I know I have mentioned before on here that I am doing Inner child therapy right now. Its interesting to say the least. Im still not 100 percent sure how I buy into it completely but we shall see where I stand when I am done with it. But I do think there is something to the whole thing of how we react to certain situations paying off a kid and creating a self fulfilling prophecy. Keyana is two. She surely doesnt have enough life experience under her belt to know how to manipulate people well but she is learning how to work us for that quarter for the gumball machines. She also is learning to throw a fit in the grocery store when she sees candy and we use compromises with her so she learns to pick one fun item per outing. But then she always wants to "OPE it...OPE IT NOW!" Well that isnt happening and we stand firm no matter what little fit or tears she turns on. I am convinced that somewhere her tears work for her...lol. Personally I can push a crying toddler all through walmart without a backwards glance. When I see a toddler screaming in a store my first thoughts arent what a bad parent but that the kid must be either tired, hungry or just cranky. It has nothing to do with the parents. Now if I saw a parent throw a kid across the floor I might think something was wrong...but just a crying kid...nope. Kids cry. Its what they do best. I know my mom messed me up royally because of what she did to me. I think I had the genetic disposition to have the bipolar anyway but when she started her invalidating and downright abusive behavior of me as an infant...she started me on the inevitable path to borderline and bipolar. One fed off the other. I dont know if I would have developed the bipolar without the borderline being triggered so early. maybe...maybe not. My mom was roll model for how to parent your child into a label. If you could do something wrong...she did it. The fact that I am still here is truly a miracle.