I'm so furious that I can't see straight. Mother's Day is coming and our tradition has been that mother in law's kids and husband treat her (and their own families) a brunch in certain restaurant. It has mostly been enjoyable to also us. husband, well not that dear right now, just told me, that mother in law had asked that we would not take difficult child with us this time. There are often many friends and acquittance in the same restaurant and she feels embarrassed because of the difficult child (the gossip has gone around and many know about his troubles.) I'm furious at mother in law because this is just so over the line for me. She lives very near (and our moving away is not a possibility), has been helpful in many ways, is close and excellent granny to the easy child and there is a lot of old baggage in the situation which is mostly on me, so I have been very adjustable for her over the years. But this is just too much. I will not let her do this to my son. It's not like he would be drunk or high and make a scene at the brunch. So what, if people do know, that he really screw up (and has paid for it and is working hard to gain back his old stands.) It is not like he would be the only kid in that room who has screwed up. Or that many of those said friends and acquittance have their own kids or grandkids who have done it. Or heavens sake, have done it themselves. And it is not like he killed, maimed or raped someone. And I'm not much less furious with DH to even telling me about this. He should certainly know better than even imply that I should consider this. He should had told straight away to his mother that it would absolutely not be happening. I will spend my Mother's Day with my beloved sons. And that is it. If husband wants to be somewhere else, it is his business. I would so want to tell mother in law that there is no way in h*** that me or my sons would come after this. But unfortunately there is other side in this also. Boys will want to go. We have always done it and they do enjoy it. They want to see their cousins etc. Especially easy child will want to go (if we are not telling that difficult child is not welcome, that could change things for him also.) If I now come up with some new alternative that I want to do for Mother's Day and we do not go to the brunch, they will not buy it. easy child and especially difficult child are smart boys, they will smell something is rotten. And difficult child will guess what it is and feel very bad because of it. And other than that, I do not want to let mother in law to chase my son out of our extended family. No way! Any good tips for perfect murder?