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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 675495" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Merry Christmas, Wakeup</p><p></p><p>There is no right thing or wrong thing to do about the phone. If you want him to have the phone for you, for you to be able to reach him, to feel less worried, go ahead, if that is what you want to do. If he is not working or doing much else, how worse could it be to have the phone? </p><p></p><p>If I may ask why do you pay for his phone service? For him or for you?</p><p></p><p>In our case I do not buy my son phones or help him financially in any way, except for paying his train fare every now and then. I have a good excuse. He receives SSI.</p><p></p><p>My son is adopted too, and has a history of ADHD, and later, mood disorder and anxiety. For me, that does not take away the need to be responsible and productive. </p><p></p><p>I do not agree with how my son lives, but I have realized it is none of my business. What I can do is take care of myself, but focusing on my own needs and my well-being, and let him be. We do not have to take responsibility for how they live their lives. They do.</p><p></p><p>There is an article on detachment which is on this site. I urge you to read it. We will always love them but it is time that they own their problems, the effects and their solution. </p><p></p><p>Take care. I am glad you are here. Keep posting.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 675495, member: 18958"] Merry Christmas, Wakeup There is no right thing or wrong thing to do about the phone. If you want him to have the phone for you, for you to be able to reach him, to feel less worried, go ahead, if that is what you want to do. If he is not working or doing much else, how worse could it be to have the phone? If I may ask why do you pay for his phone service? For him or for you? In our case I do not buy my son phones or help him financially in any way, except for paying his train fare every now and then. I have a good excuse. He receives SSI. My son is adopted too, and has a history of ADHD, and later, mood disorder and anxiety. For me, that does not take away the need to be responsible and productive. I do not agree with how my son lives, but I have realized it is none of my business. What I can do is take care of myself, but focusing on my own needs and my well-being, and let him be. We do not have to take responsibility for how they live their lives. They do. There is an article on detachment which is on this site. I urge you to read it. We will always love them but it is time that they own their problems, the effects and their solution. Take care. I am glad you are here. Keep posting. COPA [/QUOTE]
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