Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Time of Year
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 718451" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Our dreams were always OUR dreams. Many parents whose kids DON'T do drugs do not decide to go to four year colleges. And some parents grieve. I admit not getting it as four year college often means a huge debt and no guarantee of a job. Many grads are not able to get the great jobs they expeted these days. I know of a woman with a Masters who is over a year out of graduating who never got a job in her field. And this happens a lot. Seriously, some think of a degree as automatic success and happiness. Some see it as a status symbol.</p><p></p><p>I am very relieved that this is an angst I never suffered. Nor am I jealous if others have kids who go to a university and graduate. My kids are all hard workers and have or will have good jobs with no or two years of college.</p><p></p><p>Just some thoughts...we who have difficult kids have bigger things to be upset about, if we must be upset, than that other kids are going to college. Who knows their real stories? As somebody said, blights dont make FB. Its like one big year long Christmas brag letter. Only the stuff that looks good is posted.</p><p></p><p>Maybe I dont get it because I never went to college and never cared nor envied those who did...and even with a few struggling kids, my life ended up great. It took work on my part though. My life was not easy. And it was more about me than my kids.</p><p></p><p>I feel my grown kids are highly successful. At any rate, it is best for us to stop looking at others and assuming all is terrific...and giving us one more reason to be sad. We dont know the child's back story....</p><p></p><p>We cant look at our own lives either and think that what made us happy and successful is what our kids would find fulfilling. </p><p></p><p>Each year this comes up as another reason for angst. My .02 is to try hard (certainly not easy) to not compare our kids to that of others...not every bright soul is college material. It isnt the end of the world. Nor is every young adult who is going to a dorm free of serious problems that we dont know about.</p><p></p><p>I learned to not assume...ever...that if it looks good, it is good. Everyone has problems. Most dont share.</p><p></p><p>My youngest will complete the police academy in 2018. I am one proud mom. I dont care if my BFF has a doctor for a child. I am so proud of my daughter. That doctor is not as special to me as my daughter. I am bursting with pride.</p><p></p><p>Please....dont add extra stress to your lives. Be kind to you. You all are great caring parents or you wouldnt be here. Be as nice to you as you deserve...and you deserve a lot!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 718451, member: 1550"] Our dreams were always OUR dreams. Many parents whose kids DON'T do drugs do not decide to go to four year colleges. And some parents grieve. I admit not getting it as four year college often means a huge debt and no guarantee of a job. Many grads are not able to get the great jobs they expeted these days. I know of a woman with a Masters who is over a year out of graduating who never got a job in her field. And this happens a lot. Seriously, some think of a degree as automatic success and happiness. Some see it as a status symbol. I am very relieved that this is an angst I never suffered. Nor am I jealous if others have kids who go to a university and graduate. My kids are all hard workers and have or will have good jobs with no or two years of college. Just some thoughts...we who have difficult kids have bigger things to be upset about, if we must be upset, than that other kids are going to college. Who knows their real stories? As somebody said, blights dont make FB. Its like one big year long Christmas brag letter. Only the stuff that looks good is posted. Maybe I dont get it because I never went to college and never cared nor envied those who did...and even with a few struggling kids, my life ended up great. It took work on my part though. My life was not easy. And it was more about me than my kids. I feel my grown kids are highly successful. At any rate, it is best for us to stop looking at others and assuming all is terrific...and giving us one more reason to be sad. We dont know the child's back story.... We cant look at our own lives either and think that what made us happy and successful is what our kids would find fulfilling. Each year this comes up as another reason for angst. My .02 is to try hard (certainly not easy) to not compare our kids to that of others...not every bright soul is college material. It isnt the end of the world. Nor is every young adult who is going to a dorm free of serious problems that we dont know about. I learned to not assume...ever...that if it looks good, it is good. Everyone has problems. Most dont share. My youngest will complete the police academy in 2018. I am one proud mom. I dont care if my BFF has a doctor for a child. I am so proud of my daughter. That doctor is not as special to me as my daughter. I am bursting with pride. Please....dont add extra stress to your lives. Be kind to you. You all are great caring parents or you wouldnt be here. Be as nice to you as you deserve...and you deserve a lot! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Time of Year
Top