At what age is it appropriate to stop badgering your difficult child to do his homework and let natural consequences kick in? Knight has had an assignment that consisted of reading a historical book, then gathering items representative of what was discussed in the book, putting them in a bag, and giving an oral report using the items in the bag and how they relate to the story. Hes had this assignment for 3 weeks and its due Monday. He has the reading done, the items gathered, all that is left is to collect his thoughts about how each item relates to the story and practice the oral report. I have been reminding him (read: asking, pleading, threatening, removing privileges) of this all week because its his dads weekend for visitation and the last time I sent them to their Dads with homework it didnt get done, kids got sent home early so Mom could help, and Knight broke down into a 3 hour crying jag about how much he missed his dad and how unfair it was that their time together was shortened. Dad says its my job to make sure homework is done before they come over so he can have a fun stress free weekend with them. Knights therapist says Dad should be equally involved, but since Dad sometimes doesnt feel well enough to come to the appointments, he didnt get this message. Dad apparently does feel well enough to call the therapist to tell him what a bad parent I am So here we are again, two weeks later. I emailed Dad to let him know what has transpired regarding this most recent homework assignment. Told him it was his option whether or not to have Knight for the weekend but he did need to get the homework done and not left for me to deal with Sunday night. He called me, AT WORK, to tell me to stop my controlling and manipulation. He said he had called the teacher because he doesnt trust me. Rambled on about how his doctors have told him to reduce stress, etc, for 15 minutes then abruptly hung up on me. I am wondering if its even safe to have the kids over there. He is not forthcoming about a)what his medical condition is and b)what medications hes on. Legally its written that he should have his visitation, so can I really even follow through with making Knight finish the work before he goes over there. Im exhausted. I feel Ive done everything I can. Dad just isnt on the same page regarding education, homework deadlines, and developing good study habits. If Knight goes over there with homework, Dad makes sure he knows that I am the bad parent for sending him with it. Knight apparently doesnt feel the need to do well in school even though hes very smart, in the gifted program in fact, and really doesnt have many other strengths and interests he can leverage to make friends (hes not a good athlete, for example). He doesnt realize he could lose the gifted program and his reputation by continuing to do as little as possible to just squeak by. What do you all think?