kept the frame on her desk for the rest of the school year. easy child said that it was still there the following year too.

    Poor Tink!!! I hope her day went well in spite of her not having a flower. Give her a big hug from her "board auntie."

    Let us know how things went. WFEN
  5. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    yes I will admitt I was thinking "borrow" a flower if you saw one growing about, LOL

    We did this idea one year but instead of flowers wach student had to bring in a piece of fruit (we had a range of pinapples to clementines) and we supplied the basket.
  6. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    I hate when they give no notice as well BBK. The thought of teacher appreciation week too at times. Last year our school here did a whole week of it and each day had planned activities and sent home a newsletter with what the kids needed to do on each day (one activity was to simply give the teacher a hug, the other was an activity with tracing the kids hand and doing something, parents were to send a note into teacher a day saying appreciative things, etc.). The PTA actually had the parents also send in a donation from each family (what ever they could afford or not up to $5) so that on Friday they could provide breakfast for all the teachers. This year they have done absolutely nothing and made no mention of it. Kind of makes me go hmmmmm?

    You're right though in how it might make the child feel (let alone how we as parents might feel in our situations).

    I'll add a thought to those who have made suggestions too since it wasn't mentioned yet. How about the old fashioned flowers made out of tissues? Taking a few of them and folding them accordian style and then tying them off in the center with string/yarn/bag tie/pipe cleaner and then carefully pulling apart each layer to create the beautiful bloom?

  7. Josie

    Josie Active Member

    I would guess it is another mom who put this together at the last minute and not an official school request. I would be unhappy about the last minute notice as well.

    My daughter's class was asked to bring in something little every day all week, ranging from a flower to a spa item. And a letter of appreciation to the teacher, written by the child.
  8. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    We don't get "teacher appreciation week" here. I'm rather glad, in fact. If we appreciate a teacher, we do this sort of thing anyway. And if we don't - well, it saves either hypocrisy or embarrassment.

    I sometimes had to work really hard to stay on good terms with difficult child 3's teachers. Sometimes it was easy, because I could see how hard they wee trying too. At other times it was very difficult because I know them all personally and I know who are the really lazy, posterior-covering types who only did more damage to difficult child 3 in their zeal to do as little as possible. In a lot of those cases, they had also taught easy child and/or difficult child 1 (yes, they have been at this school that long!) and we'd had problems then, too. Especially with easy child, who hated being bored at school, and these teachers did absolutely nothing to keep her active brain stimulated. How on earth would I feel, if I got a letter home asking me to show my appreciation? And what sort of message would it be sending my child? Mind you, I always have done my best to not let my child see how I really feel about their teacher. It's hard enough having to walk such a tightrope and maintain some integrity. Interestingly, now these older kids are adults, they express their opinions very firmly. When difficult child 3 got the same teachers, easy child & difficult child 1 were both saying, "You have to move him out of that school, Mum." Which of course we eventually did - first to a school where the class teacher was a gem, and for whom I showed appreciation as often as possible; and then to the current correspondence school.

    One thing I have always done, though - I made it clear that I know having my little treasure of a difficult child in their class is a strain, even for the lazy ones. So I supplied them with jokes. We get a lot of good jokes sent to us (husband posted on in Healthful Living a few days ago, about Meaty Bites) and I would collect the best to personally deliver to the teacher's staffroom. There is no way I would send THESE in with a child, these jokes can be a bit too naughty. But naughty or not - they had to be funny as well.

    Despite how I have felt about the worst teachers, they do have a good sense of humour, and this has turned out to be our common ground. One of them came to me in a mix of shock and humour, when easy child told him a rather risque limerick (she was 8 at the time). She'd been coming home with the typical lavatory 'humour' of young children and I had explained to her that dirty words are not funny in themselves. If you want to include them in a joke, the joke has to need them for its humour to make their use justified. If you could tell the joke without the toilet words, I said, then the joke doesn't need it and should go without. She should only use such words if the joke couldn't do without, and the joke had to be REALLY funny to justify it.
    That's how I told her the limerick - as an explanation. I had never expected her to tell it to her teacher when they were studying limericks in class!
    "There was a young man from Australia,
    Who painted his rear like a dahlia.
    The texture was fine,
    Likewise the design,
    But the smell on the whole was a failure."

    easy child liked the pun in the last line especially. The teacher - he liked it once he realised why I'd told it to her, and ever since then I have been supplying him and the rest of the staff with humour.

    (by the way - we normally do pronounce "dahlia" to rhyme with "Australia".)

    So, to cut a long story short (too late! they cried) - send in some jokes, in a plain brown envelope, marked "Staff - eyes only".

  9. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Our PTO sent a note home a couple of weeks ago. It's a very nice idea and many children at our school don't bring them in and that is o.k. Mostly, kids bring in a flower from their gardens and I have had kids draw them and bring in dandelions that are beautiful.
  10. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    BBK, how did Tink handle not having a flower? If she was really upset, do have her draw a beautiful flower to give her teacher. Tell her to take her time. She can always give it to her next Monday so that she'll have the weekend to pick the right colors (and glitter, of course).

    My daughter just never brought the notes home -- she'd always be afraid there'd be something that would create "work" for her or get her in trouble. In second grade, she was heartbroken to not have been able to participate in this special week for her teacher. She did take the weekend to draw a flower, a piece of fruit, make a special soap for her teacher. She gave it to her teacher after school. My daughter may have missed the teacher appreciation week but she was able to let her teacher know how special she was and ultimately felt good about herself.
  11. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Well as it turned out, there were administrators in the building who gave flowers to the kids that had none. Which I think was great, since Tink was not the only child in her class who did not have one after all (and obviously not the only one in the school!)

    She and her friend did say (on the way to school) well let's just pick one. They were eyeing tulips growing in front yards on the way to school. I really wanted to discourage them from taking other people's flowers! I had thought about sending a paper flower or something, but I thought if it eneded up in a vase full of water, it would just disintegrate. If I had thought about it, I would have clipped some lilacs off the bush growing along the side of the building. they are just blooming (and they smell fantastic; and after all, we live in the lilac village!)

    But all is well that ends well. Thank you all for the ideas and the support.

    Oh, by the way...they sent home another note today REMINDING us to send a flower. Today. Seems they just did not get their papers back from Kinko's on time ;)
  12. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    Thanks for the update. I'm glad the administrators made sure every child had a flower. Sometimes the schools actually have their act together. Well, almost... :hammer: - Either they didn't get their papers back from Kinko's on time or maybe they have early onset dementia, lol!!!

    Anyway, I'm glad Tink had a flower to put in the vase. WFEN
  13. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    Call me a school apologist, but I have to speak up for schools that send notices at "the last minute". Believe me I totally get where you guys are coming from, but I see it from the other side too.

    First off, many parents never see the notices because they never venture into their kid's backpacks. You should see the inside of some kid's backpacks. How they can find anything without a search party is beyond me.

    The most common is the flyer being set aside and then completely forgotten. Especially if it's done on a friday before a weekend.

    I wish more parents were like you guys. The reality is that they are not. So, cut schools come slack, eh?:peaceout:
  14. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    BBK, thanks for the update. Thankfully the school anticipated that some children wouldn't have flowers for whatever reason, and filled in the gap.

    DazedandConfused, I can understand your point. difficult child's school used to provide a communication book for each student at the beginning of the school year, with a page for each day, a section for each class, and places for general comments, notes from the teacher and notes from the parents. School announcements, flyers, permission slips etc. were all stapled inside the agenda. It made it much easier to keep track.
  15. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Dazed, I remember helping out a friend of mine by taking her son from one school to another a couple days a week. He was about 4. He had a backpack that was just stuffed with papers. Each time I saw him, there were more papers in it. I could not get over it! She never ever went through them. And neither school ever said anything. Yikes.