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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 690248" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>You know, Nomad, I missed this post of yours until now.</p><p></p><p>A month or so ago when we were trying to figure out where my son should stay (again), the idea came to send him back to the house which we are repairing to make into my office. My son had already been there for a few weeks, some months before.</p><p></p><p>So I mentioned my son's possible return to the next door neighbor, a lady close to my age. She was less than happy and went out of her way to mention that my son had been associating with two known drug dealers...and had gotten into a fight with one, who was chasing him down the block. She just happened to mention that my son acted like he was using hard drugs and that no way his behavior could be related to marijuana or to mental illness.<em> I have used a whole lot of marijuana and I never acted like that</em>, she said.</p><p></p><p>I felt bad for a few minutes to say the least and went immediately to tell M, and then, to tell my son *I have no control. M said,<em> no she is wrong</em>. And quickly added, <em>why listen to people, for what good reason would she say something like that?</em> And my son explained the incident to which she referred.</p><p></p><p>I quickly forgot the whole exchange. (I have enough to worry about to worry about something which is gossip, nothing more.)</p><p></p><p>Fast forward to last weekend. My son and I went to that lady's house where M was helping her out doing some plumbing. At first my son was reticent to go because he felt she did not like him. I told him: <em>What do you care what anybody thinks? You know who you are</em>. You know the truth. So, we went and knocked on the door. Immediately seeing my son, the lady said to me, <em>I should not have said what I said</em>. I responded, almost not even remembering it, <em>don't worry about it. </em></p><p></p><p>Subsequently I found out that the majority of the family are alcoholics. <em>I am not judging but sometimes people look for problems in other houses, because they know too well their own.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>And you know what? </em>I really could not have cared less what the lady said. I hugged her and told her not to worry. I have grown so much due to this site that little that people say to me has much of an effect.</p><p></p><p>My son behaved so beautifully, so graciously. I was so proud of him. I can see the changes he is making. With my own eyes.</p><p></p><p>More and more I am seeing that everything comes down to our own self-acceptance.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 690248, member: 18958"] You know, Nomad, I missed this post of yours until now. A month or so ago when we were trying to figure out where my son should stay (again), the idea came to send him back to the house which we are repairing to make into my office. My son had already been there for a few weeks, some months before. So I mentioned my son's possible return to the next door neighbor, a lady close to my age. She was less than happy and went out of her way to mention that my son had been associating with two known drug dealers...and had gotten into a fight with one, who was chasing him down the block. She just happened to mention that my son acted like he was using hard drugs and that no way his behavior could be related to marijuana or to mental illness.[I] I have used a whole lot of marijuana and I never acted like that[/I], she said. I felt bad for a few minutes to say the least and went immediately to tell M, and then, to tell my son *I have no control. M said,[I] no she is wrong[/I]. And quickly added, [I]why listen to people, for what good reason would she say something like that?[/I] And my son explained the incident to which she referred. I quickly forgot the whole exchange. (I have enough to worry about to worry about something which is gossip, nothing more.) Fast forward to last weekend. My son and I went to that lady's house where M was helping her out doing some plumbing. At first my son was reticent to go because he felt she did not like him. I told him: [I]What do you care what anybody thinks? You know who you are[/I]. You know the truth. So, we went and knocked on the door. Immediately seeing my son, the lady said to me, [I]I should not have said what I said[/I]. I responded, almost not even remembering it, [I]don't worry about it. [/I] Subsequently I found out that the majority of the family are alcoholics. [I]I am not judging but sometimes people look for problems in other houses, because they know too well their own. And you know what? [/I]I really could not have cared less what the lady said. I hugged her and told her not to worry. I have grown so much due to this site that little that people say to me has much of an effect. My son behaved so beautifully, so graciously. I was so proud of him. I can see the changes he is making. With my own eyes. More and more I am seeing that everything comes down to our own self-acceptance. [/QUOTE]
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