Is husband protesting wms placement?
Maybe you can play up the weekend with kt, call it a girls weekend, mom-dtr slumber party, um...tell her she can babysit you.....something like that.
if it did come down that some severe crisis occured and she had to be phosped over the weekend, - if it had to be that you were not there, well...things happen.
when my son had his first emergency surgery, I was in my scooter, beside my son.....you do what you can, sometimes we wish we could do more but sometimes we can't. PLanning ahead is always good, but sometimes it just is not possible or the plans get waylaid.
It does sound like for your husband this IS a crisis and emergency thing to him....and sadly, as is often the case in a family unit, sometimes it overlaps about who is in crisis or need. SUre he might be planning, and typical crisis is not preplanned....but it might be taking every ounce he has to wait till the weekend.
Yes, I know I do not know him, I am brainstorming and tossing out what comes to my mind. Maybe nothing of what I say is relevant.
I do understand being very very ill and unable to do what "normal" people might be able to do, and haveing special needs kids with very extreme and demanding needs, and also haveing a spouse who is very very ill, dependant etc. ANd yes, I also understand the mental illness special needs as well as the physical illness disabilities. I am thinking your husband might feel so overstressed at the moment, similar to how maybe you felt when you called crisis intervention for one of the kids....like maybe he is beyond desperate. He may be wondering why um....(I do not know how to word this delicately) when your illness causes you to reach your personal limits, then you can succumb, but now he is trying to say he has hit his personal limit and noone is hearing him trying to say so?
As for kt, maybe someone can explain to her even adults can get tired, overwhelmed, say things they may not mean, hasn't kt herself ever said or done something she did not intend to be hurtful?
It sounds like you are not haveing any luck finding help for the weekend. If that happens, you will need to just muddle thru and make the best of a bad situation. I know there are many many people here on this site who have had to find some way to get thru a less than ideal time. There are a lot of mothers here, some single, with difficult children and no help- and maybe they can come up with more ideas than just mine. I am hoping they DO come post ideas for helping you and kt get thru the weekend on your own, rather than simply posting how they feel about your husband. I cannot help but wonder if it were YOU saying YOU were going away for the weekend, people would support YOU for "taking care of yourself" and going, even if things at home were not perfect first.
Considering you have been together as long as you have, I doubt your husband is very often irresponsible or negligent. I doubt you would have stayed with him if he were. Chronic illness affects the entire family, as all of us with difficult children can agree. Most of us do not choose WHEN the symptoms are gonna completely overwhelm us. It really does sound like for him, thats what happened, and he cannot control the timing of it any more than you can control the timing of your symptoms and manifestations.
Take a deep breathe......say to yourself "I CAN do this, I CAN do this...." You are kts mother. she is your daughter. You are not on a deserted island, I am pretty sure she CAN get herself a bowl of cereal and dial a phone.With luck she might be very proud to bring YOU a bowl of cereal or a PB & J. Maybe she would enjoy painting your finger and toenails some wild color.
Linda,
