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Failure to Thrive
Tired.. so tired...
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<blockquote data-quote="Frieda" data-source="post: 713885" data-attributes="member: 18242"><p>Welcome. I also tend to think that he sounds like a young man with high functioning autism, but than again my son has autism and like everyone I tend to see what you know. Either way, the symptoms of depression and anxiety seem to be similar. Your husband also sounds like he might be in the same category. Maybe do some more online reading on Aspergers and see if you think to fits with things you see in your son (or husband). One thing that really helped me as a parent was to understand what my son's true deficits were because I stopped being angry and resentful for the things he did not seem to be able to do and was able to realize that that was his disability. I do not know where you live and what type of services available are but at least where I live some help is available. He could qualify for guardianship, disability, vocational services or other supports. Most people with autism benefit from a schedule in their day. It makes your day more predictable, gives it structure and the predictability decreases anxiety. I am not saying to start out ambitious with something for every hour of the day but just little things, like pizza every Friday, laundry every Monday, watching a certain show every night at the same time. Your son (and you) might already have some of these patterns and maybe you can add some here and there and build from there. Structure and consistency will be helpful for your son.</p><p>My son is 17 and has his ups and downs.I know how draining it is too worry and to feel anxious and helpless over the things that might be out of my control. A good friend told me many years ago that sometimes all you can do is just love your kid. On hard days I try and remember that I do try my best to chance the things I can, let go of the things I can't and 'just love him'. It is my own little serenity prayer for parenting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Frieda, post: 713885, member: 18242"] Welcome. I also tend to think that he sounds like a young man with high functioning autism, but than again my son has autism and like everyone I tend to see what you know. Either way, the symptoms of depression and anxiety seem to be similar. Your husband also sounds like he might be in the same category. Maybe do some more online reading on Aspergers and see if you think to fits with things you see in your son (or husband). One thing that really helped me as a parent was to understand what my son's true deficits were because I stopped being angry and resentful for the things he did not seem to be able to do and was able to realize that that was his disability. I do not know where you live and what type of services available are but at least where I live some help is available. He could qualify for guardianship, disability, vocational services or other supports. Most people with autism benefit from a schedule in their day. It makes your day more predictable, gives it structure and the predictability decreases anxiety. I am not saying to start out ambitious with something for every hour of the day but just little things, like pizza every Friday, laundry every Monday, watching a certain show every night at the same time. Your son (and you) might already have some of these patterns and maybe you can add some here and there and build from there. Structure and consistency will be helpful for your son. My son is 17 and has his ups and downs.I know how draining it is too worry and to feel anxious and helpless over the things that might be out of my control. A good friend told me many years ago that sometimes all you can do is just love your kid. On hard days I try and remember that I do try my best to chance the things I can, let go of the things I can't and 'just love him'. It is my own little serenity prayer for parenting. [/QUOTE]
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