Tired and feeling hopeless...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by sonrisasmile08, Dec 21, 2009.

  1. sonrisasmile08

    sonrisasmile08 New Member

    I'm back. It's been awhile since I was on here and I used a different name them - it was butterflydreams.

    Anyway, life has been very hectic since this last summer. I am no longer working, I am going to school full time now.

    My daughter took the GED in May and aced it! She is now attending the local community college full-time and getting A's! I am so proud of her.

    difficult child appeared to be doing ok for a little bit and then seemed to just regress. I took him to get assessed at the same mental health facility that we have used before - it's very limited here. Anyway, they wanted to put him in the partial program but we had to wait for the medicaid to kick in. Well little did we know how long that would take! Even though I activated difficult child's SSI (he was awarded last year, but I made too much, but after I wasn't working anymore, I went into the SS office at the end of August and they activated it full time) and submitted the app for medicaid at the end of August. In Nevada, you only need to receive $1 of SSI to automatically get medicaid. Anyway, he was evaluated for partial early September, it took until November for the Medicaid to kick in. Meanwhile, I had to buy his medications out of pocket and he was increasingly regressing.

    difficult child's psychiatrist is no longer associated with the phospital so once difficult child started partial, we got assigned to a different psychiatrist. He didn't do anything! Even the therapist on the day they discharged difficult child said we hadn't accomplished anything. Medicaid wouldn't only allow for 2 weeks.

    I am at my wits end. difficult child won't go to school. Makes up excuses. He started a new school after being in partial and of course they don't know him and he was getting aggitated so they said he needed to go home. (He knows what to say to get people to think his way). He is very manipulative. Anyway, he won't shower. Kids when he was in partial kept telling him he stunk and he doesn't seem to care. The only time he took things seriously was when the staff said they were going to take him over to the inpatient unit and make him shower if he came the next day without showering.

    The therapist at partial told me that he is an "emotional vampire" he just sucks everything out of you. He doesn't care about anyone or anything - just what he wants.

    I went to see my therapist whom I haven't seen for months today. She has been our family therapist for 3 years. (In the beginning she worked with my son too). She said I have tried everything that could possibly be done, everything that they would tell me to do and nothing is working to get through to him. He only gets worse and it is deeply affecting me and my daughter. She suggested that maybe its time to look at out of home placement for him for now. He seems to do fine when he was in Residential Treatment Center (RTC).

    Anyway, sorry this is so long, I just have so much to say and I don't know how to put it all in words. I am at a loss as to what to do. I love my son, but I have gotten to where I resent him.
  2. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Glad you found your way back. Sorry that you had to.

    I don't have experience with out of home placements or rtcs or bipolar so I can't offer you any suggestions there. But I can tell you that coming back will be good for you! Our members are the best and will be along shortly with support and advice.

  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome back and I'm sorry things are so rough. One thing I noticed in your signature is that difficult child is on Adderall. I know many children with Bipolar cannot tolerate stimulants if they are unstable. My difficult child can never take them again because for him it throws him into violent rages. Instead they give him Clonidine to help with the ADHD part of his health. It's not perfect but it is a huge help.

    I think some of our kiddos do so well in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) because of the structure they are able to provide that cannot be duplicated at home. I know that is how it worked for my difficult child in the hospital; he does well there but cannot maintain at home.

    I'm glad to hear your daughter is doing so well!!
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Welcome back! I agree- if you can get him back into a good Residential Treatment Center (RTC) it will probably be the best for everyone. I can understand you getting to this point- it does bother me, however, that a therapist said he was an "emotional vampire". I expect better than that from tdocs who are only working with our difficult child's on a professional basis. If the therapist feels that way, I figure there is no way he/she can do any good for us.
  5. sonrisasmile08

    sonrisasmile08 New Member

    thanks all. I am so glad I found my way back here. Everyone is so great here.

    Wiped out - he just started on the Adderal. We had tried Daytrana before and stopped it because he increasingly got aggitated. He has only been on Adderal about 1 week. I asked the psychiatrist when I took my daughter to her last appointment (they see the same psychiatrist) if I could have a few minutes of his time after he was done with her. He has seen difficult child since day one. Anyway, I asked if we could try something because he is so all over the place and can't stay focused on anything. He has been reluctant to put him on anything for his attention issues for fear of making things worse, anyway, he said we would try the Adderal. He said if I didn't see adverse reactions, I could up the dose. I haven't seen anything adverse since he started it, everything is the same he was aggitated before he started it. I haven't upped the dose yet with the holiday break here. He sees psychiatrist on Jan. 4th so we will see then.

    I am going to speak to the psychiatrist about at the very least putting him on the waiting list for Residential Treatment Center (RTC). There is only one state run Residential Treatment Center (RTC) here in Las Vegas. There is another place local, but I have heard bad things about it and psychiatrist said he would never send difficult child there. I don't know what the current waiting list is for the state Residential Treatment Center (RTC), its where he was before - he was supposed to be there at least 6 months, they discharged him at 3 1/2 months - psychiatrist didn't feel he was ready either - but he doesn't have privileges there. I figured I will speak to psychiatrist when we see him on the 4th.

    As far as the therapist he had at partial, I had seen her in passing when we have been there before, but this is the first time that we have dealt with her.

    I really think he needs to be at the very least in Residential Treatment Center (RTC). He needs the structure, he needs the help. I just can't provide the structure that he needs at home. He doesn't listen and he knows physically that I can't handle him. He is very strong and has grown alot over the last 6 months. I am only 5 ft and he is now like 5'4".

    He knows just how far to push things. He is very manipulative and very immature. I think if he wasn't so immature he would probably be out there doing some very dangerous and stupid stuff. He won't go anywhere though. He just stays home.