Time to celebrate - my difficult child is GRADUATING!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by busywend, Jun 25, 2009.

  1. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    :student: I just can not believe it. I remember being so jealous of the members that were able to post that their difficult child was graduating. I thought this day would never come. I remember thinking how many years I had to get through to get to graduation day and there was doubt that we would make it here. Alive. Sane. Relationship in tact.

    We did it!

    Tomorrow night at 6:45 you can know that there will be one very proud mom wiping tears from her face as she watchs her baby girl walk across the stage in a cap and gown. Surreal.

    For those of you that do not know my difficult children story, here is a short recap. She was a difficult child. In fact, that was the first diagnosis we got from the first wacky therapist we saw. We read 'The Difficult Child' and tried all the techniques that did not help.

    School was the worst. Constant phone calls and trouble until we found the right medications. Barely passed most years. Summer school three times.

    Her tics have come and gone throughout her life with stress level changes.

    Counseling did not help. The only thing it did was give her the line, "Dr. R said my feelings count to." of course this was said only when she was not getting her way. I learned from Timer Lady to 'validate' the feelings, but that did not really change the outcome for difficult child.

    Moving her to her father's for a year was perhaps the hardest thing I have ever done, but maybe the best thing I have ever done for difficult child.

    The ODD is the worst part of my difficult child. I said to my boyfriend just last night, "I can't believe that I am so nice and have such a mean, rude child." But, I guess if that is what she chooses (and at 18 she is choosing it) so be it.

    She is still what I would consider a miserable child. She is lazy, unmotivated and generally nasty. But, she can brighten a room with her smile at times and she is VERY funny. Not very social. Likes to stay home and in her room. Her loss.

    Still has a problem with my boyfriend - it has been 6.5 years of dating and she still has not accepted him into her life. Yes, there have been moments of family-like behavior, but she still insists he will not be a part of her life when she moves out. I know better.

    She is signed up for the community college in the 'Criminal Justice' program. She wants to be a Parole Officer. I think she would make a good one - she doesn't take any carp from anyone. Fingers crossed she actually makes it.
    Still waiting for the job and driver's license to appear. No effort into the job. Failed the license first time around, hopefully in July she will pass.

    Thanks to all of you for your support and help through the years. I do not know where I would be today, or where difficult child would be today if it were not for this site!
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Wendy, I'm crying tears of joy over your post. Congratulations! :beautifulthing:
  3. aeroeng

    aeroeng Mom of Three

    Yah! Way to go! It is such a long trip! Take some time and reflect on your own accomplishments. You both did it!

    The community college sounds like where she belongs, and if she moves out and keeps her distance from boyfriend then her loss. You will then be free to live your life, and she can follow her own. Just keep letting her know you love her and let her fly.
  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Wendy, congratulations! What a tremendous milestone for both of you. Enjoy tomorrow through your tears.
  5. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I'm so happy for the both of you!
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I know from very recent experience what this graduation will mean to you.
    Grin from ear to ear and burst with pride...you deserve it. Congrats! DDD
  7. Jeppy

    Jeppy New Member

    Congratulations on hitting that milestone.

    Maybe this is a topic for another thread, but I'm curious the three times she went to summer school did you pay for that or did you make her (or is it free in your district)?
  8. graceupongrace

    graceupongrace New Member

    Congratulations to both of you!

    We're still a few years away from graduation, and some days I wonder if we'll make it. It helps to see others getting to that point and surviving!
  9. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Wendy, I know how you feel. When my difficult child finally graduated it was such a weight lifted off my shoulders. Congrats to you---because I know how hard you fought to get her to this days.
  10. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    Daughter also graduated this year. I felt a big "Whew!" once she walked across that stage. Check THAT one off the list.

    Congrats to YOU and difficult child!
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Wow! and Whew!
    And she wants to be a parole officer? Way To Go!!!
  12. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Congrats to your difficult child!! And, to you too:)
  13. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Congratulations to you both!
  14. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hey Wendy,

    having just gone through this with mine two weeks ago, I can tell you that there are definately tears but mostly joy at the accomplishment and amazement that 18 years went by so quickly. I remember waking the morning of her grad and thinking about her first day of school. Who knew the years would go by so quickly?

    I'll be thinking about you guys tonight. You have every right to breath a sigh of relief and be a proud mama!

  15. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I am elated for you both - HUGE hug and lots of tissues being passed for you tomorrow! Congrad-ulations!

  16. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Huge congrats to you both, but most especially to you Mom. I know you worked hard to make this day happen. I'm glad you got the reward at the end of the long road.

    Way To Go Wendy!! :D
  17. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    how did everything go last night? Weren't you having a cookout at a local park as well? Hope you had your tissue supply at hand....

  18. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    Congrats -

    My easy child daughter graduated Friday morning and her prom was last night. Although she is not ODD, she was a highly non-motivated student until her junior year when she decided she wanted to teach Special Education and then she began to make low honor roll. I didn't think she'd get into a decent college but she got into a second tier SUNY with a small merit scholarship. We're SO excited.
  19. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Everything was great! We did have the Grad party yesterday at a local park and that went great as well. We are tired and relieved! LOL!

    Thanks for all the support!

    I hope I gave some of you some hope!
  20. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Busy, I'm so late on this but am delighted that difficult child graduated & you had a wonderful party.

    I remember when, sweetie. You have to be so very proud.