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To Every Yin, There is a Yang
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<blockquote data-quote="HeadlightsMom" data-source="post: 643608" data-attributes="member: 18284"><p>RE --- Wow! What a terrific post you wrote, above! I'm tellin' ya, you are just one continual source of new ideas and inspiration for me. Keep on keepin' on! </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This phrase really caught my attention. First, because I can relate in thoughts.....I wrestle with judgment sometimes and I really dislike how it feels when I judge (sometimes ridiculously judge, too). Second, because I wanted to clarify that when I say, "Higher Path", I mean "Unconditional Love/Radical Acceptance" (sans enabling). For me, it's been hard to stay a true course of Unconditional Love/Radical Acceptance because I have often gotten it confused with one extreme (judging) or the other (enabling). Such a balancing act for me. And when I find how difficult that "balancing act" can be for me, I lapse into judging myself. I used to go from 0-60 at a moments' notice between any of those extremes. Now I can still go to those extremes........but it's USUALLY s-l-o-w-e-r.... but not always. See.......now you bring me more food for thought this morning!</p><p></p><p>RE -- I'm with Lil on this one...........You are such a nice lady! You brighten your neighbors' day and you brighten our day, here! So exciting to hear that a new "hallway door" is opening for you now! As you venture through another door, please share if/when you ever feel inclined. I like the rooms you venture into... <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>dstc_99 and 2m2r --- Sorry to hear your current batch of neighbors aren't easy to "join in any reindeer games" (2m2r -- I use that phrase, too!). Once one has had good neighbors, it's just such a straaaange experience having neighbors who are....uh....not. But it does make one wonder why they're not. I GREATLY admire RE for taking it to the next level with her Christmas cookies and cheer. I guess we just never know what others may be thinking? And, conversely, others may never know what we're thinking.</p><p></p><p>Most of my life I've had great neighbors. Didn't have my first batch of stand-off-ish neighbors until I was 40. It blew me away because I'd never experienced it. But we've been living here for 4 years now and, once again, have absolutely terrific neighbors. Whew!</p><p></p><p>MWM --- Our difficult child is hit-and-miss with judging. Mostly, he's not. And I do admire that in him. However, when he gets "in a tizzy" (which ain't rare), he lapses into this temporary judgmental bit. But he judges others for NOT giving to him. IT's kinda weird watching him go through it. A social worker once called it an "emotional seizure" of sorts for him. It was that dramatic of a shift. Sounds like, maybe, your difficult child is more consistent with that behavior? Can't be easy to be around.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HeadlightsMom, post: 643608, member: 18284"] RE --- Wow! What a terrific post you wrote, above! I'm tellin' ya, you are just one continual source of new ideas and inspiration for me. Keep on keepin' on! This phrase really caught my attention. First, because I can relate in thoughts.....I wrestle with judgment sometimes and I really dislike how it feels when I judge (sometimes ridiculously judge, too). Second, because I wanted to clarify that when I say, "Higher Path", I mean "Unconditional Love/Radical Acceptance" (sans enabling). For me, it's been hard to stay a true course of Unconditional Love/Radical Acceptance because I have often gotten it confused with one extreme (judging) or the other (enabling). Such a balancing act for me. And when I find how difficult that "balancing act" can be for me, I lapse into judging myself. I used to go from 0-60 at a moments' notice between any of those extremes. Now I can still go to those extremes........but it's USUALLY s-l-o-w-e-r.... but not always. See.......now you bring me more food for thought this morning! RE -- I'm with Lil on this one...........You are such a nice lady! You brighten your neighbors' day and you brighten our day, here! So exciting to hear that a new "hallway door" is opening for you now! As you venture through another door, please share if/when you ever feel inclined. I like the rooms you venture into... :) dstc_99 and 2m2r --- Sorry to hear your current batch of neighbors aren't easy to "join in any reindeer games" (2m2r -- I use that phrase, too!). Once one has had good neighbors, it's just such a straaaange experience having neighbors who are....uh....not. But it does make one wonder why they're not. I GREATLY admire RE for taking it to the next level with her Christmas cookies and cheer. I guess we just never know what others may be thinking? And, conversely, others may never know what we're thinking. Most of my life I've had great neighbors. Didn't have my first batch of stand-off-ish neighbors until I was 40. It blew me away because I'd never experienced it. But we've been living here for 4 years now and, once again, have absolutely terrific neighbors. Whew! MWM --- Our difficult child is hit-and-miss with judging. Mostly, he's not. And I do admire that in him. However, when he gets "in a tizzy" (which ain't rare), he lapses into this temporary judgmental bit. But he judges others for NOT giving to him. IT's kinda weird watching him go through it. A social worker once called it an "emotional seizure" of sorts for him. It was that dramatic of a shift. Sounds like, maybe, your difficult child is more consistent with that behavior? Can't be easy to be around. [/QUOTE]
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