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To young to raise a teen, help!!
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 697307" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Hi Hollie. Welcome. Wow, what a life story you already have at such a young age. You've been through so much already. I applaud your choice to help your baby brother out, it is a noble thing to do. </p><p></p><p>Raising a teenager can be tough, I can tell you from experience. I raised my younger sister from the time she was 11 ( I was 25 at the time too) until she left for college. I did get her in therapy and I suggest, as others have, that you find a therapist too, for all of you to figure out how to do this. It's a huge change in your life and it's going to take time. When you change the relationship from sister to the person who makes the rules, it is a big shift and it takes time for everyone to learn the new rules. </p><p></p><p>I agree about boundaries, both of you are in the middle of a huge change and everyone needs to be clear about what is expected of them and what they need to do. A counselor can guide you through this. </p><p></p><p>Since your brother is a minor, you may be eligible for assistance from the state you live in. I also raised my granddaughter and I went to court for guardianship and while researching what to do, I found out about many different financial supports through the state, you may want to look into that if that becomes an issue for you.</p><p></p><p>You've done a wonderful thing in helping out your brother, and I can tell you from experience that it's a challenging path but it sounds like you're up for it. Your brother likely has his own abandonment issues and hurts from the childhood you all had, so getting counseling for you and your brother will help you to form a new relationship and work through some of the things that you're going through and that he's going through too.</p><p></p><p>I had a similar kind of childhood as you describe, only my parents had mental illness problems......the end result is probably the same. I raised my sister, my daughter and my granddaughter, so I'm a sort of weird expert in taking on other people's kids (!), and I know how hard it can be on YOU. All the responses you've had seem like normal, healthy responses to such a big change in your life. Your life is disrupted and you don't know how to proceed. That's hard. You're reaching out for help and that's great. The good news is that you can learn how to do it. You can get support to help guide you. You and your brother can ultimately form a tight knit family unit where you both know what is expected of you.......and you can help each other heal from your childhoods.....</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you found us and glad you're here. Keep posting, it helps. Sending you a big hug......hang in there.....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 697307, member: 13542"] Hi Hollie. Welcome. Wow, what a life story you already have at such a young age. You've been through so much already. I applaud your choice to help your baby brother out, it is a noble thing to do. Raising a teenager can be tough, I can tell you from experience. I raised my younger sister from the time she was 11 ( I was 25 at the time too) until she left for college. I did get her in therapy and I suggest, as others have, that you find a therapist too, for all of you to figure out how to do this. It's a huge change in your life and it's going to take time. When you change the relationship from sister to the person who makes the rules, it is a big shift and it takes time for everyone to learn the new rules. I agree about boundaries, both of you are in the middle of a huge change and everyone needs to be clear about what is expected of them and what they need to do. A counselor can guide you through this. Since your brother is a minor, you may be eligible for assistance from the state you live in. I also raised my granddaughter and I went to court for guardianship and while researching what to do, I found out about many different financial supports through the state, you may want to look into that if that becomes an issue for you. You've done a wonderful thing in helping out your brother, and I can tell you from experience that it's a challenging path but it sounds like you're up for it. Your brother likely has his own abandonment issues and hurts from the childhood you all had, so getting counseling for you and your brother will help you to form a new relationship and work through some of the things that you're going through and that he's going through too. I had a similar kind of childhood as you describe, only my parents had mental illness problems......the end result is probably the same. I raised my sister, my daughter and my granddaughter, so I'm a sort of weird expert in taking on other people's kids (!), and I know how hard it can be on YOU. All the responses you've had seem like normal, healthy responses to such a big change in your life. Your life is disrupted and you don't know how to proceed. That's hard. You're reaching out for help and that's great. The good news is that you can learn how to do it. You can get support to help guide you. You and your brother can ultimately form a tight knit family unit where you both know what is expected of you.......and you can help each other heal from your childhoods..... I'm glad you found us and glad you're here. Keep posting, it helps. Sending you a big hug......hang in there..... [/QUOTE]
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