Diva's got a therapist appointment in 2 weeks. I'm calling today to get a psychiatrist appointment. She's a mess and I just don't know how to deal with- and/or help her. Heaven help me, I'm missing thank you's rages at this point. At least then there was something practical I could do (protect sibs, contain thank you, etc.)
She is definitely severely depressed. Typical symptoms - mopey, flat affect, cries easily. She's blowing off band homework (practice), but so far no other school problems that I've seen. Increasing friend problems and it's impossible to ferret out what are real issues and what is just her depressed take on things. She simply cannot solve even the simplest problems - her social studies book is on CD and she couldn't get it to work last night - didn't ask for help, didn't clean disk, didn't do anything, just quit and blamed it on her "stupid" computer. I totally get it, really. Depression is a bear - but.... UGH! I was able to get the CD working in about 30 seconds. Didn't say anything to her, just said "Okay, now you can do your work, it's all good." She was squeaking in band yesterday and said her teacher got "mad" at her, but while Diva had a chipped reed, the real problem is that her clarinet is "stupid". She's perseverating on getting a facebook account, which I am adamantly against. She's bringing it up daily and I'm to the point where I'm not discussing it anymore. It's not happening. Enter more quiet tears and retreat into her room.
She's gone to absolutes - I "always" yell at her, I "never" do anything with her, Weeburt is "always" mean to her. I told her to point out to me when I'm yelling at her. Last 3 weeks since our talk? Not once. Probably because I haven't yelled since the infamous candle incident with- thank you over 6 years ago. I've tried to gently point out the faulty thinking going on here with her absolutes (being a victim of the same thought process), but I'm also apparently the dumbest person on the earth and don't have a clue of what I'm talking about. I'm not taking it personally, LOL.
husband is being unusually unhelpful. He keeps wanting to know why she's depressed. Holy crud - he's been married to me for 23 years and he *still* doesn't get that with severe depression there is no "why"??? So he's trying to fix things by giving her advice she doesn't want, won't hear, and it just sets her off on another crying jag. I'm ready to throttle the man.
I've made a special point to spend extra time with- her. I've tried to draw her out but all I get is shrugged shoulders and weepy tears. She cried all the way to school this morning.... honestly, I just don't know what to do.
Her b-day is Mon and I'm just dreading this weekend. Going to mall tomorrow with- her and 2 friends of hers, then a sleep over. I just pray she is going to be able to keep it together, but ... I have my doubts.
Any practical tips on dealing with- this until psychiatrist/therapist appointment? I'm keeping my mouth shut, trying to give her lots of attention, trying to keep her busy, trying to help her problem solve, but.... I'm just running on empty here.
She is definitely severely depressed. Typical symptoms - mopey, flat affect, cries easily. She's blowing off band homework (practice), but so far no other school problems that I've seen. Increasing friend problems and it's impossible to ferret out what are real issues and what is just her depressed take on things. She simply cannot solve even the simplest problems - her social studies book is on CD and she couldn't get it to work last night - didn't ask for help, didn't clean disk, didn't do anything, just quit and blamed it on her "stupid" computer. I totally get it, really. Depression is a bear - but.... UGH! I was able to get the CD working in about 30 seconds. Didn't say anything to her, just said "Okay, now you can do your work, it's all good." She was squeaking in band yesterday and said her teacher got "mad" at her, but while Diva had a chipped reed, the real problem is that her clarinet is "stupid". She's perseverating on getting a facebook account, which I am adamantly against. She's bringing it up daily and I'm to the point where I'm not discussing it anymore. It's not happening. Enter more quiet tears and retreat into her room.
She's gone to absolutes - I "always" yell at her, I "never" do anything with her, Weeburt is "always" mean to her. I told her to point out to me when I'm yelling at her. Last 3 weeks since our talk? Not once. Probably because I haven't yelled since the infamous candle incident with- thank you over 6 years ago. I've tried to gently point out the faulty thinking going on here with her absolutes (being a victim of the same thought process), but I'm also apparently the dumbest person on the earth and don't have a clue of what I'm talking about. I'm not taking it personally, LOL.
husband is being unusually unhelpful. He keeps wanting to know why she's depressed. Holy crud - he's been married to me for 23 years and he *still* doesn't get that with severe depression there is no "why"??? So he's trying to fix things by giving her advice she doesn't want, won't hear, and it just sets her off on another crying jag. I'm ready to throttle the man.
I've made a special point to spend extra time with- her. I've tried to draw her out but all I get is shrugged shoulders and weepy tears. She cried all the way to school this morning.... honestly, I just don't know what to do.
Her b-day is Mon and I'm just dreading this weekend. Going to mall tomorrow with- her and 2 friends of hers, then a sleep over. I just pray she is going to be able to keep it together, but ... I have my doubts.
Any practical tips on dealing with- this until psychiatrist/therapist appointment? I'm keeping my mouth shut, trying to give her lots of attention, trying to keep her busy, trying to help her problem solve, but.... I'm just running on empty here.