Tigger's violin teacher dropped him

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by JJJ, Jul 14, 2008.

  1. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    husband took Tigger to his violin lesson today and when I got home there was an e-mail from the teacher saying she wasn't willing to work with him any longer. She did refer us to her teacher saying that he has a greater teaching background and is willing to work with Tigger. Problem is he's an hour away -- there is no way Tigger will be able to focus after an hour in the car.

    Tigger wasn't bad during lessons, just required a lot of redirection. It does has more to do with her limitations (she's only 23 and doesn't have a lot of experience as she is still a student herself) as she readily admits that, but it still makes me sad.
  2. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Awww, I'm so sorry.
    It will be one of those things that will pay off later, I hope. Better than having her lose her temper with-him or something. I wish the other teacher lived closer.
    That's really neat that Tigger is taking violin, by the way.
  3. Christy

    Christy New Member

    Sorry. That is really a bummer. It is so hard to find extracuricular activities for our difficult children. I hope you can find a new teacher that is close to you.

    Good Luck
  4. BestICan

    BestICan This community rocks.

    I spend a lot of time with classical musicians, and I also am friends with a woman who teaches piano to kids. I hope you believe me when I tell you: It really isn't Tigger, it's the teacher!

    Many classical musicians that I know (and love) have such a stick up you-know-where. They thrive on order and just *don't* know how to handle chaos, even if it's just an active child who needs redirection. This is why they are classical musicians and not rock, or jazz musicians, who do things like (gasp!) improvise and (double gasp) move their bodies while they play!

    OK, I admit. I'm a musician myself, and when it comes to music, I have the stick firmly planted as well. That's why I wouldn't even TRY to teach kids!

    I'm sorry this teacher wasn't a good fit. I think that's all it was, though - a poor fit. Maybe Tigger wants to try guitar? Or bluegrass mandolin - isn't that strung the same as violin? Maybe he'll get a more relaxed teacher.
  5. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    I understand it's sad, but in the long run Tigger will probably benefit from someone who is better equipped to work with outside the box kids. I don't think you have to use this person who is an hour away. I'm sure there are other options.

    What about a local college or university - that's usually a great place to find folks to give kids lessons. An energetic music major would love the chance to make some extra cash. We went that route for easy child's violin and I've had a number of friends who have done it as well. You can call the music department and "post a job".

    Good luck finding a new teacher.

  6. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Triple J,

    So sorry to hear about this. We have a wonderful music academy here in town that teaches to all children & has grants on top of that. We'd like to sign kt up for guitar lessons this coming fall if she continues to show an interest in her guitar.

    Hope you can find an alternative (heck my brother in law teaches violin & his son is autistic - wish we lived closer).
  7. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am so sorry. I hope you can find an alternative for Tigger.

  8. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry, I know this hurts your heart to hear. My difficult child was dropped by her guitar teacher several years ago for the same reason. We were referred to a teacher that was "willing to work with her" but we ended up dropping it. If he is talented keep searching for someone that will be the right fit. Sadly my difficult child was dropped by just about every coach she ever had for anything.

  9. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Maybe a different instrument? My oldest son just started bass guitar lessons and I was surprised at how laid back the teachers are where he takes compared to others I've known. By contrast his band teachers are really uptight and demanding.
  10. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Aww, that is really sad, I'm sorry it didn't work out.

    Back when things were heating up with difficult child in say, 9th grade, her voice teacher dropped her as well. I ran into a friend and asked her what she was doing for voice lessons now that the teacher had given it up and told me her daughter still went to that voice teacher. I called the teacher and she simply said she didn't have space in her schedule for difficult child. She wouldn't elaborate and I didn't press. I really think that had a large impact on difficult child as that was right around the time she started getting into trouble at school.

    Anyway, poo-poo on Tigger's teacher. I hope you're able to continue with someone else who is still close.
  11. JJJ,

    I think that you will be able to find another teacher for Tigger. There are just so many different programs and teachers out there! Have you considered a different instrument?

    Both our easy child and difficult child took Suszuki cello lessons from age 3 onward - with the same teachers. When difficult child turned 7, and the difficulty was ramping up a little - his lovely teacher took me aside. She told me that difficult child was one of the most musical children she had ever taught, but that the cello was not the instrument for him. She then suggested the piano as an alternative instrument.

    In my heart I knew that she was right, but I was very sad. At the time we knew that difficult child was very difficult, but we had no clue about AS. We had been traveling across town during rush hour twice a week for lessons - a hour each way. It turned out that we found a piano teacher two blocks away. He was a wonderful influence for difficult child. He was calm and patient , and he could see through difficult child's behaviors to his real ability. The cello teacher dropping difficult child turned out to be a blessing in disguise!

    Sad to say, both easy child and difficult child have dropped their music along the way - although they both love music and it is a huge part of their lives. (difficult child is in the school band, and although his director has strongly encouraged private lessons - he just doesn't want to follow through.) Look for that new teacher and think about another instrument as well. String instruments require a level of discipline and fine motor control that is difficult for some children. Just don't give up on music!