Tired of the fight for normallity

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by julyandjay, Oct 11, 2010.

  1. julyandjay

    julyandjay Guest

    I have a 5 year old boy he has been in therpy since 2 for being "the most violent child " I don't know how many diffrent people we've seen and it seems like every time we make any progress something back slides us all the way down the hill. The Dr's say therpy is the route with-o medications and i'd rarther not put him on medications and teach him coping skills but now that starting kindergarden has regressed him the school wants to medication him. They wanted to backer act him because of one of his tantrums.
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Welcome to the board. The people hear have been where you have been and have used a variety of methods to deal with the things you're dealing with. Take advantage of the advice you get. We have all been there, done that.

    I admire your wanting to handle this without medications. I was in the same place when my difficult child was that age. I didn't like the idea of a 5 year old being "on drugs". I was afraid of what it would do to him and that it would mean that I wasn't doing something right or it wouldn't be a problem. My school district wanted to kick him out of kindergarten and send him back to preschool. After all the fighting and getting nowhere, I finally agreed to try medication. I found a wonderful child psychiatrist that explained to me that medications don't cure, they just take the edge off so to speak so that he was better able to learn the proper way to deal with anger and anxiety I was trying to teach him. The medications she put him on have calmed him just enough so that we could make progress with the learning. There are so many medications out there that DO help. The psychiatric made a wonderful analogy for me to relate to. He said there are chemical imbalances in the brain that causes these types of things kind of like a diabetic's pancreas doesn't work right. A diabetic, depending on how bad the pancreas is acting, needs insulin to help do what the pancreas isn't doing. Medications work kind of the same way. They just help with what the brain isn't doing right. What is your son's diagnois? What are they recommending for medication? What types of things is he doing?

    Good luck. I hope you find some comfort and answers here. I know I have.
  3. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Hi July and welcome...

    Has your son ever had a full and complete neuropsychologist evaluation? There are some disorders that are organic and need medication (just like epilepsy, diabetes, etc.) and if the underlying physical disorder is not treated, therapy will not work.

    If your son is so out of control at school that they are considering asking the hospital to Baker Act him, you need more intense intervention very quickly. If the school calls 911 and the doctors Baker Act him, you will not be able to override that decision and take him home. (The school cannot require that you medicate him but if he presents a danger of harm to self or others they can call 911 and it can spiral out of control very quickly.)

    Does your son have a current diagnosis? What professional gave him that diagnosis? Did they do any testing? Is there a family history of mental illness or substance abuse?

    You have joined a group of parents who have been there. My 15-year old (Eeyore in my sig) was violent and scary as a 5 year old -- so much so that we were advised to disrupt his adoption because 'he'd kill us in our sleep' -- he is now a very well behaved 8th grader, he still has his quirks and mild special needs but he is not dangerous at all. There is hope.
  4. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Take a deep breath. Have you spoken to your pediatrician? They may be able to give you the name of neuopsychistrist who can evaluate your son and start leading you in the right direction. I admire that you want to proceed without medications. I was the same way. I was told when difficult child was 9 to put him on Prozac. I really didn't like the doctor who suggested it (he wanted me to put him on medications after talking to him and me for all of 15 minutes!) and husband thought he was too young at the time, but things only got so far with his therapist. We needed to do something more. While medications have not made all of his problems disappear, they have made them easier to work with, for both us here at home and the therapist.

    It will get better. I've only been here for a short while, but the strength of the parents here will help you out. Good luck.