to my dear friends

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by antsmom, Nov 6, 2007.

  1. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    ant is so much older now than a lot of the "conduct disorder siblings"-he is a man, and I feel like I need to move on. I have been here since he was 16. I have been held standing many times by those here who gave me their love and prayers, kind words, soft whispers of encouragement...I am in tears just thinking of it all.

    I want to regroup and perhaps join or form a support forum for parents of those in prison. talking about prison here may scare those with youngins, and I also cannot share openly anymore about his new life without fearing some unkind comment from someone with little compassion.

    I will check in and visit once in a while I am sure, but not regularly. thought I better let ya know in advance so you dont wonder where I

    God bless and thank you all for 8 yrs of support.
  2. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    I will miss you greatly. For some reason, I always felt a strong kindred with you. And I will never forget how ant reached out to my difficult child. no matter what else he did or continues to do, I will always hold a place in my heart for the stranger who reached out to my son. I always remember, he is capable of doing good things.

  3. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    Thanks. My son has a wonderful loving, generous and funny side. I love him, and will continue to pray for him.
    He still has the letter you wrote him as well. :smile:

    I got to thinking these past few days about things, and watching other moms of older kids here struggle as their kids went to jail, one after another.

    I do not think it is easy for people who have not been there done that to realize that some days all you can to is to "look in the mirror and say good job"- because sometimes that is all that keeps you from being crushed with grief when your son or daughter moves on to state prison or into the court system. you need to know you did all you could and need to be reminded.

    sometimes you cannot simply pick yourself and start a new hobby, or find things you were always wanting to explore...sometimes you must go a different route. sometimes it takes longer to mull things thru. I am thinking.. knowing me ...I will probably get "locked" more on my posts here as my focus is growing apart from some others here. Ant has given me much experience in parent heartache and I cannot help but speak up when I see others in turmoil on paths I have already walked.

    I spent some time researching sites and found one for Christian parents whose loved ones are in jail. many of the sons there are older than ant and have much worse offenses, much longer terms in jail...I will read more about it as I am a newbie to the state prison system, a very diff ballgame than county jail.
  4. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Oh ant's mom. You are the best. Please dont leave without telling me where you are!
  5. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    You'll be missed. I hope your journey leads you to find some peace. You have done all you could for your son and more. Drop by once in awhile to let us know how you and Kaleb are doing. Take good care of yourself.
  6. skeeter

    skeeter New Member

    I'm sorry that you feel the need to "leave" - but understand that you must do what is best for you.

    You have shared a lot of your pain, and your good times, and you've made an impression on me - as I'm sure you have on others.

    I pray that someday your son will see his way to a better outcome.

    But do what you need to do for YOU.

    Nothing but good wishes for your future.......
  7. saving grace

    saving grace New Member

    Janet, I can not believe what I am reading. I just felt like a part of me was torn away. I understand completely your decision however I dont know what I will do not knowing of Ant and your life with boyfriend and Kaleb, I will miss you dearly. It wont be the same.

  8. KFld

    KFld New Member

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: saving grace</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Janet, I can not believe what I am reading. I just felt like a part of me was torn away. I understand completely your decision however I dont know what I will do not knowing of Ant and your life with boyfriend and Kaleb, I will miss you dearly. It wont be the same.

    Grace </div></div>

    Grace, those are my thoughts exactly. I can't imagine this board without you.

    Will you always be available for PM's??
  9. Janet - While I understand your need to branch out and find people in similar situations as yourself, I cannot help but be selfish and wonder what I will do without you.

    You have been my mentor, my strength and my motivation for so many years. It's time I said thank you my friend, thank you for sharing all that you have and thank you for being the very special person you are.

    I love you.

  10. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    I'm going to miss you too!!! I've learned so much from you in the short time I've "known" you. I've always valued your opinions and advice. You are a very strong and wise person. And, on a lighter note, thanks for the laughs too!!!

    Please let us know every now and then how things are going.

    I'm going to keep you, Kaleb, and Ant in my thoughts and prayers...WFEN
  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    Hey Twin!

    I can understand. There are days I feel the same way. I expect Cory to go to jail at some point but who knows with the way our court system works down here.

    Hope you do check in from time to time and at least PM a few of us. I would like to know how Ant is doing.

    I will keep you guys in my prayers. Our lives do seem so similar.
  12. VLong

    VLong New Member


    I will miss you, too. I haven't been on the board that much lately, since Justin and his girlfriend have moved out and husband and I are "empty nesters". But you and I both came to the board about the same time and I feel like I "know" you as if you just lived across the street. You have given me some sage advice and if it wasn't for you (and a small other chosen few on the board) I really don't know where I would be today or where my son would be. As it is, he is expecting his daughter in about 7 weeks and is turning into the man I always knew lay hidden beneath all of the dysfunction and drugs and alcohol. You always gave me hope that this would happen. I know in my heart of hearts it will happen for Ant, too, just on his own time.

    I wish you nothing but peace and happiness. Please keep in touch. I will always keep you and Ant and Kaleb in my thoughts and prayers.

  13. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Janet, I will miss you. I completely understand your need to find a support group that better meets the needs of your life at this time. Thank you for all you've done for me over the years---gosh has it really been 5 years since I first came here---Your advice---your never ending love for your son---and your ability to let him face the consequences of his choices were inspirational to me. God bless you---please stay in touch and take care of yourself.
  14. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Thank you Janet... you are a true warrior. As a Mom with young ones, nothing you wrote scared me. Just the honest truth, from your heart.
    As a daughter who watched my Father in and out of prison... I understand a little, what pain people we love can fill us with.

    It is a horrible sad lonely thing you are facing... I would want support also. While I will miss you and feel saddened by this, I do understand your need.

    Please take care of yourself... sending you much love and strength.
  15. CAmom

    CAmom Member

    Oh, I'm so sorry to read this. Your posts are ones that I always navigate to, and I will really miss you and your input.

    I can't even imagine these forums without you...
  16. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Janet - I do hope you will continue to check in from time to time, not only to share your continued wisdom but also to let us know how ant is doing.

    I've cried with you and for you many times over the years. I remember the celebration when he made bull. I've hoped that he would be able to bring it all together and been so saddened when he has made his mistakes. Ant is one of the "old timer" kids I have a very special soft spot for.

    You have set an example for those of us who are or may be walking a similar path, Janet. I thank you for sharing these years with us.

    Many hugs.
  17. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    This makes me sad beyond words.....
  18. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    I too am saddened. But, I certainly understand the need to take a break. I hope you find the community that you are looking for. We all need support and understanding.

    Janet - have you ever read any of Chuck Colson's books? I'm thinking he would be a great encouragement to you.

    I will truly miss you. Please stop in and say hello from time to time.

    Hugs and prayers for you and Ant.
  19. tracy551

    tracy551 New Member

    Janet, I only met you a few months ago, but you have helped me greatly. I understand the need to move on. I will miss your inspirational words and your strong will. I have always read your post to see if I can pull any advise from them. It will not be the same without you. Please check in from time to time. You are a wonderful lady, thank you, Tracy.
  20. ck1

    ck1 New Member

    Janet: This makes me really sad but I totally understand, like everyone else says, you need to do what's best for you, but you will be missed. Since we live kind of close to each other and I agree with everything you say, I've always looked for your posts full of wise words!

    You have helped me so so so much! From expressing the absolute necessity for kids to learn natural consequences (call the police when they are doing illegal things) to sending me the information for Ken's group (which then lead to difficult child's PO who got him where he is now)! You're a lifesaver!

    I also hope that you check in here from time to time, we all want to know that Ant is safe and getting through this ok and that you are too, warrior mom.