time to put my warrior mom armour on

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by crazymama30, Dec 14, 2011.

  1. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    So difficult child has been gone for a month. If anything he is worse, and I don't think the Seroquel is working.

    I had a blunt and frank conversation with family therapist last night, she caught me at a time when my armour was down (I had been crying for hours, just so sick of all this and found out easy child is getting her tonsils out 1/2). I told her I thought difficult child was worse, I was upset with psychiatrist for changing medications and not notifying me (she "strongly encouraged" me to file a grievance), I was not sure what family therapy was supposed to accomplish, and I felt like nothing had been accomplished. She told me that as the parent I have the right to say what medications he takes,and once again, she "strongly" encouraged me to be very up front with psychiatrist about wanting to stop the seroquel (in other words, tell them I refuse to let him take it). I have it written out(as long as I don't forget it). I also want his thyroid and cholesterol rechecked, as the thyroid was low on reading and borderline low on another, and his cholesterol was a little high.

    I have not been happy with how things are going, and it is time to get more aggressive. This is a chance we may not get for a long time again to see what he is like off medications, he has been on medications since he was 8. It is time to do something, and I am going to have to instigate it.
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    It is so tough but maybe a good thing your armour was down, actually maybe it was just your guard....I mean that strong face we put on. Sounds like you got real and told them what you feel. That actually takes strength even if thru tears. I know it can be hard to take a stance and then when you actually meet to have them sort of talk you out of it. You have felt this for a while now, so go for it. It is the only way to know. This whole thing was a huge step and to feel like it is being wasted is not good for anyone. I totally support your decison and hope you can feel your army behind you.
  3. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    I understand where you are coming from. Maybe it was a good thing the therapist caught you when she did. I am trying to become as strong as you are in your fight for your son. It is a constant battle. And, I am sure you are doing everything you can. Hugs to you. And, when you are done with the armour may I borrow it? I can't seem to find mine.
  4. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Stressed momma, when I am done with it you can certainly borrow it. It will either fall apart or get stronger tommorrow, not sure which.
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I have TeDo's extra suit, I will send it. I got one of my own from Santa. smile
  6. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I would not look at it as a moment of weakness. I would look at it as a moment of frustration. You son is in a place where he is supposed to be helped and what they are doing for him is obviously not working. You were right to tell the family therapist how you feel. If he's getting no where then maybe it's time for the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to try a different direction.

    And I agree with her that you should file a grievance with the psychiatrist for changing medications without your knowledge. He's YOUR son and even though he is in Residential Treatment Center (RTC), he is still your responsibility.
  7. pepperidge

    pepperidge New Member

    HI CM--

    Sometimes I think that some of these places aren't used to having parents who care or who know enough to ask questions about medications. So your distress with that is good I think. Hope the psychiatrist gets the message.
    What did therapist say about family therapy?

    You just want your kid to get better and you don't see signs of it.

    This might sound like rationalization, but don't underestimate the simple fact that hopefully having him there is less stressful for you and your daughter--don't forgot what he might be doing if he were home, and having a break is good if nothing else. Of course you want far better than that, and they should do something positive.

    I'm of the opinion that everything we can do to keep our kids out of major trouble for as long as possible--hopefully until they mature is worth something even if there are no miraculous cures. But they really need to get the medications straightened out.

    Hope the armor is holding up. hugs to you.
  8. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    I'm behind you 100%. You can do this!
  9. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Thanks for all the responses, therapist did not have a good answer, said something along the lines that we have to learn how to live with difficult child. I think difficult child needs to learn how to live with others. Going in for the psychiatrist appointment and the care meeting is st 430.
  10. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Yes, difficult child is the one that needs to learn how to live with others. That is why he is in there and you aren't. Hope the meeting went well.
  11. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Well, sure we have to accept some limitations, but to make that be the goal of treatment....how is that going to help him (or any of our kids) in real life later on....?? I always say, yes we need to adjust and do what we can to make things so he can work on the goals...but he has to have goals to work on to help him reach HIS potential. Not going to just throw in the towel yet, they have plenty of time to learn. They deserve a chance to do better to be able to grow and to have a life outside of the family when they get older. Just silly to say you need to just learn to live with him.
  12. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    So psychiatrist and other meeting went pretty well. psychiatrist said that therapist said that I had some concerns about difficult child's medication changes. Yep. I told her that medication dosages had been changed and I had not been notified. She said that she usually did not notify parents of medication dose changes, only if medications (new) were started or stopped. Ok, I have to give a little too, so as long as I am notified of new medications or the stopping of medications, I will go with that.

    psychiatrist is adding tenex for a week, and then will evaluate how difficult child is and then will taper the seroquel and take him off as long as he is doing well on tenex. She wants to wait on tapering down the seroquel as she only wants to do 1 medication change at a time, and I agree with that theory. I don't know that the tenex will work, but he has never been on that class of medication so we will see. He sees psychiatrist again Monday, so by then I would think we should know if the tenex is working. I think tenex is a pretty quick acting medication, correct me if I am wrong.

    therapist was unable to make the meeting, so her supervisor came. I brought up my concern about the house revolving around difficult child. She brought up the point that if he is primarily Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), then we need to know so we can have the accurate expectations. They are doing more testing next week that should show that, not sure what, but that is what I am told. I did bring up the fact that he will be in high school next year, and he needs to learn how to get along in the world.

    At the advice of several other experienced warrior moms, I think I do need to back off a bit, to not be so enmeshed in difficult child's treatment. I will go up again Saturday as that was planned, and Monday and then on Christmas, but after that, depending on how difficult child does? I may only go up every other weekend. It is so tiring to drive up there and back in one day. Once the first hits I can access my flex spending acct and that will help as I can get reimbursed mileage and part of a hotel cost, so that way I can afford to stay overnight every so often. That would be so nice.

    Thank you all for your comments and support. It really does help.
  13. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I don't know- it sounds to me like you might have a little warrior mom skin on! I think you're handling things very well under the circumstances. He's very lucky to have you!
  14. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Glad you had your meeting. Q is on clonidine and it is in the same family. And yes...ding dong day ONE it helped. when it wears off I can give him it and in 1/2 hour it is better. Q is on a high dose and that is common for brain injury but they did say Tenex may be more effective at a lower dose so we will probably change in the summer (no risks during school for that since what we have is working). I hope it works for you too.
  15. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I agree with the others. That was not a moment of weakness, and your turned it into a strength. Do not back down.
    I'm glad the mtng went well.
    Fingers crossed that the Tenex works, and that you can keep that armor shined and new!